I don't think I have a short attention span. I think I need multiple things invading my senses in order for me to focus on one thing

Someone: but...isn't that a way of saying ur attention span is still shit?

No. A short attention span means that if someone ik walked passed you, I stopped listening to focus on them. What I'm talking about is the fact I was listening for 5 seconds, spaced out, and only because that person walked passed you did I snap back to reality and did the thing of observing both your words and their actions until one of you left the room.

Someone: that still means you have a shit attention span

Yeah, I'm in denial...

So like- I found this in my drafts and actually started sobbing for Evangeline as I was reading. It starts off rlly crappy but it gets better, I promise-

It's unfinished tho. I don't really plan on finishing it but I'd like to come back to it some day. I don't ever get to the Mare apart; it's literally just Evangeline and Elaine breaking up-

Red Queen AU where Elaine and Evangeline break up and Evangeline runs to Mare because I said so. Also this takes place while there's still a war going on but for plot purposes, Elaine is in Montfort

It was breakfast time in Montfort, though the banquet table was empty. Except for the two lovers, Evangeline and Elaine. Elaine picked at her food as if she was deep in thought, occasionally throwing wary glances towards Evangeline every so often. Evangeline pretended not to notice, but the unnatural light that Elaine manipulated to cast her eyes in shadow was too hard to miss.

"Are you okay?" she asked with genuine care in her tone.

Elaine sighed and gently pushed her plate away, looking up at Evangeline with serious eyes. "Evangeline...my love... There is something we need to discuss."

Evangeline raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow in curiosity. Elaine made it sound as if this talk was urgent. Whatever it was, she wanted to know before it gave her anxiety for the rest of the day.

"Let's discuss it now. What is it?"

Evangeline internally gulped as her mind caught up with the mood. It was something bad for sure.

Evangeline and Elaine have been having problems ever since the war started, and ever since the world seemed to try to separate them more and more. Elaine got tired of it and wanted out, constantly trying to persuade Evangeline to run away with her, when Evangeline barely knew what she really wanted and how she wanted to obtain it.

Talks would turn into screams, anger turned into tears. As much as Evangeline loved Elaine, she never wanted to confide her deepest fears in her. She didn't want to burden the person she loved so dearly, and so she stayed quiet when Elaine would lecture her.

This only put a strain on their relationship, winding the chord tighter and tighter until it was fit for strangling even the best of warriors. The air would turn thick with the unresolved pressure from both of them, making their interactions awkward and brief. At times like breakfast, there would be little conversation. And during the rare long talks, Elaine would always find some way to snake her own desires into them. Desires Evangeline still couldn't give her at present time.

Evangeline depended on Elaine for her own happiness, always thinking that, yes, Elaine was enough. Even through the fights and unwanted thoughts of being trapped, being powerless in this game, she still wanted to stick by Elaine no matter the tide.

But for Elaine...there was something she wanted more than the girl in front of her.

"It's about us."

Evangeline blinked at Elaine's bright face, a face that became once again cast in shadow as she continued. "I don't think we should stay together."

Evangeline's breath hitched in her throat, choking her for a second as she tried to muster up her words. "What do you mean, love?"

"It's clear that you don't know what you want." Elaine frowned and manipulated the light again to make her face clearer to the girl caked in metal and leather, "You always say that you will choose me when it's all over. Well, when is it going to be over?!" She doesn't wait for Evangeline to speak and cuts her off by gesturing to her attire, "You're always out and coming home with blood all over you. Blood that I have to wash off at the end of the day. Even now, you look ready for battle. And by the end of today, you don't know if you're coming back tomorrow, in 3 weeks, or never."

Evangeline is about to speak up warily but is cut off once again by Elaine's hand slamming down on the table, her expression one of pure rage and exhaustion.

"I'm sick of it!"

Elaine sighs in relief, glad to have gotten that off her chest for the 3rd time that week. She's never been so upfront and straight forward about it before. And she definitely never said anything about leaving Evangeline before in her life. But she decided. Enough was enough.

Evangeline stared at her in shock and disbelief, not wanting to believe what she just heard. She briefly wonder if this was a dream, and that what Elaine was saying was just something her stressed subconscious cooked up and burnt to feed her anxious heart. Her mouth gaped open as the seconds ticked by. Time seemed to slow for the girl made of iron and steel.

She...doesn't mean that, right?

With a deep breath, Evangeline began to speak, her imperfect thoughts written clearly on her face for all to see, like the thick bold print on Maven's coronation posters.

"I-I know you're tired of me never being here... But please just give it a bit more ti-"

"DON'T YOU GET IT, EVANGELINE?!" Elaine's temper erupted from her form, spilling over her and Evangeline in waves. Her body was bathed in full light now, fully and dangerously illuminated in the now bright room. Her eyes simmered with something wild and uncontrollable, something reckless and ugly. This was the first time Evangeline saw her like this. "I'VE GIVEN YOU TIME!"

Deep down, Evangeline knew this was true. She knew this more than anything. All the times spent thinking about Elaine were probably times she spent thinking about Evangeline in turn. She understood better than the next person, because, like Elaine, Evangeline always found her being frustrated with herself in each moment of sudden thought about the girl sculpted by the son. She understood so well that it was horrifying.

"I love you, Evangeline Samos. But I can't keep living like this. I can't keep worrying about when or if you'll come home, how much time we still have, and if this war will even be over before we die old. I hate to admit it... But there's something I want more than you. "

"But you're all I want," Evangeline wanted to say. Elaine was all she ever wanted, all she ever needed. And the one thing she would never forgive herself for losing.

But how could she prove that when there were other things important to her as well? Anothers' love that she still wanted to earn... Was it truly so ridiculous to not want to throw away one unrequited love for a reciprocated one? She couldn't be sure...

Evangeline choked up and looked as if she was about to cry. But she was too stubborn to even shed a tear. The only words she could manage to get passed her lips without

Things I wanna ask my best friend after not talking to them for months because of reasons we both understand:

@travalerray please answer all these questions so that I know you're not dead and that hope is not lost

Have you seen my YouTube channel? Only 2 videos up currently but yeeeeee *insert more cringe here*

In love with his design honestly

First: edited

Second: original

Trying out a new style and I actually like it for once :D

And I'm also very impressed at the fact I did that hand

Please do not repost! Reblogs are appreciated!

Thought you'd like to know that my ego got stabbed at by my cousin's messy Chainsaw Man sketches

As a response, I drew some messy Demon Slayer stuffs

I'm getting better at this :)

I just finished If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio and am in the middle of losing my fucking mind