The Ski Trip
After Akira had just earned his Meijin title, Shindou wanted to help him celebrate the win with something special. He knew Akira didn’t like making a big deal out of these kinds of things, but it had also been a while since they had done anything outside of playing or studying Go, and December was coming up. Shindou and Ashiwara came up with the idea at the Go salon one afternoon, when the TV was on and there was news about record snowfall this year.
“Touya,” Shindou said that night after returning home. “When’s that first Shin Shodan match you have to play as Meijin?”
“Hm?” Akira looked up from the life-and-death problems workbook he was reviewing. “I think it’s the 12th, why?”
“The 12th?!” Shindou said. “Can’t you reschedule?”
“Why?” Akira frowned. What is he up to?
“Well… Ashiwara-san and I were talking about going on a trip, with a group, you know? We’ve already asked a couple of people and they’re interested. Even Yashiro said he could come!”
“What trip?” Akira asked. Why doesn’t he ever get to the point in one go?
“A ski trip.” Shindou scratched the back of his head, a little sheepishly. “We were thinking of leaving on the 12th. We could take a plane up to Hokkaido, or a bullet train to Aomori… Just for like, three or four days.”
“You want me to reschedule the Shin Shodan match so we could go on a ski trip?” Akira asked. “Shindou Hikaru, how is your own Go study going? You know, just because the championship season’s over doesn’t mean you get to slack off. You failed out of the preliminaries to the Kisei League again this year!”
“Oh god not again…” Shindou felt his shoulders slumping.
“No, Shindou. I’m not going.” Akira said, returning to reviewing life-and-death problems. “Go have fun with them yourself.”
“Come on, Touya! You should come with us! It’ll be fun!” Shindou said. “And we’re not going to slack off; we’re going to play 10-second Go with each other at the hotel! We’ll bring the boards! It’s a different kind of training!”
“No.” Akira said once more. To him it was a ludicrous idea that anything else could be more fun than Go. And to ask him to reschedule a match on top of it?
“Gah, you’re really something else, Touya!” Frustrated, Shindou resigned himself to going to take his shower and calling the night. “Can’t you tell what I’m trying to do for you?”
“Help celebrate your Meijin title!” Shindou shouted. And your birthday!
“Oh, you must be so fun at parties, Touya!” Shindou have had it. “Except of course you don’t go to any!”
“I’m gonna go take my shower! Don’t talk to me!” Shindou ended their shouting match one-sidedly. Sometimes Akira wondered how they manage to live in the same house and not kill each other with the way they’ve been fighting.
Suddenly no longer in the mood to review Go, Akira took off his glasses and folded them, leaving them on top of the book next to the Go board. He cleaned up the stones and went to set up his futon, hoping to get to sleep before Shindou comes back out. He was nearly dozing off when he heard footsteps coming out of the shower. He laid there on his side, listening as Shindou made his way around the kitchen for a drink of water, then came back into the bedroom. He could feel Shindou’s feet crossing over his own to the closet where the other futon is kept. Then he heard the soft puff as Shindou laid it out behind him, a bit ways farther apart than usual. And then there was a moment of silence.
He heard a bit of shuffling before suddenly feeling Shindou’s fingers touching his hair, brushing back a few locks that had fallen onto his face. Akira kept his eyes closed, not daring to move a muscle.
“Did you forget your own birthday, you idiot?” Shindou’s voice was extremely soft. Then Akira felt Shindou’s lips on his temple, leaving a light kiss. There was more shuffling, and then Shindou was back in his own futon.
“Shindou…” Akira turned to Hikaru and whispered.
“Oh my god!” Shindou yelped. His heart practically jumped out of his chest. “You were awake?!”
“Sorry.” Akira propped himself up in the dark. “Shindou… when is this… trip again?”
“Eh?” Shindou said. “Forget it. If you won’t go then I won’t go either. There’s no point.”
“No…” Akira said softly. “I’m saying… I’ll see if I can reschedule the match… so we can go.”
