i am always kidding but i am also always serious. do not underestimate me

*something goes wrong*

my inner self: *rides my horse into the woods and cries under a willow tree*

I have been quoting this tiktok for the past two weeks.

This bitch had like 5 accents

transcription:  “you’re a nice guy. (shifts to singsongy british accent) i’ll think about it maybe xo baybeoi uh oh eehjfgoi SHEND HIM KISSHEOIS. i didn’t know i would moive in with his missusWOOOOOT GET A LOIFE WE’RE LIVIN WITH HIS WOIFE like.. (disturbingly serene) what was i meant to do…? ehehehe. (sudden american accent) oh bitch oi seemBUHHURH BREAST KILLA?? mm. HEHEHEHEHEHE (back to british accent) she doied. that’s what she desehves. (sudden new yorker accent) this stoopid princess bitch has been fuckin goin against me since i downloaded this goddamn app. she’s like (peppa pig again) oih you’re heare? no problemm. an- oo OO OOOHOHOHOHOOO OHOHOHOHO HOHOHOWAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ….oh i was first heh!”

little baby… i’m taking u home with me

VIDEO SOURCE

(Turn on the sound!!)

moo

@dykemariah

@allfrogsarefriends

lol

how long before mitch mcconnell and pence just start puppeting him around like weekend at bernie's

wish i didn’t have neighbors so I could lay outside on the grass with my titties out like god intended

White people be like "white people be like" but they the white people that be like

idk why old navy is literally always ahead of the game in terms of uncanny valley + retail horror

Free them

Judgement:

do not free them.

YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE FREED THEM

^

Judgement

crop circles

the corn just did that

my friends cat loves attacking xmas trees but hates plastic bags

the narrative tension in this picture is outrageous

c i a o ! !

The clover has finally grown enough for her to munch on again

absolute decadence

Imagine a kindly giant of unknown species and origin just picking you up and carefully placing you in a pile of chicken nuggets

Cats look if you touch them

they look at you