why is hideki naganuma insane. who is teaching a middle aged japanese man to say shit like this

Here’s the explanation:

he's FIFTY ONE YEARS OF AGE

fun fact about aging: you don’t perceive yourself as being older but you perceive young people as being younger. today I was in a zoom meeting with a bunch of young men and I kept thinking ‘who put beards on these children’.

Correct. High school kids are WAY younger than I was when I was in high school. So are college kids. When I was in high school and college we were full grown adults. But now that I’m almost 40 the high school and college age kids are actually babies. It’s crazy how that happens. 

I remember when I was in middle school I would hear my dad calling college students and 20-something employees “kid,” as in “oh yeah this kid that just started in marketing is really talented,” or “the Johnsons’ son is a really nice kid” talking about like a 22-year-old and at the time I was like “what haha those aren’t kids those are clearly adults”

And now I’m a 24-year-old who sees my 18-year-old coworker as a baby and I’m like ah. I think I am coming to an understanding.

Everyone on planet earth currently is the oldest and most mature that they’ve ever been. And they always will be.

My residents at the retirement home regularly refer to 60 year olds as kids. Because those people are the same age as their kids. This is not something humanity ever grows out of and it’s honestly kind of cute.

Don’t buy other stuff

i read this to adam and he just yelled, outraged, "THEYRE BABIES"

TRUE HATERS, SINCE DAY 1 THEY HAVENT BEEN GIVING THEM A FUCKING INCH

this is next level

20 years later. you're kermit. opening night at the muppet theater. you look up. you can't believe it. those two awful cunts from next door are here. neither of them died yet. they're going to be here, forever.

You start a Gopatronize.me fund to support the theatre, and surprisingly it works. Then you receive a community arts grant. Muppet Theatre is now Muppet TV, your very own streaming channel. It takes month of preparation, stress, work, and tears, but you finally go live.

The first comments come in literally seconds after you launch.

Its them. They're still alive.

And they're still funnier than any of your acts.

And they have premium membership and early supporter badges on their usernames.

So the hunt is on.

Now will the people in my inbox STOP ASKING ABOUT CHAT GETTING AN UPGRADE?!

Ko-fi | Patreon

During my first staff lunch at the library, everyone got pickle spears with their sandwiches. One of the children’s librarians didn’t want hers, so I took it. And then someone else said “I don’t want mine either” and I said “gimme.” I ended up eating the equivalent of three whole pickles that day and every staff lunch after that, everyone saved me their pickles.

I am pickle queen.

What I love about this is that the results are almost 50/50. The pickle takers (of which I am also one) are matched by the pickle givers. A truly balanced social dynamic.

Bye Sweet Carole is a hand-animated horror game inspired by classic Disney movies.

Wishlist Bye Sweet Carole on Steam

A museum demonstrating what happens when you let visitors touch marble | source

As protests start ramping up and violence escalates please remember:

DO NOT PUT MILK IN YOUR EYES FOR PEPPER SPRAY OR TEAR GAS.

It can and will cause infection due to bacteria. Flush with water, distilled if possible, and never EVER wear contact lenses to protests where there may be police retaliation.

Please reblog. It may save someone's sight.

My friend’s little brother (non-verbal) used to hide people’s shoes if he liked the person, because it meant they had to stay longer. The more difficult it was to find your shoes, the more he liked you.

One day my cousin came over, and she was a bitch. When it was time to leave, my friend’s brother handed her shoes directly to her and she went on and on about how he must have a crush on her because he only “helped” her.

I know this isn't ninjago guys but I finished this 17 hour painting for my art class and I was proud of it so...enjoy.

I love Egypt fun fact about me. :)

A PAINTING????

obligatory

SCROLL BACK IT'S ART

DC X DP PROMPT #13

The world was officially ending. There wasn't much they could do. The Justice League had fought valiantly against the invading force, but they stood no chance. Their king was dying at the hands of these mortal fools and they would have their retribution.

Bruce couldn't find his kids, he couldn't find anyone really. Deep down he knew he was the last one standing, but that thought had yet to catch up with him. Bright swirling green caught his eye through the thick smog of death. A lone figure stepped out, glowing a bright blue with staff in hand.

His name was Clockwork, and he had an ultimatum. He would reverse the timeline, even tweak it a little, if only to take on one extra child and prevent this whole war before it could even begin. Through all of Bruce's contingencies, this was not one of them.

Bruce is now sent back, way back in time where he gets a second chance at his family. The small tweaks Clockwork spoke of? He gets to have his kids as babies.

