This is what Rasputin would've wanted.
I feel like I'm being seduced like one of those fancy rainforest birds
is it working
Yes
@manchildstagram / manchildstagram.tumblr.com
This is what Rasputin would've wanted.
I feel like I'm being seduced like one of those fancy rainforest birds
is it working
Yes
The teenager was asked to write a short scene or draw a short comic using a comedic trope from a list on a handout in their HS American Lit class. They chose to do the comic โฆ
the Bard will never die.
and this comic is fucking genius.
I love my mom.
I am risking nothing
I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY
Will not risk.
sorry followers :(
omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy
Whyโre you being mean to my mum?
goddamn it
Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances
Koop
This has 1.2 million reblogs โฆ Ps not riskin it
1.4 almost ps not risking it
Fuck this post
I am sorryโฆ
I fucks with my moms too heavy to be playing games. REBLOG
Hell no.
No chances ๐๐ฉ
fantasy characters: โGeezโ
me: who the fuck spread Christianity there
this two-years-old shitpost just gained a hundred notes who the snickerdoodles dug it up
W H A T
In moments like this I always fall back on the fact that they also arenโt speaking English because they donโt have England or the many languages and conquering peoples that contributed to the creation of the English language and therefore the work musr be a translation into recognizable terms in our worldโs terms. Call that Tolkien Brainrot.
Definitely funnier if you make fantasy explanations though,
Champagne is a wizard who sells bubbly alcohol.
Itโs called English because of the original Lish people, all languages start with En here.
French fries are not potatoes theyโre roots of the french plant.
Goodbye is now short for โgood be your eyeโ wishing you luck seeing the path ahead.
Jesus Christ is a long dead lich who used to cause everyone problems and we havenโt stopped saying her name when things go wrong.
And thatโs the Pratchett approach
I hope Barbie is so good and successful it makes every executive thatโs turned everything bright and fun made for young girls into edgy boring teen dramas for the last ten years spontaneously combust into flames
The Goth Family
Mortimer (top left), Bella (top right)
Alexander (left), Cassandra (right)
Keandra (bottom)
Hugo (not displayed; infant)
They adopted a child? ๐
I'm quite curious to see what's up, myself. ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ I'm 'bout to log back on right now actually. I'll report to you asap~
I'll be waiting
Bob Pancakes is the father!!!!!!!!!
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now iโm thinkingโฆ.maybe this is the good luck post
โฆ..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
i need all the help i can get for finals
Hey so
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.ย
So you know.ย
This might be the real one, yโall.
Give salary increase and wfh plz
Just completed an application for a new job - could use all the good luck
I love genuinely innocent โboys will be boys.โ Just saw a guy come out of a frat house to poke a pair of jeans theyโd left outside - they were frozen solid, and as soon as he confirmed that, like twenty more boys came rushing out of the house going โYOOOOOOOOOOโ
I heard grunting outside my window the other night and there were four boys struggling to push this giant snowball (like 7 foot diameter) down the sidewalk.
I once lost my keys at a frat house.
My drunk ass had actually walked home without them, pounded on my apartment door, gotten let in by my rightfully-disgruntled roommate, and proceeded to pass out on the couch.ย Apparently I puked in the toilet before passing out.ย I do not remember this part.
The next morning, I schlepped back to the frat house.ย I stood there, right in front of the front door.ย This was a novel experience for me.ย Iโd never been at a frat house in broad daylight before.
A boy, presumably, of the house, asked me what I was doing.ย
โI lost my keys in here last night,โ I called back.ย ย โI was seeing if I could go in and look for them?โ
He opened the door and gestured for me to come in.
โGo wherever you want.โ
Iโd never seen a frat house post-party before.ย Wandering up the stairs and through the halls, I was surrounded by hungover and still-drunk frat boys stumbling around in their socks and sandals and gym shorts, seeking out food and showers like moths to a porch light.ย A few of them threw puzzled glances my way.ย Iโm sure they thought I was some post-bacchanalia hallucination.
I entered one room where a boy was drunkenly watching some Old Yeller-esque movie on a tiny TV in the corner of his room from his bed.
โDo you like dog movies?โ he asked, voice all mumbly from grogginess and also from the fact that his face was squished against his pillow and half-buried by his blanket.
