Is that mine?
summary: you mistake Steve’s sweatshirt for Bucky’s and the team is stunned by his reaction.
A/N: sorry for any mistakes and I hope you all think this one is cute!
You and Steve were close from the get go. He was the first person you met when Fury welcomed you to the Avengers. Tony gave you the floor beneath Steve’s when you first came since he knew how comfortable you were with him.
You had abilities similar to Natasha in the way that you moved quick, efficiently and quietly. You were agile and cautious when fighting but also moved with such grace and strength that you could take on multiple guys at once despite your petite figure. From your physical appearance, one might think that you’re a nurse and take care of people-when in reality, you’ve been an assassin for most of your life and worked to end lives instead of save them.
Even though you thought you were off the grid and worked like a ghost, Phil Coulson had somehow still found you hence why one morning he was knocking on your door and recruiting you to work with SHIELD and the Avengers.
“No thank you.” You had said and tried slamming the door in his face after you recovered from your initial shock at being discovered by him and Nick Fury. But Phil’s hand was quick and stopped the door from shutting back into it’s place in the door frame and welcomed himself inside.
You turned around to him with annoyance evident in your eyes and was only met with a glint of determination in his and a hopeful smile that rested easily on his face. You were shocked that a guy who knew what you did with your spare time wasn’t afraid to be in the same room as you. You intimidated people with a mear glance their way.
“I don’t remember inviting you in.”
“You didn’t.” He gave you a smug smile and walked in your direction through your tiny living quarters. “But I believe we could make an exchange if you just hear me out.”
You rolled your eyes. “I don’t want to hear you out. I’m not interested in your little team of miss fits who destroy things when they think they’re doing good.”
He looked taken aback. “Look. I’m going to be honest with you here. No, SHIELD is not perfect, but we have same intentions that you do.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” You asked disbelievingly with a small chuckle as your crossed your arms over your chest.
Instead of answering your question, he looked you over as if he was an x-ray scanning over someone for injuries of damage. You stare became hard and the tension in the room became palpable. It went from something that seemed like it was going to be a lighthearted and persuasive debate about you joining his team to him trying to figure you out and you not liking it.
You-like many assassins/superheroes-had an incredibly horrific past and backstory to how you got started on this path of cold killing. You hated thinking about it. About the time you and your family were sitting at the beach on a sunny Tuesday afternoon in summer. Both your parents had that day off and you and your siblings had to school. You were only fifteen years old. Your younger brother was nine, and your one older brother and one older sister were both seventeen. It was supposed to be a nice day relaxing in the cool waters and making sand castles with the damp sand on shoreline of the beach.
The other families around you had the same thoughts. “This is a nice day to go to the beach” or “let’s have a family day.” It was nice outside so of course there was a lot of people there. Maybe that’s why they picked that day to do it.
One minute your older brother was helping you build your sand castle and the next a gunshot rang out and his body went limp beside you. Instant chaos ensued the beach as people ran away to try and find safety from the shooters. But, you were glued to your spot. Looking at the sight before you that was your dead older brother with blood still rushing out of the hole in his head.
You finally tore your eyes away from his dead body only to meet the sight of your sisters lifeless eyes on her beach towel a couple of feet away. A gunshot wound right through her chest. You didn’t know what to do. Two of the people who loved the most lay dead right before your young eyes, your younger brother and parents nowhere to be seen. Where they dead too?
You stood on the sand looking around at strangers running around with panicked looks in their eyes. They were calling out names of their loved ones and friends, hoping and praying for a response to know that they weren’t dead. You saw the horror-stricken looks on everyone’s faces and the tears that leaked from scared eyes down sunburned cheeks.
You didn’t know where to go, but you knew that you couldn’t stay there even if you didn’t want to leave your lifeless family. You felt selfish for running away from your siblings even if they were already dead. You felt like coward. But how else could you feel? You were a fifteen year-old girl who knew nothing about the situation of a mass shooting and had no self-defense. But you knew you had to run. You ran through the midst of everyone else’s shouting and rapid need to find somewhere safe. You called out your parents and brothers name but never got a response. Maybe it was because they had already fled the scene. Maybe it was because they couldn’t hear you over everyone else screaming and crying. Or maybe it was because they were dead too.
But you didn’t know. But you had to keep moving.
You don’t know how you made it off the beach. It felt like after hours of tripping over other people trying to find a way out, that you actually did. You were blocks away from the beach at this point. Maybe miles, you weren’t sure. You slowed down to catch your breath and that’s when the adrenaline and shock left your body. You started to cry. Tears for the lives of your family that was took. Tears for the heartbreak and hurt you and many others faced. Tears that you were alive and given a second chance but your family wasn’t.
