"Don't lose ya flavor, you cinnamon roll."

OH MY GOD ABDJAKJFKWL

Will u join the challenge?

is there a reason for this? like is this part of a strike or something im not aware of? 

i cannot believe im this fucking stupid 

Ralph, pick a number between 1 and 10

four of course because it’s my lucky number

Good cause that’s your IQ

happy anniversary to the post that ruined my life

I almost feel for it.

I really enjoy just existing in hotels. The long identical hallways. The soulless abstract art. The weird noises the air-conditioner makes. Strange city lights in the window. Six stories off the ground. Strangers chatting in the hall. Nothing in the dresser. No past, but an infinite present. 

Finally, Someone Understands

I just walked past a mirror and did a double take and thought "dang, I look more sophisticated and suave than my usual baseline level of -4, why do I look so elegant?" and concluded that it was because my lips looked slightly darker, like I was wearing a subtle but daring shade of mauve lipstick, which gave me an air of worldliness and fine taste, like a lady who might flirt with a detective to put him off the scent

And then I realised it was because I'd eaten so many dark chocolate truffles left over from Christmas that I'd stained my mouth

Très sophistiquée

There is elegance in decadence

GOD this comment just changed my entire life

I’ve seen this panel going around a fair bit, and each time, somebody in the notes expresses concern about whether He-Man should be holding that hand.

If you’re one of those people, allow me to assure you that there’s no cause for alarm: the hand He-Man’s holding is not the fist with which Fisto fists.

This is the fist.

If Goldilocks tried three beds, then Momma Bear and Daddy Bear slept separately. Baby Bear is probably the only thing keeping the family together.

You ain’t have to put those people business out like that.

Y’know, the story straight-up tells us why Mama Bear and Papa Bear sleep in separate beds: they have very different needs in terms of mattress firmness, and those fancy responsive mattresses that can be soft on one half and firm on the other hadn’t been invented yet. There’s no shame in valuing your spinal health.

The fact that they’re secure enough to admit that they’re better off in separate beds probably indicates that they have a very healthy relationship built on a foundation of mutual love and respect. 

their relationship was just right

So, I took my little puppies outside today for the first time and they’re so unbelievably brave while simultaneously being the biggest morons I’ve ever seen. I’ve decided to name every one of them Jaime Lannister.

Jaime Lannister #1 just ran head first into a tire, backed up, and did it again.

Jaime Lannister #4 just tried to fight my 90lb lab.

Jaime Lannister #2 been laid out in the driveway for a straight 15 minutes. Thought he might be dead. Nope. He’s alive and drunk on sunlight.

The puppy formally known as Jaime Lannister #5. She hasn’t done anything stupid so far. Just catching up on her beauty sleep.

Name changed to Brienne of Tarth.

Brienne of Tarth thinks the cat is her mother. I said “that not your moms, Bri. He’s a dude.” No reaction. Renamed Jaime Lannister #5

You are so right, friend. Brienne of Tarth reinstated.

How could I forget that doofus! So sorry #3! Jaime Lannister #3 ate a beetle after I yelled at him not to and then immediately proceeded to throw it back up. Beetle was still alive. JL #3 ate it again.

Behold, 4 dumbass Jaime Lannister’s and 1 Brienne of Tarth(middle puppy)

Update: Today, Brienne of Tarth got stuck in a hole and didn’t know how to climb her way out of it and Jaime Lannister #1, forever the knight in shining armor, jumped into the hole after her!! Now, they’re both stuck. But they’re together.

Update: They like to sleep in the ‘bear pit’ now

Update: Jaime Lannister #3 and Brienne like to sleep in the food bowl

The other Jaime Lannister’s prefer to nap on an old broom

This is the only Game of Thrones content I will allow on my blog.

Thinkin about how as kids parents told us to clean our rooms without having ever shown us how to themselves, taught us any organizational skills, spatial management, or any other knowledge necessary to know how to efficiently tackle a mess without getting overwhelmed and then got exasperated when we as ten year olds didn’t just……figure it out

This is not a dunk on my parents for the record. I had wonderful parents growing up and still have an amazing mom. I think this is just one of those smaller and common things of parenthood that I think addressing would be monumental in reducing a very common household stressor. If parents led their children in cleanups and helped them reason out plans to manage their time and stuff, especially neurodivergent kids, the entire household would be a lot more calm, streamlined, and overall happy I think!!!

