Matt Lifson, Falling in love with the poison you slap in my mouth, 2020

Oil on linen

Everyone stop what you're doing and think about women

oh and that gap in my resume is when i was digging my own grave

the dirt under my nails is - yeah. it won't wash out. although that's actually from when i dug myself out again. i suppose success and defeat can look the same in a mirror.

Scully's "he's an idiot but he is MY idiot" face, a moodboard:

feel free to add your own favourite examples!

Also this one:

FYI Ben is gender fluid and uses they/them pronouns. Their tiktok is a delight!

I mean.....

And then the search function doesn't work

AND THEN THE SEACH FUNCTION DOESN’T WORK

"I am the library of Alexandria that never burns" screams @theshitpostcalligrapher

lmao on it

I've just been made aware of this post and the fact my tweet on twitter about tags on Tumblr has breached containment back onto Tumblr is the funniest shit

The Australian state of Tasmania is being held hostage and terrorized by a single elephant seal and this has been going on for more than a month now.

He’s just a baby. He’s not even two years old. But he weighs over 1,000 pounds and refuses to go back in the sea even though he’s done molting. His hobbies include blocking roadways, sleeping in front of cars, purposefully knocking over signposts, playing with traffic cones and barking at people.

we are not being held hostage by neil. we love him.

is he behind you as you type that

you're laughing. neil is blocking the cars of people desperate to see the aurora and you're laughing.

Bilbo barely passed Old Took's record lifespan after having a supernaturally-life-extending ring for 60 years. which begs a question. what the hell did Old Took do

I have a theory that somewhere back up the line gandalf fucked a took. This sounds like complete crack but hear me out. The tooks are rumored to have “fairy blood” which in LOTR terms means either elves or maia. There is an ancestor who’s unusually tall and many of them are noted to live unusually long lives unless they meet with illness or injury, same as the numenorians did. They don’t hve extra pointy ears and elves don’t have a special interest in the line. But who DOES have a special interest in looking after tooks (and bilbo who is a took on his mother’s side/his adopted son frodo)? Gandalf. That dude is ALWAYS fussing over some silly little guy. He regularly brought the old took birthday presents.

Back in the day some bold hobbitess decided to climb that old man and ever since then gandalf has been looking after his line of tiny crazy bastards and no one will convince me otherwise.

“phones are disrupting natural sleep cycles” I mean true but also bold of you to assume I had one before the tech boom lol catch me out here reading chapter books by the light of my light up pens in the third grade

happy Mother’s Day to these two queens

Do you know this queer character?

Castiel is Queer and Agender or Genderfluid, and uses varying pronouns based on presentation!

UNDER THE BRIDGE 1.03 | Blood Oath

Hannibal, 2014, dir. David Slade

6x20 “The Man Who Would Be King” // …spark of genius, ad for a redacted chemical company (1953)

[part 21/?]

With the Reddit 3rd party app crackdown and the ongoing horseshit Elon Musk is pulling with "X", I realize a lot of people here might be pretty new. So I put together a quick and easy guide for using Tumblr for anyone new who might need it.

*choking gurgling blood dripping from my nose choking and gurlging on the blood pouring out of my nose*

Reviews are in! Reviews are glowingly positive! Reviews are glowing like the cloud we All Hail.