MAJOR ϟ TOM

new year, new blog.

new year, new blog.

aries, leo, and sagittarius are *re*-energised and revitalised by sunshine, physical activity, getting the heart pumping and beating full and fast, and running around with dogs. they can find it difficult to sleep if they haven’t worn themselves out enough

cancer and taurus can sense being emptied out and stripped by sunlight, like the contact of direct sun drains away their vital forces into exhaustion. it’s common for this energy to work better by moonlight. these people can also become very moody and temperamental in hot weather 

when the aries mind and body is not occupied by fast paced sensory stimulation they become easily distracted, agitated and destructive. it doesn’t take long before emotional overload, excitement, angst, and unfocused energy exceeds their threshold of constraint and coping. they can change personality expressions quickly because they wear their mood, temperament, and heart on their sleeve. it reminds me of what j.m barrie wrote about fairies, that they have to be one thing or the other because they are so small that they unfortunately have room for one feeling only at a time

Pyre, The Gate Guardians

Tariq and Celeste.

Can we please talk about how our history teacher sent a barbie to the smithsonian as proof of the presence of man two million years ago

pleas,e for the love of God read the whole letter, there are tears streamign down my face rn

Can we please talk about how your history teacher has done this sort of thing enough times that he has his own specimen shelf in the Smithsonian

“yours in science” tho

“B. Clams don’t have teeth” is the part where I lost it.

@zozi-writes

The letter says:

“Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled “211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull.” We have gien this specimen a careful and detailed examination and regret to inform you that we disagree with you theory that it represents ‘conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago.’ Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the ‘Malibu Barbie’. It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to it’s modern origin:

It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in it’s normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating’s notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly , we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation’s Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name ‘Australopithecus spiff-arino.’ Speaking personally, I for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn’t really sound like it might be Latin.

However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to or nation’s capital that you proposed in you last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the ‘trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix’ that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.

Yours in Science,

Harvey Rowe

Curator, Antiquities”

—————————————————————————————————-

(sorry if there are misspellings or wrong wordings. this was long and i was reading it off my phone)

“I for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn’t really sound like it might be Latin.“

@glumshoe

this letter itself belongs in the smithsonian

Tourmaline - Paprok, Nuristan Province, Afghanistan

“Hey Ryuk do the Death Note rules say I can’t do THIS”

*Light rips out a page of the notebook and uses it to roll a flat blunt*

http://instagram.com/c.jiny

Damn nature you scary

nighttime adventures of forest friends

Deer are such ginormous idiots.

Three Owls / Photograph by Richard Brooks (www.rspb-images.com)

via Emmanuel Olarewaju