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*Confused Pansexual noise*

@fannifriend / fannifriend.tumblr.com

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Humans have finally managed to land on Mars, only to find a locked safe buried in the Martian soil. The key is apparently on Earth, but no one knows where.

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aurora31127

The galactic council watched on to see how humanity would handle the task, much as they had with several species before. What the test was supposed to show was whether or not a species of violent nature could ever be brought to work together. They finally picked something up, another ship already headed to Mars? Was it possible humans were that clever to have found the key, maybe it was more specialists and equipment to analyze the locked crate to ensure it was safe to open. A few minutes after landing, they got another broadcast from the red planet.

“This is the LockPickingLawyer and today I’ve got something quite special, this locked alien chest. First of all I have to thank everyone who recommended me for the job, I’m honored that you all thought of me. Now let’s get to work”

The council representatives were confused as they started analyzing the translation, before even getting through the name he spoke something haunting

“Normally I don’t say things like this but this lock is quite unique, however with no security pins it will still be quite quick.”

“There we go, a click on 3… “

All the species of the galactic council sat dumbfounded, they spent many galactic cycles refining and perfecting their study and in all their time not a singular race had tried this method. Click after click, even in such an intricate lock the human had only spent around five minutes tampering with it.

“There we go, now while I can’t open this as part of my video I can say that I at least have a clue what the key should look like in case it ever gets locked again. I admire the design choices and the fact that at least it was harder to get open than anything Master Lock has made”

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dawen

we are the “oh, I know a guy” teamwork species

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reblogged
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k-eke

When cats yawns they look terrifying, I love it.

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We'll make it through as a CREW! 🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️

My Crew of The Revenge piece is now available as an 11x17 print! 💖 You can check out the fabulous booty I'm hawkin' on my Etsy! Link in my bio 🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️

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reblogged
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seafangss
Hannibal: *is dying on floor*
Will: *while sipping wine* whore-
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Thinking about the Ancient Egyptians who would take their baboon to market, so the baboon could test the fruit to make sure it was ripe and maybe attack other patrons

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rudjedet

basket: woven figs: out baboon: on the loose

I am forcibly removed from the market place

It's funny because the market guards would also have baboons and would just sic them on anyone they thought was stealing. So the sentence 'mauled by baboons at the local market for looking at a lettuce suspiciously' is entirely in line with reality.

GET 'IM BOYS

i apologize for nothing

Do not even attempt to apologise; this is really fucking funny

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biomic

saru brother

OK but aside from the funny, this is the gorilla doing its best to correct a gorilla faux pas! Gorillas don’t make eye contact except as a challenge. They avoid looking at each other directly as much as possible. So this fella just accidentally slid forward and looked the human right in the eye and went “oooooops” and turned FULLY around to go “I have no quarrel with you!”

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