In which Bruce is a single mom who works two jobs, who loves his kids and never stops

If this is far enough in the past, some of the previous/yet-to-be Justice League and Teen Titans members are kids now too. There’s gonna be a lot of

“maybe I can get my hands on Garfield Logan before he gets bitten by a green monkey and experimented on by his parents”

“If Diana hasn’t left Themescrya yet, maybe I can send a calling card and start peace treaty talks early”

“Covertly bring up the ‘clones are people too’ and ‘what someone does while mind controlled isn’t their fault’ to Clark maybe we can skip that rough patch with Connor and give the kid a better childhood”

“Crap the Flash just timetraveled back to Now how am I supposed to explain this”

Barry just wants to know why wally is chibi now. Congrats Bar, you and Iris have a baby nephew to raise! Make sure to drop by the manor sometimes so he and dick can have play dates!

Oh my goodness Bruce is gonna be running around making sure that all of the former junior heroes/sidekicks/ect have good parents/guardians. So many other JL members are gonna have babies all of a sudden.

They're going to have to open a daycare for baby superheroes at this rate!

Just imagine Bruce trying to set up play dates with all his kids friends. Having Barry bring over Wally and Bart and putting Wally with Dick and Bart with Tim. And making sure that Clark brings Conner over and Diana (or just Cassie Sandsmark's mom) brings over Cassie.

Does he go to Tameran to get Kori?

So many heroes are going to have multiple babies, and be so confused why Bruce has them bring them over to play with his babies and separates them into groups. Yes it's very important that Dick, Wally, Roy, Garth, and Donna play together.

"No we can't just mix it up Clark one of your kids plays with Damian and the other plays with Tim. No don't do it at random! Tim with Jon and Damian with Conner doesn't make sense! I don't care that they're all the same age! We aren't separating the Super Sons or the Core 4!" Clark wonders when and why Bruce named the play groups. And why Damian's group is just him and Jon. Oh look, a random baby that Bruce claims to be Damian's cousin. And a few other miscellaneous children including-is that a random orphan from an orphanage in Gotham?! What do you mean that's Damian's friend Colin? Why is your son friends with a random baby from the orphanage? Oh OK you're adopting that one too... why are you like this?

Alfred has all the grand babies and none of the daughter in law. Why must his son do these things in reverse. Go out there and find these kids a mother figure already! Or already another dad. Come on all of these children and you're still single, surely someone will find the single dad thing attractive enough to make him not a single dad anymore and give them a hand with these babies that Alfred swears are multiplying when he isn't looking. (Bruce keeps finding more baby heroes to adopt) (plus clockwork takes danny for a few hours sometimes)

Clark also brings home the wrong blue eyed black haired infant(s) sometimes. Lois is not amused when he hands her Dick instead of Jon. And wait that's not Conner either! Why do you have Donna?! Clark now we have to call Bruce AND Diana! Who nows if Diana has already gone back to themiscira by now! She's going to get there and realize she has Conner and not Donna! (She does not, in fact, have Conner, instead she has Cissie and Tim) (Oliver wonders why baby Cissie is a little stronger than normal)

On a complete unrelated note, Commisoner Gordon got brought Barbara home from her play date only to realize that he left with a red headed girl and came home with a red headed boy. He's not sure if this is just a weird Gotham genderbend thing or if he took home the wrong kid; in Central city, Barry worries that his nephew is broken because he isn't a speedster, he hasn't noticed that said nephew is actually a girl and definitely not related to him or Iris.

The Healer pt 3

The story continues! Hope you guys like it!

Part 1 and 2 linked here.

Enjoy!

_____________________________

The Hero’s party stood with their backs to us, arguing loudly. They obviously didn’t hear Stephanie’s call, and kept their focus on the man in front of them.

“How dare you go back on our deal?!” Jack the Hero snapped, his face twisted with rage. “You have always been our chief supplier!”

Rita the Holy Archer spoke up, flipping her long blond hair over her shoulder as she did so. “Yeah, you never turned us down before!”

The massive and imposing form of Garrett the Giant loomed over the group as he stood by with his arms crossed, nodding in agreement. The fourth and final member, Rebecca the Sorceress, leaned against the Hero, her eyes filled with tears as if everyone in the room had personally wronged her.

Seeing the group together again was… rough, to say the least. I had once considered three of them, Jack, Rita and Garrett,  my closest friends. We had played the game together before the Downfall, spending late nights going on raids and completing quests. They had been the brightest part of a life that had been greatly overshadowed by my parents’ expectations and disapproval. I had valued their friendship, so much so that I was willing to break myself over and over again just to stay by their side. I had lied to myself, that I was just as much a part of the team as they were. That I was valued, even if they didn’t always say so. That I was lucky to have them, given that I had chosen the class I did. I hated myself for my weakness, but refused to leave, too dependent on them to try to break off on my own.   

Until Jack finally betrayed me enough to wake me up to the truth:

They had never been my friends.  

As for Rebecca… my gaze settled on the pitifully crying girl. She was crying when I met her, too.