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As much as I love theories about Anya coming up with her own name from misinterpretation (AN1A), I’m not sure how that holds since the lab scientists also explicitly called her Anya/Ania when she was younger…

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gaycommunist

losing a friend (for the one that got away) 1/3

@frenchtoastlesbian //personalmessage.blogspot.com // @linguinereid // trista mateer // unknown // richard siken // ocean vuong “on earth we’re briefly gorgeous”// unknown // unknown

[ID:

  1. A tumblr post by user frenchtoastlesbian, reading: losing people is so interesting because like. no i don’t want to speak to you ever again. yes i think about you on your birthday.
  2. “The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.”
  3. A drawing of a book, with the words ‘it takes two to be a stranger’ on the cover.
  4. A tumblr post by user linguinereid, reading: also today is my old best friends birthday (we just grew apart) and it’s so weird how you can go from talking every day to just sending a little “happy birthday! i hope this year treats you well!” to them. like i know everything about you, but also nothing.
  5. I’d rather think of this / as a confession: / you are still the first person / I want to share new things with. 
  6. Graffiti on a wall, reading: “If we ever stop talking.. Send me a song”
  7. Sometimes you get so close to someone you end up on the other side of them. - Richard Siken, Editor’s page: the long and the short (...)
  8. A tumblr post from memoryslandscape, reading: “I miss you more than I remember you.” - Ocean Vuong, from On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous (Penguin, 2019).
  9. A handwritten note, reading: I always see stuff and think “oh you’d like this” / I hope that you see stuff and think that I would like them, too.
  10. Maybe someday / we will be two /people meeting / again for the first time.
  11. A tumblr post by coffeeacademia, reading: i find it so beautiful how we all read the same poetry and miss different people
  12. A tumblr post by user frenchtoastlesbian, reading: losing people is so interesting because like. no i don’t want to speak to you ever again. yes i think about you on your birthday. / end of ID]
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m--bloop
Intergenerational trauma / mental illness

The Sopranos (6x17) / Esquire Hereditary review / Moonlight / My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem / Pachinko (1x01) / I Love You, Honeybear (Father John Misty) / Russian Doll (2x04) / Doctor Sleep Bojack Horseman (2x01)

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when sleeping at last said "I want to love you but I don't know how" and when bojack horseman said "I do love you, by the way. I mean as much as I'm capable of loving anyone. which is never enough" and when william faulkner said "perhaps they were right putting love into books. perhaps it could not live anywhere else" and when lorde said "my mother's love is choking me" and when siken said "if you love me, henry, you don’t love me in a way I understand" and when maggie stiefvater said "need was adam’s baseline, his resting pulse. love was a privilege" and when benjamin alire sáenz said "but love was always something heavy for me. something I had to carry"

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love as a place, a lover as a home

bravado - yoke lore // textpost - @wetdress // pride and prejudice (2005) director’s commentary - dir. joe wright // home - seventeen // untitled (ft. lyrics from lorde’s supercut) - @fridayiminlovemp3​ // come home with me (reprise) - anaïs mitchell (hadestown) // shelter - miles johnston // someone asked me what home was… - e.e. cummings // 아가씨 (the handmaiden) (2016) - dir. park chanwook // tyler knott gregson

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scullys

Dearest Gilly, Sometimes I feel there’s a hole inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. And the moon tonight, there’s a circle around it. A sign of trouble not far behind.

PRACTICAL MAGIC 1998 | Dir. Griffin Dunne

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I think about dying but I don't want to die. Not even close. In fact my problem is the complete opposite. I want to live, I want to escape. I feel trapped and bored and claustrophobic. There's so much to see and so much to do but I somehow still find myself doing nothing at all. I'm still here in this metaphorical bubble of existence and I can't quite figure out what the hell I'm doing or how to get out of it.

Matty Healy

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nathearcher

thoughts on trying to be great

the queen’s gambit (2020) / this is me trying by taylor swift / little women (2019) / mirrorball by taylor swift / the haunting of bly manor (2020) / supercut by lorde / gilmore girls (2000) / brutal by olivia rodrigo / normal people (2020) / cruella (2021)

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ritikajyala

There'll be a moment when you realise you're 27 when yesterday you were just 17; and you wouldn't be able to tell how a decade passed away and your life got divided into before and afters. The fury of youth will subdue and nothing will really change but everything will feel different when you look at old photographs and blurry videos taken on cheap mobile phones. Scents will remind you of childhood and certain friends you don't talk to anymore, hangouts will become reunions and mom's burnt pie will become the best food you ever had. And I know on some days you won't be able to show anything of those 10 years but I hope you remember to breathe, and let go of the knot in your chest. I hope you go out in the sun and live a little, because tomorrow is 37.

Edit- I added the visualizer for this piece on my YT, check it out here

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

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Francesca wanted a baby.
She had for quite some time, but it was only in recent months that she’d been able to admit as much to herself, to finally put words to the sense of longing that seemed to accompany her wherever she went.
[…]
But the pang had grown worse, into something more akin to an ache, when her sister Daphne had arrived in Scotland for a visit, all four of her children in tow. It hadn’t occurred to Francesca just how completely a gaggle of children could transform a home. The Hastings children had altered the very essence of Kilmartin, brought to it life and laughter that Francesca realized had been sadly lacking for years.
And then they left, and all was quiet, but it wasn’t peaceful.
Just empty.
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m--bloop
Intergenerational trauma / mental illness

The Sopranos (6x17) / Esquire Hereditary review / Moonlight / My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem / Pachinko (1x01) / I Love You, Honeybear (Father John Misty) / Russian Doll (2x04) / Doctor Sleep Bojack Horseman (2x01)

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