You sobbed on the sidewalk in front of a house that belonged to someone you never met before. You crumpled to the ground and wrenched out your shattering and heartbreaking cries of the moments you just experienced. The horrors you just witnessed were sure to by burned into the back of your mind for the rest of your life. The empty and colorless eyes of your brother and sister with blood rapidly staining the crystal-like sand beneath them were to plague your nightmares for years to come and maybe for the rest of your life ahead of you.
After that terrible day at the beach, after you officially found out you were the only survivor out of your family, you didn’t trust anyone. You lived with your aunt, uncle, and older cousin until you graduated high school. After graduation day, you packed your duffel bag with a picture of your family, your favorite articles of clothing, some food and money and took off. You went off the grid. Never spoke to any of your friends or family again. You cut off all ties to the outside world and only kept thoughts and hopes for revenge in the forefront of your mind.
You started training yourself. Went to a self-defense class and continued to teach yourself from there. You set up a target on the inside of your closet door and threw daggers at it until your aim was impeccable. You kept training and fighting. You took jobs from others for money. You did the job cleanly and quickly. It kept you on your feet and able to afford rent while also making you accomplish what you wanted to accomplish- hunt people who hunted others.
Maybe that’s why you accepted his offer to the team. You could get farther and train better with the Avengers. That’s why the next day you were introduced to Nick Fury and Maria Hill before officially meeting the team.
It’s been a little over a year and a half since that day you met the world famous Avengers. They weren’t as bad as you thought. You and Natasha got along nicely. You both trained well together because you had skill sets that were practically the same. You were closest with Steve though, maybe because he went through losing loved ones as often as you did. His mom and dad and his best friend, although Bucky was with the Avengers again.
You and Steve were inseperable (except for the times you were with Natasha). You helped him catch up with new technology, bands, movies, books and everything. He continued to teach you how to fight better and improve.
Since meeting these people, you truly felt happier. It took you a while to adjust and feel more at ease. It took you time to trust them. It didn’t come without it’s hardships though. You were always on edge and scanned a room before you walked into it making sure that it was clear of danger. You never started any conversations with members of the team and you tried to sit alone whenever you could.
Most movie nights you didn’t come to. You stowed away into your room and just thought about how different your life could’ve been. You thought about how if you never went to the beach that day, you could be happily married with kids right now. You could be over at your parents house every holiday with your siblings and their families. But you aren’t. You’re going on missions to stop people from doing bad things and your stopping bad groups of people from taking over the world and killing off half the planet.
On those nights that you didn’t go watch a movie in the living room with your new family, the one person who understood you a little, would come up and check on you. He would keep you company. Steve. He told you stories about the war. About how small he used to be. About Peggy and Bucky. It made you feel at ease and you trusted him sooner than you did anybody else. But after you found trust and a friendship in Steve, it came quickly and naturally for the rest of the team as well.
Now you go to every movie night, talk to all the members and take part in whatever you can.
You keep Tony company in his lab whenever he’s working on his suit. Occasionally, he’ll let you help out and teach you a few things a long the way. This new family has helped you be yourself again. They gave you something worth fighting for. Only, this time it’s not about fighting other people- they gave you something that makes you want to keep fighting to do better. You’ve learned a lot from these people and even though at the beginning, you thought they were people from screwed up backgrounds who go around destroying cities and lives when they thought they were helping and saving people- but you were so wrong. You see that now. They abandoned their own lives, to help others.
You became close to all of your teammates and they got close to you as well. You lived your everyday life with them, and there was never a dull moment. You’re favorite was when Clint jumped down through the vents in Steve’s face and covered him in silly string and shaving cream, while blowing an airhorn through the tower and took off running. You and everyone else in the room (besides Steve) doubled over in laughter at the sight of Steve covered in white foam and colorful string with a dumbfounded look on his face. Even Bucky laughed. The Bucky that you had never heard laugh before. You liked his laugh.
You didn’t really know him despite the fact that you have been living with him for a few months now. He was closed off and really only talked to Steve, and every once in a while Natasha. You knew a little bit about his past and why he was like that. You knew he didn’t trust himself because of being brainwashed by HYDRA into a mindless killing machine. You knew he regreted what he did everyday- even if he didn’t have control over his actions at the time. You felt bad for him. You didn’t know how it must’ve felt to go through that for years upon years. He didn’t smile or laugh. Ever. So, when you heard him let out a chuckle at the sight of his longtime best friend, you immediately stopped your laughing and looked over at him with an incredulous look of awe on your face.
