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Kabru has a secret admirer in the castle!

i want to be a conventionally attractive wealthy skinny ciswoman so i can go on the bachelor and make it all the way thru the competition, and when the guy proposes to me i just like leap towards him and close my teeth around his neck and bite as hard as i can. just absolute animal brutality like shaking his neck like a ragdoll, growling ripping tearing etc, and then before anyone can stop me immediately run into traffic and die so no one ever gets the chance to understand why that happened

Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

If I were tumblr famous this would be a smash hit

the Columbia University arrests are worse than they seem. They're arresting protesting students for trespassing. It goes without saying students cannot meaningfully "trespass" in the common areas of a university they attend. So Columbia University has suspended all student protestors from their institution, in the process revoking their access to housing, their belonging, and most crucially damaging their academic futures. We are witnessing full scale silencing and removal of anyone of conscience from the next generation of academia.

beyond that the columbia common is literally an open space during the day; the gates are open and it's possible to pass through it like you'd pass through a regular block. even after my student ID expired i was still able to walk through the commons bc ID is not requested until you enter an actual building. it's quite common to see parents, toddlers, and such who are clearly not enrolled just hanging out. so not only were the students not trespassing at a SCHOOL THEY PAY FOR, there was also not a precedent for non-students to be disallowed from the grass and walkways.

Item: Mask of Smooching

what if in silence of the lambs they wheeled him out like this and everyone started laughing so hard and having such a good time trying to feed him french fries through the little hole they forgot about the kidnapping and she died

we need to bring back inviting people over for cake and coffee. my grandma used to do that all the time and I think it's a lost art

just a reminder to COMPLETELY boycott Eurovision this year; Azerbaijan and Israel, despite committing genocide, are STILL allowed to compete & have NOT been banned. by refusing to ban both countries, Eurovision is profiting off of the genocide of Palestinians and Armenians.

do not listen to the artists. do not pirate or stream the artists' music, and this applies to ALL the artists who are competing and performing this year. do not listen to the songs on ANY platform, do not give them ANY attention.

write to your broadcasters and tell them you REFUSE to watch the channels until they recognise the Armenian and Palestinian genocides & that you find it disgusting how they are allowing Eurovision despite Azerbaijan and Israel's entries.

do NOT give eurovision OR the competing artists ANYTHING but silence.

boycott ALL of eurovision.

Vengeance won’t change the past, mine or anyone else’s. I have to become more. People need hope. To know someone is out there for them. The Batman (2022) dir. Matt Reeves

modern day who’s on second

“me saw who! me saw who!!!”

I cannot stop watching this video. It’s fucking hilarious and I’ve watching it’s approximately 20 times already

I will open the fucking TikTok app just to watch this video multiple times

TIKTOKER: I swear to God, no one tickles my testicles more than the people of my own fucking country. Okay, so like WHAT HAPPENED was this year, this summer, I was in Korea. And I linked up with a homie that I haven't met in a long time, just catching up. "Oh my God, how are you? You GRADUATED? That's insane, where do you work!?" Whatever. Okay.

So there was a conversation about like, food and preferences. So I just asked him! I just asked him: (in Korean, pronoucing "asparagus" as a Korean loan word) "Hey, when you eat steak, do you put asparagus?"

(in English) And this BITCH. He looks at me DEAD STRAIGHT IN THE FUCKING EYES. Has the AUDACITY to just.... degrade, I guess! Ask me: (in Korean) "HAH! Hey, aren't you from America? Why are you calling it (emphasizing the Korean pronunciation of asparagus) ASPARAGUS?"

(in English, in an exaggerated stereotypical American accent) OH, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY! Am I supposed to say ASS-PARA-GUSS? ASS-PARA-GUSS? DO I GO (says his question again in Korean, but breaks up the flow of the speech by pronouncing all the loan words with American pronunciation).

IT FUCKS THE FLOW!!! WHY ARE YOU BITCHING!? I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY! YOU MONOLINGUAL FUCK!!!!

my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥🤑 this strain is called "the naked time" 😳 youll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit.

me five minutes later: dude i swear i just saw sulu fencing in the hallway

my buddy spock pacing: when i feel friendship for you im ashamed

do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"

do yoo evew say someting and den tink “wow dis isn’t even a bit!! im just wike dis UwU”

This post has been UwU-ified!

i feel dirty after reading that

do yoo need a scwubby wubby? OwO

i think i do need a scwubby wubby to be honest but not from you

When is it my turn to be happy.

I think the most fun part of monsters inc is boo calling sulley “kitty” and mike wazowski by full government name