“Do you think seahorses write fpreg” and the many other riveting things my friend texts me right before I go to work

what a silly, silly thing i have drawn

I must not start shit online. Starting shit online is the peace-killer. Starting shit online is the little death that brings total obliteration.

I will stay in my fucking lane and let the urge to start shit pass over and through me. And when the urge has passed, I will quietly seethe in Discord chat with my friends and rejoice when karma inevitably gets their asses.

Bernard Hill

1944 - 2024

Bothersome beast, comforting friend

You're a dumbass who the fuck says something like that

a few months ago my friend called me and told me she was moving back up near me from 7 hours south in the middle of nowhere and asked if i would help her because she couldn’t move the furniture by herself and the town was so small there was no moving company (there were actually only 5 or six businesses in the whole town including both restaurants) and she had no one else down there to ask. 

And even though money is pretty tight for her, she told me I could name my price if I would help her, because it was so far away.

I told her she was a dummy for thinking i would take her money but that i would accept the traditional helping-a-friend-move price: a meal (i know she would feel wrong about herself if she didn’t do something for me in return, that’s just how she is) Tradition suggests pizza and beer, we opted for enchiladas and a margarita.

we crashed on the floor of the empty place and left back north in the morning - when we got back to the city three more friends met us at her storage place (the place she was moving into wouldn’t be vacant for a couple months) and we started to move all her stuff up to a storage room on the THIRD FLOOR (because large city storage places be like that)

we had just taken the first box out of the truck when the (only) lady working there walked by and told us they closed in an hour and twenty minutes, and she couldn’t stay even a little late because she had to get to her other job.

One hour twenty minutes. To completely un-jenga a large uhaul and re-tetris it back into a similar sized room on the third floor.

We all just, shared a look, took off hoodies, and got the fuck down to business. 

It was actually.. I still cherish look we passed around. The tiny eyebrow quirks and chin nods. The eye glints. The bigger breath we each took as we prepared to kick it up several gears. That moment of wordless connection, when we all just silently agreed that we were damn well going to do the impossible and didn’t even waste the time it would take to say anything, just got to it.

And we did it too. Finished with exactly two full minutes to spare. And then we all went for dinner and drinks to celebrate. And my friend’s friends that came to help? Two of them were acquaintances/friends of mine already. Like I lived with one for a year a decade ago sort of thing. But this experience? Brought us all closer. Made myself a new friend too.

And the friend i helped move? She and I are closer than ever because of it.

When i left our storage success diner to go home, she asked me again if I was sure i wouldn’t take any money.

I said “I ever tell you when I was 22 I went down to Hollywood to try that scene out? Anyway ten months later, when I just couldn’t do it anymore, and needed to come back, I called one of my best friends and said i can’t do this anymore i need to come back. You know what he said? He said: I’ll be there tomorrow. Not how much will you pay me, not what do i get out of it, not will you be able to cover my gas, just: I’ll be there tomorrow. Okay? You’re my friend. If you need help, I’m going to be there”

If helping someone move ruins your friendship, you’re doing at least one of those two things very wrong.

Reblogging for the last line

Everyone says that the eagles should have just carried the ring to Mordor but people who really know their lore know that they were actually stuck in some sort of hotel

EVERYBODY SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MANS

we should talk more about cities that are vampires. cities that are cold and wet and sink into your bones and stay there. cities that are hungry and want to live. dead cities that dont know they're dead and suck the life force of their people to maintain the delusion. cities with harbors that are actually mouths; one-way entries. cities that are devastatingly lonely and see consumption as love

you will live and you will say the wrong things and make mistakes and people will love you anyways.

i made this post because i've got so many friends that think saying something wrong in a conversation is the end of the world. it isn't. you'll be okay. you don't have to be embarrassed about every little thing. you are alive and doing things and speaking to people. you will make mistakes and you will live.

i don’t want a job i want to read good books and drink good coffee and get kissed on the neck

Respect the Dauphinoise Potatoes:

The next time you order a dish that comes with dauphinoise potato, eat every single fucking morsel of it. Its an enormous pain in the tits to make and I have to be physically restrained if I see any leftovers come back from the floor to the pit because I want to punch that guest in the head.

Bioluminescence Oil, 18 x 24 in, 2015, First in the Bioluminescence series. The light of life and the natural world. In all the vastness of space, as of yet, we know of only one planet that supports life. At least within some great distance from here, life is rare. Each organism being the exquisite and detailed product of billions of years of evolution, life is precious. This point of light and inspiration stands in contrast to the lanterns and lights that are historically thought to be sources of illumination but are now dimmed; mythologies and superstitions humans have created as we struggled in the dark of ignorance to understand our world. But the process of science has revealed a luminous, living planet, more amazing than we could have ever imagined. Where the intricacies of biology are miracles of evolution and our consciousness is a gift of natural processes that allow us to experience what it is to be alive. Prints: https://robrey.storenvy.com