Hello Its Moon

Saw this license plate today and I'm still ugly laughing about it

Level 1: But is it canon?

Level 2: I can fix the canon.

Level 3: I can make the canon worse.

Level 4: I can fill the canon with small, brightly coloured frogs.

OK what now

@markscherz

bulbed saurs

this is so fucking funny

nasa: we're going to shoot three rockets directly at the sun during the total eclipse. for study and research purposes.

me: oh cool

nasa: we have named the rockets apep. this stands for atmospheric perturbations [in the] eclipse path.

me: oh cool

nasa: apep is also the ancient egyptian deity of chaos and darkness, who ceaselessly seeks to extinguish the sun. we launch these rockets directly at the sun in the name of apep.

me: oh... cool?

Hi real quick does anyone have the cat gif that goes like this

Found and saved one from this very hellsite:

I just found out the offspring of a goat and sheep is called a GEEP and they’re the cutest lil shits ever I want 200 of them

A baby

VS an adult

Coool as fuck they have two sets of horns

Goats are associated with Satan and lambs are associated with God.

We have created the official half demon/angel and I’m very pleased

purgoatory

I guess that’s what Dubwool is?

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.

Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.

Apparently she tried to call her dad but it was 3am and he was obviously sleeping so she called my husband and he not only came to find her but fished her glasses out of the hood of the car (she’d dropped them while looking inside), drove her to the hospital, and told her to take the day off. She insisted on coming back to work so he used his lunch break to watch TV with her to make sure she didn’t doze off (concussion risk).

You’ve heard of the Mom friend but my husband is very much the Dad friend. He said when he answered the phone she said “hey please don’t be mad” and he’s never felt such powerful Fatherhood energy in his life.

Girl: *calls for aid*

Every single dad packed into the car:

This is possibly my favorite response to this post

This girls father: Thanks for helping my daughter out guys

Your husband and all his coworkers:

The "fuck everyone and fuck helping the needy and vulnerable and actually fuck caring about other people" mindset is not natural to us as a species no matter what people say to justify their own callousness and apathy.

I mean that about sums it up

He pretzel

I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.

- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️

cats are so very unclear on what is wrong with us but they want to help

similar instance when my dad came back from his kidney transplant and one of our cats are trying to lick the iodine off his fistula access and then laying on the exact spot where the new kidney is where all the fresh new nerves and such lighting up like Christmas when this cat is putting all of her 8 pounds in her little paws on a very fresh new incision on the body

Vampire amoeba

I looked at the reblogs and died laughing

Schlorp

“Pretending to fall asleep to see what she would do”

(via)

yo…. when jet breaks in the tea shop and accuses zuko and iroh of beinh firebenders….

do you think any of the patrons looked at zukos scarred face - obviously done by a firebender - and immediately think jet was an asshole? like

jet: hes a firebender!!!!

patrons, thinking about the backstory they concocted for zuko and iroh where their home was invaded by firebenders and they barely survived with their lifes so they could come and have a peaceful life selling tea in a city the war doesnt touch:

Jet: He’s a firebender!

The Patrons to the Tea Shop internally: You fucking stupid, sir? I think you might be stupid.

THE TAGS

#if someone shouted something racialized at a food service worker and he pulled swords#if be like ‘yeah that’s fair’

Can you watch this freaking thing for me

the upside of ADHD is that it makes you a fucking genius

the downside is that you don't get to decide when and for how long you're a genius.

Or what you are going to be a genius about.

You have a big work project?

Nah. You're now a genius at making boardgames. For 7 hours.