For he said 'I am your god now.' He gave me a taste of his unholy communion. By now I knew it was blood, but it was like wine to my blaspheming tongue and loins. His forceful hands did not bless me, but contorted my body to prayer all the same. He would pierce me as deeply as the Holy Spirit and made me utter words in tongues I did not speak. And after this crucifixion and I was certain I could bear no more, his unholy communion would resurrect me and reanimate my body to do what he chose me for. And after many deaths, he left me hollow as a false prophet's convictions and again and again I found myself sobbing in the bed's linen folds, wishing it to be Mother Mary's lap. And I would beg my first God for forgiveness, for the sin soiled me so deeply, the tar blocked my prayers from reaching heaven. Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned. Forgive me Lord, for I am Judas. I am filthy and I am filth. For he said 'I am your god now.'