“Really?” Shindou nearly jumped up at that.
“But you have to promise me you’ll come to the study sessions with Ogata-san after we’re back.” Akira said.
“Ugh… Ogata-sensei, eh?” Shindou’s face turned sour. He was never very good at dealing with Ogata, and had a bad gut feeling about the man’s motives towards Akira, too. “Alright, fine, I’ll go.”
“We were planning on leaving the 12th; dunno if we’re staying for 3 nights or 4 yet…” Shindou eyed Akira. “I guess we’ll figure it out, once we know who else is coming.”
“Ok. I’ll go ask the scheduling department tomorrow.” Akira said, and settled back into his futon. He was planning to fall asleep for real this time, when suddenly he felt something bump up against his futon. Hikaru had moved his futon up against Akira’s, like usual, and his arms reached around Akira from behind. Akira huffed an amused sigh, and went to sleep.
They managed to reschedule the match to a week earlier, so it took place on the 5th, instead of the 12th. In the end they decided to take a bullet train and bus to a resort in Aomori since it was easier to travel by train as a group. The group ended up including the two of them, Waya, Kurata, Ashiwara, Saeki, and Yashiro, who took another train up to Tokyo in the morning. They spent the first day traveling, and then renting equipment at the destination. It was the first time Akira ever skied. He had absolutely no prior experience whatsoever, having spent literally the majority of his entire life playing Go and doing nothing else. Shindou and Waya were snowboarders; Yashiro actually brought his own skis. Kurata, Ashiwara, Saeki and Touya would all be renting skis.
“Why is Touya here?” Waya grumbled to Shindou as they tried out their snowboard boots respectively.
“What do you mean ‘why’? This is a trip to celebrate his title win.” Shindou said.
“What?! Really? Nobody told me!” Waya said. He had come along because both Shindou and Saeki (who was dragged into this by Ashiwara) had invited him. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why do we have to celebrate for him anyway?!”
“Gah, Waya, you ask too many questions.” Shindou frowned as he tightened his boots. “If you don’t like it you can go home.”
“Excuse me, I’ll take these.” Shindou said, standing up and walking to the counter. Waya followed him hurriedly.
“Ok, whatever, but I’m definitely not rooming with him.” Waya said.
“Of course you’re not; I am.” Shindou said as he paid. “You’re rooming with Saeki-san and Ashiwara-san. I think Saeki-san is too scared to room with Ashiwara-san on his own.”
And thus their sleeping arrangement was decided: Shindou with Touya, Kurata with Yashiro, Waya with Ashiwara and Saeki. The next day they headed out early in the morning into the cold all geared up and ready. They took a lift ride up to the base of the mountain, and there they discussed each person’s skill level to decide how the group would split up and move. As expected, Yashiro’s skills were high - he could ski black routes just fine on his own. Shindou and Waya were both comfortable with the red routes. Kurata might not look it, but he was actually fairly good at skiing as well, though he decided to stick with Akira, who was inexperienced. Ashiwara was the same, and would help coach Saeki on the green runs.
“Uh, Shindou…” Akira couldn’t help himself from saying when he heard Shindou and Waya would be taking a higher lift on their own.
“Hm?” Shindou looked back. Akira had a complicated look on his face, like there was something he wanted to say. “You stick with Kurata-san.” Shindou said. “You need to learn, right?” With that, he waved his hand and headed off to an intermediate lift with Waya. He was excited - it had been a long while since he last went snowboarding, and he could really use the physical exercise.
Akira stared behind Hikaru, his brows slightly knitted together. He understood that he couldn’t just go up and start skiing down intermediate routes immediately, but something about not being with Shnidou (and Shindou’s attitude about it) irked him.