I’ve got one 7 year old perfectionist (possible ADHD) and one sweet 5 year old hurricane (DEFINITE ADHD) and me (also brain full of cats, despises prolonged supervisory things). Here’s some things I’ve learned specific to that that are also generally good for teaching kids to clean. (Or yourself.)

1. If you want a kid to clean, first you have to teach them to even see mess. They don’t! But it does stress them out.

“Okay, let’s look for something out of its place. If it’s on the floor, it’s out of place. If it’s on your bed and it’s not a blanket, it’s out of place.”

2. Go by category, it’s easier to find stuff to put away if your search engine has a specific target, and it’s more satisfying and efficient to put away a big chunk of mess at once.

“Got something? Ok, are there other things like it? Let’s find all the BOOKS. I will HELP YOU.”

3. Important!! Don’t walk away from a kid with focus issues expecting them to instantly learn a task and finish it! You are setting them up to fail! The first several times you need to be there for the whole process and demonstrate by helping. That motivates them. They feel less panic that you’ll bail and they’ll be stuck alone not knowing what to do next. Narrate what you’re doing, too. Help and supervise less as they seem to need you less.

“I’ll get the books on the floor, can you help me get the ones under your bed? I can’t fit!”

4. In my experience most kids, but especially kids with ADHD would walk to the fucking moon to help you, they just need a clear plan, keep the criticism light, short, and to the point, and ffs PRAISE THEM when they do things right, cause we’ve all (I hope) seen the statistics on how much more negative interaction they get compared to other kids (and rejection sensitive dysphoria is a motherfucker). But more than praise you need to show them how what they did was good for THEM. Do nooooooooot take this opportunity for an ‘I told you so’ or a ‘finally’ or you will suck out all their accomplishment.

“Hey, great job, you found that horse you were missing because you cleaned! And your room looks so nice! It’s really comfortable to play in now, and you did that.”

5. Emphasize it does not have to be perfect or complete to be worth doing. I don’t want to will my kids my paralysis of inaction because I can’t start part of something unless I can do all of it.

“We don’t have time to do the whole room, but let’s pick up the legos before bed so you don’t hurt your feet. And then it’ll already be done tomorrow!”

Other small but important things: make sure everyone is fed and not cranky when you start, including you. Do what YOU need to be in the right patient headspace for this. Put on music. Get coffee. Take breaks! Take dance breaks, tickle breaks, whatever. Make em short, set a timer, keep it consistent. Stop completely if they’re getting overwhelmed or stressed and be prepared to finish another day. They may complain and flop around a lot the first few times. Stay tooth grindingly positive and keep at it, it WILL get better. If you mess up, start again. It’s ok. It’s never too late.

I’m an adult with ADHD who finds cleaning their room a STRUGGLE, so I APPRECIATE THE HELL OUT OF THIS

Why are we never taught?

Why are we expected to just know?

And, for God’s own sake, why were we never exposed to the idea that being good at something often happens After being bad at something and doing it imperfectly anyway?

Seriously.

None of us could physically, mentally, or spiritually handle hearing THE Monster Mash

last summer I saw a giant moth who had fallen into a water trough, and I gently lifted her out so she could dry her wings and fly away. This was an act of great foresight on my part, since I know that one day, when I am in grave danger and all hope is fading…she will appear, and remember me from long ago, and lift me out of the water trough that I have fallen into. I’m telling you, this moth was huge

i wrote half an essay in 20mins today when it’s not even due for another 4 weeks, reblog this to have a productivity lightning bolt strike you like it did me today

Trust me mom, I've been searching LinkedIn for "court jester" and nobody is hiring!

No, look, I-

Yes, grandpa was able to walk in, insult the king, and got hired but times have ch-

THAT'LL GET ME BEHEADED!

i dont self depreciate anymore. i am hot and sexy and my meat is huge and i dont care about anyone elses opinion on the matter except my own because i am the smartest person on earth