when i say my gender changes to the tune of the bit i mean a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and if he can’t then god forbid women do anything

jokerkind specibus ass

But you still recognized that as a Homestuck reference.

What were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament?

i googled the words & got results from the homestuck wiki. that’s not attending the devil’s sacrament that’s investigating suspicious noises in the woods by lanternlight

This is the kind of messaging you really want to be seeing from the global hegemon

linking it directly because, yeah, this is real.

They actually said "retaliate" huh.

made me think of some of you <3

Please call this recession the Trump Slump.

We need to put Trump's name on this.

if ever anything I wrote were to ever go viral, let it be this. Let everyone talk about the Trump Slump. I want to hear this term in the news.

If it keeps you from killing yourself it's not stupid. This applies to anything btw.

Bestie. How dare you leave “do not mock the life preserver…” in the tags.

@onewingedsparrow

Taylor Tomlinson, Look At You (2022) Netflix special

Okay okay okay so I’m changing like every recognizable detail of this for privacy purposes but yall need to appreciate this

So I know how to retain CCTV footage, right? It doesn’t come up everywhere but I know my way around- and if someone gets jumped in a parking lot or whatever I can go backwards and see whodunnit

So I’m at this one place, right? And I get a call that an older woman in a wheelchair got hurt somehow and we need to see what happened.

Nobody remembers the exact time, because of course not, but they tell me she was wearing like a massive hot pink jacket and she’s in a wheelchair and she left with a medic round 09:45ish, so I figure I’ll start there.

So I find the incident itself no problem, but they need ALL footage for liability and insurance and stuff, so I have to keep going

And about ten minutes backwards, I lose her. She comes into view past a single shelf on one of the worse cameras and vanishes.

like. VANISHES. Hot pink jacket, big bulky black chair, gonzo. No idea where she came from.

So, I pull up entry cams. Zoom backwards till I see her come in… at like 06:15.

THREE AND A HALF HOURS EARLIER.

So first off, this is gonna take me like two hours minimum to write down, forget retention. And I’m kind of dying in my soul a bit but I start over there, watching her come in and meander and whatever.

At about 08:30ish she disappears.

Doesn’t leave. Doesn’t head to a bathroom. Doesn’t take her coat off. Her trail just stops.

Now, I’ve done this before. Typically, a location only has the mandatory minimum amount of room for a chair or walker to get around, so a person using one can only go forwards and it’s hard to 180. That limits options and makes it easier to follow, whereas a little unattended and fully mobile kid will zoom around in circles and shit and go who the hell knows where.

Then I see her again on the other ass end of the building, and I have to go back again to see how she GOT there.

My guys.

Her two and three-point turns are INCREDIBLE.

She’s popping on the wheels, flip, zoom, she’s out somewhere I didn’t think she could even GET to. I’ve been planning my search for places that fit a wheelchair or least-resistance fast-paths from A to B and she’s like… doing some Tokyo Drift shit.

I don’t know WHY. The whole place is basically completely accessible so long as you put up with having to reverse, but no. No, she goes where she wants.

I’ve been at this for half the day, and I still have no idea where she went for like an hour and a half.

Fuck me, I’m taking a lunch break

This is barely an exaggeration

I am obsessed with this botched restoration of a 19th century statue of saint anthony

Look at how yassified he is

St Cunthony of Servington

i love antique stores you go to check out & theyre like “where the hell did you get this”

But there’s also the curses

I've been looking through the tags and I'm cracking up.

Common themes:

-antique store worker confirming they REALLY don't know how something got there

-other retail employee (especially Barnes and Noble????) saying this isn't antique store specific

-guy who is definitely going to have to call a priest

-tales of excellent thrifting experiences that I'm going to share in this and subsequent reblogs

I’ll begin this post by saying I do not support bullfighting in the slightest, but im doing research for a project and wHat in the absolute hell compelled them to go this fucking hard on the outfits?!!

Like who’s executive decision was it to really round out that matador ass with high waisted, gorgeous, meticulously bedazzled and patterned fabrics¿¿¿

such a cruel sport does not deserve this level of fashion

Is bein’ thic a requirement? Im???

Like godDAMN?!  I just wanna know what the thought process was here? “at least when I finally get impailed by a bull, my sparkling glutes will shimmer and shine in the sunlight”?????????

But wait! There's more!

The detail on these outfits are usually handstitched with steel thread. These aren't just beautiful details. They're ridiculously and deceptively heavy pieces of armor.

More armour should be this cool. Honestly a bullfighter could 100% Get It.

Ploop ploop ploop

i know this is a predator. like a hardened killing machine. tempered by hundreds of years of evolutionary prowess to fine tune him into a living weapon. but ohhhh the little BABYYY look at the Little Bouncing Baby he is going Boing Boing Boing oh my gooddddd

“you’d fumble some girl asking for your star sign by going Um akshually it’s pseudoscience ☝️🤓” she’d fumble me by believing in astrology ngl

Nothing on tiktok is this funny

slapping this badge on my blog

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