His perfect brown hair was pulled into a bun at the back of his head. His beautiful eyes were sparkling unlike their usual tone of grayness to them. His shiny, white teeth were perfect. It looked like he used to wear braces when he was younger, but in reality- he was just born with perfect teeth. He had brown stubble that covered his chin and adorned his jawline making him look all the more perfect. You were in awe of his beauty when he was happy.
As soon as he realized what was happening though, he stopped laughing and wiped the smile off of his face and replaced it with his usual stone cold appearance.
He looked over at you as soon as he felt your eyes on him and gave you a hard glare as if he was mad at you for seeing him something other than miserable. You stared back at him until he walked out of the room. Nobody else really seemed to notice because the small exchange between the two of you (if you could even call it an exchange) was over in a matter of two seconds.
Your eyes followed him as he left the room. You wanted to see him smile again. Wanted to hear his laughter. You wondered why he didn’t want you to seem him have a good time.
It’s been a couple of weeks since that moment and you still have yet to see Bucky’s hard exterior crack another smile.
You and the team had just landed from a tough mission. It was another HYDRA base, but this time they had more soldiers there than the team had initially thought. There was only supposed to be about a dozen or so of them, but actually, there was three times as many. It was hard to get in and out and collect the information you needed when HYDRA guards constantly swarmed the base. You and Natasha were supposed to get in, grab as much information as you could and get out before blowing the building and everyone inside it to pieces.
Everyone else was supposed to fight the soldiers and help us get in. We weren’t supposed to even have to fight at all this time around, but we both ended up getting dozens of minor and some more serious injuries from being attacked while gathering the information.
Everyone else had cuts and bruises on them here and there throughout their bodies but you and Natasha had that plus a couple of sprains and bruised and broken ribs that resulted from a grenade being thrown at you. You were both able to shield yourselves for the most part, but the impact from debris came crashing into you both and also the contact with the hard floor wasn’t the most pleasurable you’ve felt in your life.
But you were finally back and after getting bandaged up and some medicine, you were able to finally relax. You went to the living room, that was now empty from the other Avengers hiding out in their rooms for the night. You grabbed a sweatshirt off the back of the couch and threw it on, figuring it was Steve’s. You had a habit of taking his clothes and wearing them. It made you feel protected and it reminded you of the feeling of your older brother’s clothes on you when you were younger.
You went to sit on the couch and threw on a TV show. You were maybe up for a couple of minutes before you crashed on the couch and fell asleep there for the night.
The next morning, when the Avengers came down for breakfast, they saw your resting form on the couch and were quiet so you could continue sleeping peacefully. They knew you suffered from nightmares and they often consisted of your struggles with your past. It wasn’t often you got a nights sleep without waking up in a cold sweat and screaming. So, on the nights you did get decent sleep, they let you be.
It was when Bucky came down for breakfast that the Avengers were thrown off guard. He walked through the entrance into the large kitchen and living room area and stopped when he saw your frame sprawled out across the couch. He looked like he was caught off guard.
“Bucky?” Steve asked while looking at his old friend with a hint of concern in his eyes. “Everything alright?”
He just kept staring at you sleeping. The rest of the team furrowed their eyebrows in concentration trying to figure out what Bucky was getting at. It wasn’t until he pointed his hand towards you and asked, “Is that mine?”
Steve got up from his chair at the table and walked over to you to see what Bucky was talking about. You. You were wearing Bucky’s sweatshirt. Steve let out a soft laugh and put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder.
“She was tired and exhausted from being beat up yesterday. She usually wears my clothes and stuff and she probably thought that sweatshirt was mine.”
“Oh.” Bucky was still looking at you. “Why does she wear your clothes?”
“Because she said they remind her of the feel of her brother.” Steve said, recalling the story you told him about your past.
Bucky didn’t know your backstory, but he could figure out that something bad probably happened to your brother.
Steve continued,”She said her brother used to let her wear his clothes when she needed to feel protected and safe when he wasn’t there.”
Bucky smiled a little at the fact that you felt protected when wearing large clothing. It made him happy knowing that he could give you a little comfort even if it was just his clothes and you thought they were Steve’s.
Steve saw the hint of a smile on Bucky’s face and was shocked that he was okay with it or not saying something along the lines of, “Can you wake her up and give me my sweatshirt back?”
The rest of the team seemed shocked as well. They were expecting him to start complaining about her stealing his stuff because the whole team new about how Bucky didn’t really like the share things.
“Do you want me to get your sweatshirt back for you?” Steve asked his friend.
“What?” Bucky asked coming out of a trance from staring at you. He thought you were beautiful and looked adorable in his clothing. “No, no, no. It’s okay. I can get it back later.”
Steve and the rest of the team had smug smiles on their faces at seeing Bucky smile at you and for him sharing something with you.
Maybe Bucky would come out of his shell at some point.
