Hello!

John “Soap” Mactavish WOULD PUT YOU IN A CHOKEHOLD!! you cannot tell me he wouldn’t keep your face squished between his arm as he rams into you :( rambling into your back with words you cant even begin to comprehend while it feels like your brain is melting.

Leaves you absolutely stupid, drooling and crying, having to breathe shallowly and letting out breathy whines and moans. He would laugh and taunt you and kiss your squished cheek while going to town on you :(

and afterwards he would cuddle you and kiss you and say sweet nothings to you and everything. trust like he told me himself thats what would happen we did a practice run and everything (lemme know if u want a more properly fleshed out fic from this u guys)

Is this meme dead?

"shh I know, I know baby" simon talking you through your 3rd orgasm by just getting fingered by his large fingers. His fingers hitting the same gummy, gushy spot over and over again. Your face heated because you're getting fussy over the fact he hasn't stuck his cock in yet:(

annoyed Roach (i tried)

CAPTAIN SAYS YEET

Roach:"OH MY GOD HOW CAN YOU SAY PREDATOR IS BETTER THEN ALIEN??? THAT MOVIE IS JUST A BUNCH OF DUMBASSES IN CAMO!"

Ghost:"YOU'RE A DUMBASS IN CAMO!"

They are waiting for Price and Gaz to get back 🥺✨️

Soap: "Why did I find my boyfriend in the trunk of the car with a traumatic head wound?'

Price, who forgot he was in their: "shit...."

Gaz, who forgot he was in their:"fuck..."

Soap:"you have three seconds to start running and if I catch you imma beat the shit out of you."

Price:"I'm your Captain you can't threaten me."

Soap:"3...2.."

Price:"IT WAS KYLE'S FAULT!"

Beach day!!! ⛱️

Prices hat extends out to a sunhat trust

Kitty meow meow cat meow meow wow

Ghost, gesturing to Price: Soap, look what you did! You made Dad upset!

Y/n: dad, please don't cry!

Soap: I'm sorry, father

Gaz: we didn't mean to make you upset, dad!

Price, drunk out of his mind and near tears: I DON'T REMEMBER GIVING BIRTH TO ANY OF YOU!

My latest victim was @azilver

@going-to-ikea-for-the-fries I told you I would do some vile things to that man that leaves him needing to put me on a watchlist and I meant it

gonna make everyone experience your genius rn

SOAP & GHOST Call of Duty: Modern Warfare III (2023)

I know "60s housewives who invented slash fanfiction" has taken on a life of its own as a phrase, but Kirk/Spock didn't really exist until the 70s and THOSE WOMEN HAD JOBS. They were teachers and librarians and bookkeepers and scientists and they damn well spent their own money going to conventions, printing zines, buying fanart and making fandom happen. Put some respect on their names.

Salute to our troops (70s careerwomen who put their hard-earned dollars into homemade gay erotica)

It was women with secretarial jobs doing a lot of the heavy lifting, if memory serves correctly.

They had training in type setting, could churn things out quickly, knew how to organise mailing lists, and had easy access to Expensive High Tech like photocopiers.

Boss make a dollar, she makes a dime. That's why she's printing Kirk X Spock zines on company time.

MDNI 18+

cw: mentions of alcohol

Captain MacTavish gets overly needy and desperate when he's had one too many whiskys.

If you're out with him at a bar or with company, he'll keep himself in check. But expect his hand to be surgically attached to your thigh the entire time. Teasingly inching forward until you swat him away with a firm 'don't even think about it' stare. He pulls back for a while. Retracing his efforts repeatedly until you finally give in and take his needy drunk ass home.

The same can not be said if you're at home with this inebriated beast.

Good luck trying to pull your way out of his grasp. Constantly pawing at your hips. Burying his face and mumbling into your neck as he lays his massive weight against you in the couch.

You remain steadfast. Stoic to his liquored induced privation for as long as you can. However, it's when he flashes you those glazed baby blues accompanied by a whimper you'd be damned came from another man that you ultimately falter.

You had to rewatch the last four episodes of the season over again the next day. Because if there's one thing Captain MacTavish does not suffer from, it's whisky dick. And his unending need to constantly feast in your cunt.

Non Oblitus.

a/n: cratur - whisky

Captain MacTavish Masterlist

stoic captain mactavish turning into a flea over brown liquor is what i need in my life