Do you have any advice for someone trying (and failing) to get over religious anxious? I have a draw towards Kemeticism, and I want to start testing the waters a little with basic offerings/divination, but every time I plan or start to do something, I clam up and feel stupid, so I give up before I even start. Is this normal for newbies? I'm assuming the only way I can get through is to take to leap and just go, but I can't quite bring myself to do it, you know?
Anxiety is tricky. But I found a few things that helps me deal with it.
1.) The Netjeru, as I have come to know Them, are an incredibly loving bunch. Like, really. Their love for humanity is deep, and unconditional. They are also very, very big beings, and little details are often not as important to Them. They don’t expect perfection, ever; They would much rather us do something than nothing at all. Reminding myself of this, even repeatedly, until I know it helps. And a little secret? Even us more experienced Kemetics have to often remind ourselves of this.
2.) Treat yourself as you would treat others in this situation. If you were giving me advice, what would you say? Would you be gentle and understanding and empathetic and compassionate? I’m betting you would. And if you would give that gift to others, you should give it to yourself, too. You deserve it as much as anyone else does.
3.) Also, don’t compare yourself to others you find on the internet. No one has the same exact experience, and if you’re constantly looking at the “older” Kemetics and focusing on what they are doing, your stumbles are going to feel so much bigger than they actually are. I’ve only been practicing about three years, myself, and I don’t always do a great job. My godphone can be staticky, I often have no energy to actually do anything for Them, I get discouraged, I get frustrated, and I have my fallow periods. But the biggest thing is to just get up and try, try again, even if you have to take a little rest in between things.
4.) Sit down and really consider Who you want to start out with. See Who you feel drawn to, talk to Their followers about Them, and research Them. @satsekhem and @thetwistedrope have some great resources on their blogs. You can also poke around the Kemetic Orthodoxy website: they have some basic information as well as recommended reading lists. You can poke at my kemetic tag too. Bast and Anubis (also called Anpu or Yinepu) are fairly open to new followers and pretty relaxed, but They may also direct you to Someone better suited. One day just sit, take a few breaths, and introduce yourself. That’s it. Nothing more. Just who you are, and what you want to do (even if its as vague as trying to learn about Kemetic polytheism and the Netjeru). You can offer cool water, if you want, but don’t stress over it.
5.) From there, start small. Not everything needs to be a big song and dance. Keep Them in mind as you do things. Take for example cleaning your living spaces: dedicate each step to a different Netjeru. Listen quietly to how you feel each time you do something with Them in mind. Then start slowly adding things in, like inviting one or two of Them to watch a movie with you, or put your music on shuffle and ask Them to pick songs They like.
6.) Once you are comfortable with the idea of Them in your life, you can try to slowly to add more structured things in. @idi-the-noof has a great beginner’s ritual that is super simple but effective. Remember that things really don’t have to be big ordeals. Light a candle and sit and talk to Them about your day. Share a glass of water or your meal with Them. Add a little time, may two or three minutes a day, where you sit and just… be with Them, as you are. Meditate, be mindful, write in a journal, even pick up the phone and pretend to talk to Them.
I think its normal for some to have a hard time figuring out where to start. It can feel so very overwhelming, but the Netjeru love you, and won’t ever turn away followers. They will be very understanding, and if you ask for help in getting to know Them, They will try to provide it.
I hope this helps. If there’s a more specific issue I can help with, feel free to send me another anon or ping me on messenger!
Good luck!
