(you gotta have) faith
| harringrove | new year's eve | very irresponsible use of the song 'faith' |
.
At first, Steve thinks it’s just one of those weird things that happen sometimes.
Brain cacophonies, Carol calls them (“And it’s always my mom and always that tone she uses. Her ‘That-cleavage-is-too-low-Caroline―tone. It’s just. It’s c.r.e.e.p.y”), that thing of suddenly thinking somebody’s calling your name except, when you turn around, you realize it was all in your own head.
It happens to Steve with that commanding voice his father uses to hiss out his name (‘Tomorrow at five. Don’t be late, Ssssteven’ and ‘It’s time you stop behaving like a kid, Ssssteven’ and ‘I said no, Ssssteven. And this is my last word on it’). It makes him jump out of sleep at night, that voice. Swears he can hear it calling sometimes while he’s taking a shower, so he can’t but step out of the cozy warmth and slip on his way to the door to check. So fuck if Carol ain’t right. Goddam creepy. Even creepier when is his late English teacher’s, Mr. Fleishman, and that nasal, high-pitched tone with which he used to blow Steve’s ears up and out of his cloud of self-absorption and that now still haunts him sometimes, like some phantasmagoric retaliation for all those times it was Steve who made his ears blow up trying to convince him into turning his C’s into D’s to, ironically, avoid his father’s hissing.
(Steve’s pretty much run out of luck when it comes to‘Otherworldly things that come back to haunt you’. Wouldn't be that much of a surprise having to add Mr. Fleishman to his inexorably growing list)
But.
It’s neither his father's nor Mr. Fleishman's. Nor is it calling him from the messy insides of his own head.
No-no.
The voice Steve hears. The voice yelling his name. The voice singing from the other side of the façade. Hoarse and grave and a little shaken, almost trailing out of key. The voice that makes Steve get up and go looking for it. That voice sounds, unequivocally, like,
“But what th―?”
“―If I could touch yourrrr―ohhhhhHARRINGTON!”
Billy’s.