who is this masked madam?

I think it was put 10 million years ago just for cats

Important, indeed

Bothersome beast, comforting friend

why did they make "mans laughter" illegal & has it lead to the male loneliness epidemic?

in the japanese suburbs, every street is lined with rain gutters, so even during heavy rain, the streets are perfectly navigable, even on foot. in the american suburbs, there's like one drain every couple of streets, so whenever it storms, the streets turn into rivers

the american driver craves the sensation of hydroplaning

the american

driver craves the sensation

of hydroplaning

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I think adults need summer vacation. Like let's just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I'm so tired.

Love to see this post getting notes again. None of us are ok.

yall know that post with all of those absolutely stunning crochet flowers? well i just bought a pattern from the shop those are from and Good Fucking Lord.

I was expecting a like a Chart or two, maybe some written instructions. not Seventy Seven full color pages for One type of rose.

this was like 8 bucks???? obviously i did some redacting but Good Lord. if you are even a little bit into crochet go throw money at this absolute Mad woman its Definitely worth it.

back at it almost an entire year later. and i can now confirm she's this insane in all of her patterns (there's over 84 of them????) (<compliment)

she has also made a website since the first post (link) the patterns are cheaper there and the payment is handled through PayPal (and I'm guessing she gets a Way bigger cut of the money than with her Etsy so maybe check out the site instead) of the Etsy listed above.

also quick faq below the cut bc idk, supporting small businesses ran by WOC is important and this lady is rad. I just genuinely love her products and want more people to know about them.

I was window shopping and well. If you were hesitant about trying a patty pattern bc money is Tight for everyone rn. Here's one that just straight up free because she discontinued the pattern collection it was a part of.

also she has a new website and it's just nice :)

Columbia is a fucking joke

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

google help me

the thing is, stephen king is generally pretty good at creating complex, well-rounded characters, which makes it all the more jarring when one of those characters abruptly comes out with what i'll term a "kingism". i don't know how best to define a kingism other than "you'll know it when you see it". it's the voice of the author intruding on the voice of the character, and in this case the voice of the author has a bad sense of humour and is ravenously, inexplicably horny

random example of a kingism aka "he would not fucking say that"

this too is a kingism

one of the hallmarks of a kingism is that when a character is being Horny On Main (or In Maine), they can never do it in a normal way. they have to come up with a sequence of words that nobody has ever said before in the history of the english language. here's another example:

i'm starting a collection

Actual roman epitaph for a dog

humans are the same

I’ve seen this one doing the rounds a few times (and it makes me cry every time I see it), but was curious about the original Latin text, so I did some digging: it’s a shortened version of CIL 10, 00659, a tombstone from Salernum (modern Salerno, Italy). (source; CIL is the Corpus Inscriptionum Latinarum).

And here’s my translation:

tl;dr: this dog was named Patrice and was very, very loved.  (another translation with some glossing of the text.)

STOP MAKING ME CRY ON PUBLIC TRANSIT DAMMIT

YES I'M GAY:

faGgot

dykAe (the a is silent)

trannY

i may be stupid

you shut your whore mouth

i won’t hesitate bitch

stop being mean to me

when this post hits 69420 im turning off reblogs

YES I MISSED THE DEADLINE everyone shut up. on april 20 reblogs are going off for realsies this time. cash in while you can

Readers have context you may want to know: It is May 3.

my favorite work memory from this store will always be “hey remember when the subway inside the store closed down and they let me take a bunch of their shit for free and now it lives inside my house?”

my life is a joke

Real life sims 4 career ulockable furniture

I don’t even care who fucking wins the presidency this year look at this

This makes an INCREDIBLE difference!!!! For fuck sake go vote!!!!

A few years back a Republican won my house district by six vote. Now she’s talking about making it illegal to protest the Gazan genocide. Pay attention to Congress

if any of your circle is telling you voting is useless and it will never get us anywhere is lying to get you not to vote. republicans will always vote. not voting is just pulling your teeth for them. go vote and dont reblog propaganda that makes you feel hopeless

Some day I want to see a show that does the “no filler episodes” thing from the opposite direction. Just a whole season worth of low-stakes character pieces that seem to move the overall story absolutely nowhere, then episode 26 pulls all the triggers at once and this massive Rube Goldberg machine of a plot the show’s been quietly setting up in the background the whole time hits you like a truck.

Incredible one-liners as always

some of you guys view misogyny as simply men being mean to women and not a systemic hierarchical issue that prevents women from gaining liberation, support systems or a socioeconomic foothold and it shows every time you talk about “misandry”

Every protein bar is called something like "double chocolate indulgence caramel cookie dough delight crunch" and tastes like clay and sawdust