Nevertheless, the first day proved to be a lot of fun for Hikaru. He and Waya would race each other down the mountain, zooming past the beginners who stopped and fell frequently. He had fallen less times than he’d expected too - only once or twice - and laughed about them with Waya at lunch. On the other hand, Akira was having fall, after fall, after fall. He was never the sporty type; his hand-eye-leg coordination seemed to refuse to cooperate. Time and time again he saw Shindou and Waya speeding past him as they got down to the easier bottom part of their routes, while he sat hurting from another fall, or with his skis dislodged from his boots (which is a huge struggle to get back up and into). His bones were aching by the time they got back to the hotel room in the evening.
“So, do you want to play a proper game of Go?” Shindou asked, taking out his portable Go board. “Or 10-second Lightning Go?”
Akira was lying face down on his bed, his face stuffed into the pillows with only one eye looking up at Hikaru.
“You’re having fun, Shindou.” He said, his tone edgy and unforgiving.
“Huh?” Shindou frowned. “Yeah sure I am, what’s the problem?”
“No, no problem at all.” Akira said, his frustration growing at Shindou’s seeming insensitivity. “Of course it’s no problem for you when you can ride faster. Nevermind the slower people.”
“Dude, look, what do you want me to do? You’re learning to ski, but I’m snowboarding.” Hikaru said. “There’s nothing I can do for you down there; I’m too fast to stay on green runs!”
“You’re the one who dragged me here, Shindou!” Akira exclaimed. “If it weren’t for you, I’d rather be doing something else!”
“Well that’s why I said we don’t have to come if you didn’t want to, but you decided to come anyway!” Shindou yelled back. “So do you want to play Go or not?!”
“Play it yourself.” Akira turned away from Hikaru, lying on his side. This is one of the things about Shindou that really griped him and always got on his nerves.
“Fine, I will.” Shindou said, reaching for the life-and-death problem workbook he brought along in his backpack. They stayed like this through the whole night, ignoring each other in silence. At dinner they sat apart and talked with everyone else but each other.
This continued on to the next day. Some of the others started to catch onto the tension, which was only relieved when the two were separated by their different routes. Seeing how much Akira was struggling to stay on his feet in skis, even Yashiro volunteered to help coach him, so that Kurata could go on some fast runs and at least have some fun for himself. Yashiro was a very patient teacher (Kurata was too), and encouraged Akira with kind words and expert advice.
The next time Shindou passed by down the green portion of his run, he was surprised to see Akira smiling at Yashiro. Akira had finally managed to ski his S’s without falling at the turn, and was presently slowly skiing down the gentle hill while Yashiro was skiing backwards in front of him. When he failed to brake, he crashed into Yashiro and nearly fell, if not for Yashiro catching them both in time. Akira chuckled with an apology, embarrassed, as they straightened themselves up.
Something bubbled in Shindou’s heart, and foolishly he approached them at a moderate speed. Passing by, he yelled, “Touya, you suck!” before speeding off down the hill. It caught both Akira and Yashiro off guard, with Yashiro remarking, “what’s gotten into him?”
His remark absolutely ignited a fire in Touya Akira. His eyes were burning with anger throughout lunch and everyone felt a little edgy as the tension in the air seemed to thicken twofold. Shindou wouldn’t tell Waya or Kurata what happened. Yashiro felt the need to say something to Shindou for how immaturely he acted.
“Shindou, what was that all about?” He asked. “I don’t think Touya has done anything to deserve that.”
Everyone quietened from their own chitchat and listened. Shindou took another bite of his hamburger.
“Shut up, Yashiro. It’s true anyway.”
“Hey, that’s enough, Shindo-”
“Forget it, Yashiro.” Akira suddenly spoke. “Don’t get worked up over someone like this. Let’s go; you have to show me how to brake properly.” He said as he stood up, taking his finished tray of food with him.
“What’s going on?” Kurata jabbed at Waya’s side with his elbow. Waya shrugged, and looked at his friend, who had the same burning anger in his eyes now. Someone like this, he said?
The afternoon had a bitter aftertaste from the conflict at lunch. Shindou was snowboarding so fast that he won all his races against Waya because Waya just couldn’t keep up. Akira was ardent in learning his new skill with Yashiro, as though he was spurred on by something. They returned to their hotel room that night separately, still staying in silence. Shindou reviewed life-and-death problems on his Go board, while Akira read a book. After dinner time, Yashiro dropped by their room to give Akira some pain relief patches he brought, knowing that Akira had gained a few new bruises with his falls today.
“These don’t smell as bad.” Yashiro said. “I’ve used them a lot.”
“Okay, thank you.” Akira thanked him with a smile.
“Goodnight, Yashiro. Thanks for everything.” Akira said as he saw Yashiro out the door. “It was really fun today.”
“Sure, no problem!” Yashiro said, before heading out to return to his own room. Akira then turned back inside, the smile still on his face as he returned to his bed to apply the patches.
“What are you smiling so much for?” Hikaru suddenly broke the silence. “Just so you know, being able to ski the S is the most basic of basics! It’s nothing to be so happy about!”
“I know that!” Akira said loudly. “I don’t need you to tell me!”
“Then stop smiling like an idiot!” Hikaru shouted.
“Whether I smile or not is none of your business, Shindou!” Akira shouted back. “What is your problem?!”
“Nothing! Except oh who was it that said he’d rather be doing something else yesterday?! And all of a sudden today it’s ‘oh it’s so much fun’?!”
“And what’s wrong with that?! You’re the one who said this trip would be fun! So I AM having fun now!”
“Yeah, I’m sure you can have a lot of fun with Yashiro!”
“Hey, what’s going on in there?” Kurata’s voice suddenly came from the other side of the door with two knocks. “I’m hearing a lot of shouting.”
“Don’t open it.” Hikaru said. Akira frowned, his lips down-turned, and stormed towards the door. “Touya!!”
Akira opened the door with a fervent swing. Kurata was surprised to see his angry face, his breath slightly running out from the fight. Behind Kurata was also Yashiro, Saeki and Waya.
“What’s going on?” Kurata asked. “You guys fighting again?”
“Nothing; Shindou’s just being an idiot.” Akira said, moving aside to let Kurata step in.
“That’s enough, Shindou-kun.” Kurata said. “Now I don’t know what happened, but I’ve been getting a bad vibe from you this whole day. You need to calm down.”
“Yeah.” Yashiro agreed. “Especially after what happened earlier in the day. It was uncalled for.”
“…” Shindou’s lips were pursed in a childish pout. “Fine!” He grabbed his backpack and swung it over his shoulder. “Waya!! I’m going over to your room! I’m switching with Ashiwara-san!”
“Saeki-san, you don’t have a problem with that, do you?” Shindou continued.
“Well, n-no… but…” Saeki replied, knowing that Ashiwara probably wouldn’t be happy. The person in question was not here; he was down at the lobby, because of an errand…
“Then let’s go.” Shindou said, making his way past the group and down the hall. “Waya, come on! Let’s play some Go.”
“Um… uh, ok.” Waya didn’t know how to react. He followed after his friend, and let Hikaru into the room.
“And you’re ok with this?” Kurata turned back to Akira, who stood by the door with a dark face.
“It’s fine, whatever.” He shrugged, turning away. “Let him be. I don’t care.”
“…” Kurata and Yashiro glanced at each other. This is a mess.
“Hey, I’m back! They’re going to bring it up soo-” Down the hall came Ashiwara’s voice as he ran towards the group, then he covered his mouth with his hands when he saw Akira. Oops. “Um, what’s going on? Why is everyone here?”
“Uh… Shindou-kun just had an argument with Touya-kun.” Saeki said. “Shindou-kun said he wants to switch rooms with you.”
“Eh????!” Ashiwara exclaimed with disbelief. “But I…”
“Excuse me, sorry for the wait.” A voice came from down the hall again. A hotel employee was leading another employee with a cart, rolling it towards the group. “We are ready, Ashiwara-sama.”
“What’s this?” Kurata asked. Everyone looked curiously at Ashiwara, except Akira, who was preoccupied with thoughts.
“Um… Let’s go inside first, shall we?” Ashiwara rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, motioning the group towards the room. “Akira, you don’t mind us coming into your room, do you?”
“Huh?” It took Akira a moment to react. “Oh, sure, no problem.”
So the group was ushered into the room by Ashiwara. The hotel employees followed behind him with the cart. Once they were inside, one of them dimmed the lights in the room while the other pulled out a lighter and some candles. Then she pulled the fabric cover off the cart to reveal a quaint birthday cake on a cake dish with a glass cover over it. Silently they worked to put the candles on the cake and light them.
“Happy Birthday, Akira.” Ashiwara said. Everyone else expressed some surprise, before they all got together to congratulate Akira and sing a birthday song for him. Then they let him cut the cake and share the pieces among the group. For everyone else, the cake was delicious; for Akira, it was bland. He was grateful, but he wasn’t happy.
Back in Waya’s room, Shindou played a fairly crappy game of Go with his friend, losing quickly without thinking through his moves. Normally Waya would’ve cheered his victory over Shindou, which was rare nowadays, but his friend’s disquiet bothered him.
“Shindou… Did something happen between you and Touya?” He asked.
“Not really.” Shindou lied. “I just… don’t want to be in the same room with him right now.”
“O-oh, yeah! I totally get what you’re saying!” Waya laughed. “I mean, a guy like him… He can really get on people’s nerve sometimes…” He stood up to go get a drink from the mini-fridge. “Although, I kinda feel sorry for Ashiwara-san.”
“Yeah… I guess I did something mean to him.” Shindou said. “He seems to really like Saeki-san.”
“Yeah, but I’m sure Saeki-san is actually grateful for you switching. It’s like you said, I think he’s scared of Ashiwara-san.”
“Speaking of whom,” Shindou said, cleaning up the stones from the board after reviewing what he did wrong. “Where is Ashiwara-san?” The switch isn’t technically finalized yet, since he never got the chance to ask.
“Oh, he had to go to the lobby.” Waya answered. “He went to go order a cake. Did you know that today is Touya’s birthday? Haha. Not that it matters, I guess. Sure as hell ain’t gonna celebrate it for him, right?”
Shindou’s heart stopped. That’s right, how could he forget?! That was part of the reason why he brought Akira on this trip! A horrible feeling overcame Shindou. He was so caught up in his emotions that he let them get the better of him. Those were some pretty awful things to have said to Touya on his birthday. How did he always manage to end up in fights with Akira? Couldn’t he just be a little more honest with his feelings?
That night, neither of them slept well. Ashiwara was ultimately generous enough to agree to the switch; in fact, he was a little concerned over Akira’s moodiness, and so decided to stay with him through the night. The next day they would ski for the last time, then take the bus and train ride home in the afternoon.
Shindou kept going down the same route again and again. Even Waya drifted away from him to try out some other, more interesting routes with Kurata. Hikaru was taking 5-minute lift rides and snowboarding down two-thirds of the same route just so he could check for Akira and Yashiro during the last third of it. Akira was getting better; he was still struggling with balance sometimes, but he was starting to be able to finish green runs on his own, with Yashiro watching from further ahead below.
“Shindou!” Waya’s voice suddenly came from behind Hikaru, who stood watching Akira with his heels dug into the snow on the back edge of his board.
“Oh, Waya.” He said. “Kurata-san.”
“What are you doing?” Waya asked.
“Nothing, just taking a break.” Shindou replied. Waya looked past his shoulder and saw Akira losing his balance once again for another hard fall.
“Look at him!” Waya said leering, unable to hold his laughter down. “Say, Shindou, I think he’s trying to catch up to you.”
“Huh?” Shindou whipped his head around to find Akira struggling to get up from his fall, Yashiro being too far down to come up and help him.
“I think he wants to get good enough to ski beside you, like, race you.” Waya said, chuckling. “Even though he’s so bad at it!”
“Ahh, I see.” Kurata said. “It’s like you guys’ rivalry in Go. He wants to be your rival in skiing too!”
My ski rival? Shindou thought. Even from where he stood afar, Hikaru could see the determination, the ambition being reflected off Akira’s eyes as he groped around the snow for a way to get back onto his feet. It was the same look he saw when Akira set his mind on chasing Sai, and the same look he must have worn himself when he chased Akira. Akira was trying to chase him again, this time in skiing, the same way he’s been trying to chase Akira in Go. Only the difference is, in Go Akira always turned around and reached out to pull Shindou closer, higher up, whereas he himself…
“Waya, Kurata-san.” Shindou said. “Go on without me. I’ll catch up later.” And then he set his board to slide down the hill again, heading in the direction of Akira.
“There he goes.” Kurata said, impressed. Waya eyed the older man, confused. “Sometimes I can’t figure out if those two are really rivals or what.”
Shindou braked sharply by Akira’s side. He grabbed Akira’s arm and pulled him up. Akira was surprised at first that someone came to help, but then scowled when he discovered that it was Shindou. He yanked his arm away, and without a word pushed himself in the other direction with his poles.
“Touya, I’m sorry.” Shindou said, following behind Akira. Since Akira was going slow, it was easy for him to follow just by doing his fallen leaf.
“Oh, you’re sorry now?” Akira said snappily.
Patience, Shindou Hikaru, patience… Shindou inhaled and tried again, “Yes, I am.”
“…” Akira was silent. Hikaru reached for his shoulder.
“Let me go!” Akira jerked his shoulder forward, trying to escape Hikaru’s clutch, but it had the unintended effect of upsetting his balance, throwing him forward towards the snow again. Hikaru barely reacted in time, throwing his arms forward to grab ahold of Akira. Akira’s poles flew out of his hands and slid tumbling down the hill as the two of them looked on.
“Don’t do that again! That was dangerous!” Hikaru shouted, his face full of concern and worry. They were a little too close to the trees on the side for comfort, if this ended more severely.
“Sorry…” Akira blurted quietly, not quite recovering from the scare himself. His shell-shocked look snapped Hikaru out of his anger.
“Oh, no, I mean… I’m sorry.” He said. He didn’t have to yell. It took both of them a moment before they were able to process the shock, then Akira was the first to break the ice.
“I feel like we’ve been saying nothing but ‘sorry’ for the last few minutes.” He chuckled.
“Er… Yeah, I guess.” Hikaru smiled sheepishly, then finally let Akira go. “Touya… Happy belated Birthday. I’m sorry… about last night.”
Akira took a deep breath and exhaled. Then he smiled and nodded. “Thank you.”
“Hey, are you guys planning to get down here or what?” Yashiro yelled from the bottom of the hill, waving Akira’s poles that he had picked up.
“We’ll be right there!” Shindou waved back, then turned to Akira. “Hold my hands.”
Akira did as he was told. Without his poles, he had to rely on Shindou to guide him down the hill. Hikaru slowly descended, snowboarding in a gentle fallen leaf motion while facing the mountain. It worked quite well to guide Akira on his S. Akira’s hands were holding onto his firmly, trusting him with his weight.
“You should lean more forward.” Hikaru said as they made their last stretch. “It’s easier to control your balance when your center of weight is low and forward.”
“Okay…” Akira mumbled, far too concentrated on looking down at the snow kicking up against his skis to look forward (he realized too much snow kicked up is what trips him).
For the remainder of their last day, Hikaru coached Akira, pulling him ahead, teaching him how to find his own balance. They were both exhausted by the time the trip was over and they boarded the bus on the way back. Sleep would soon visit them, but not before Hikaru looked at Akira with a triumphant smile.
“So what?” Akira replied.
“Was it fun, Mister Touya?”
“…” Akira frowned at Hikaru. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against Hikaru’s shoulder. “Fine, yes, it was fun.” He said grudgingly, but added, “but still not as fun as Go.”
Hikaru chuckled, shaking his head, because he agreed, and they were both hopeless Go fanatics. He put his head against Akira’s, and soon they fell asleep together.