I told him I did.
He mumbled again, pleased, and asked what I was doing.ย I told him I was looking for my keys.
โSorry, I havenโt seen any keys around here.โ
I didnโt doubt him.
Twenty minutes had passed.ย Iโd searched just about every bedroom and nuclear-waste-dump-site of a bathroom in that house.ย Iโd given up on ever finding my keys and was prepared to beg my roommatesโ forgiveness and get a new set copied.
As I stood there in the hallway, silently bewailing my predicament, a particularly-burly frat boy approached me.
โYou need help with something?โ
โI lost my keys here last night and I canโt find them, Iโve looked everywhere.โ
โWhat do they look like?ย Iโll put it into the group chat.โย He was already pulling out his phone.
No one ever checks a group chat, I thought, but what the hell.ย It was worth a shot.ย ย โUm, itโs just a ring of keys.ย The keychain is a pink plastic cat, though, like yea big.ย Like bright pink, you canโt miss it.โ
He nodded, presumably typing this description faithfully into the group chat.
โAlright, I sent the message out.ย Good luck.โ
And with that, he turned and left.
A few moments later, I heard a distant thundering.ย It was coming from upstairs, and it was getting louder and louder.ย One assumes that how I felt in that moment was how Simba felt seeing the wildebeest stampede through the ravine as a horde of large young men all thundered down the stairs, making a beeling for me.
โSomeone tell the girl!โ One of them shouted, faceless in the mob.ย โGirl!ย Hey, GIRL!!!ย ย We found your keys, girl!!!โ
They circled around me.ย I hadnโt felt that small since I was maybe eleven years old.ย One of them split himself off from the crowd.
โAre theseย -โ he pulled out a ring of keys from his pocket, โyour keys?โ
And lo, there was the distinctive bright millennial pink cat keychain dangling off the ring.
โYes,โ I whispered.ย ย โOh my god, yes.โ
The cheer went up.
Turns out he found them in the bathroom upstairs.ย I thanked them again profusely.ย There was a scattered round ofย โno problemsโ and then, just as suddenly as they descended, they all dispersed, like ships in the night.
THIS is boys will be boys
on a camp with teenage boys recently and as i was one of the camp leaders, it was part of my duties to help wake said boys in the morning (at 6am or a similar ungodly hour).
we (the camp leaders) found the most efficient way to do so was to blast music from a tinny little speaker one of us owned.
so before the sun itself has risen, weโre walking down a corridor with 8+ rooms filled with 6 or more boys in each, blasting the one and only Let It Go from Frozen, hoping to wake a few students, preparing for hateful commentary.
instead, what we got was the thumps and shouts of boys excitedly leaping from bunk beds, stuffing on shirts and bursting into the corridor to scream the lyrics to Let It Go.
every.single.boy.did this.
as soon as the song finished, they acted like it never happened and went back to their rooms to get dressed.
you will all be pleased to learn that provided with the zero-gravity environment of scuba diving, it is not uncommon to turn around to see 3 or 4 teenage boys t-posing mid water column
Young men and boys! Please reclaim โboys will be boysโ by doing chaotic good things, having good clean fun, and engaging in benevolent bro culture.
the most disorienting thing thats ever happened to me was when a linguistics major stopped in the middle of our conversation, looked me in the eye, and said, "you have a very interesting vernacular. were you on tumblr in 2014?" and i had to just stand there and process that one for a good ten seconds
reblogging because health
The lemon tho
Come get your healthy dose of Kelloggs asthma cigarettes
Oh, worm?
Look at what theyโve taken from us
hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ainโt got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when heโs rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit
Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.
He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.
Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.
In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.
So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.
In response to the question โHow did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?โ there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writerโs room, and didnโt review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.
Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. Itโs so catchy though, Iโm doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:
holy shit read the article. itโs worth it and completely batshit
This is fucking insane
I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted
Best of favorite dance moves ๐๐บ via @ Ed People on Youtube https://twitter.com/TansuYegen/status/1560874626380857344
I hope every writer who sees this writes LOADS the next few months. Like freetime opens up, no writers block, the ability to focus, etc etc you're able to write loads & make lots of progress <3
them: are you ok you look out of it
me: yea sorry just tired
my brain: