Aleksa Sims

RL Story

CW: c-section, surgery

I survived my first night at the hospital. I was woken up by a nurse at 6 am, who reminded me again, not to eat or drink anything. After an hour I was given some.... nice drugs, sedatives, by a Doctor. I felt so relaxed afterwards. As promised, Nico came to me. He smiled at me. I was soo happy when I saw him!!

Some time later at the surgery room, N. had to change clothes. He looked so funny in that... Doc-outfit. The Doc who did the C-section, thought Nico was one of his new colleagues. He warned N., to keep an eye on his things, because belongings keep disappearing here. Well, as long as nobody steals my Baby, I don’t care. While the anesthesiologist gave me a spinal anesthesia, the room filled with more and more Docs & students. Now the surgery started. I kept getting tired in between. I could hear (and feel) the Surgeon who did the c-section, struggling to get my son out.

I felt like I was falling off that surgical table. I said,"help I’m falling!" The doc behind me reminded me, I was safe! I was strapped to the table. The Docs have suspected that my Baby is huge, bigger than expected! I could hear everything!! Are those docs even aware of that, I wondered?🤷‍♀️ They were kidding about a huge Baby. 😄 MY Baby!!! Then finally, I heard my Son scream. So cute!! Like a puppy. "Congrats, it's a boy, a pretty tiny one." , the Surgeon said. (50 cm)

I was only allowed to look at my Baby briefly. The nurse held him to my cheek. I kissed his forehead. He smelled like apples, I remember that so well. I know it's strange. Why apples? Idk? That's what I smelled! The nurse then went next door with my Baby. She asked Nico to come along, but N. was scared for a moment, didn’t know what to do? Stay with me or go with our son? I remember I wanted to tell Nico, to go with our son, but I couldn’t talk anymore. I started to choke, I got really sick. Suddenly everything was black for a moment. For some reason, I passed out, which is why Nico got scared. He noticed that I rolled my eyes and was no longer responsive.

He had to leave the surgery room anyway, so he went with our son. 15 minutes later I woke up slowly.

Once I opend my eyes, I saw my Doc. He examined me and asked me how I was doing? I couldn’t answer him right away. He told me I was in the recovery room. My Baby's fine and Nico's with him. They’ll be right here with me.

How it went on and why I passed out, I tell next time.

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RL Story

CW: addiction, pregnancy, c-section, labor

Tomorrow morning I have my baby. I had to be a day earlier in the hospital, to be prepared for the c-section. That was totally pointless in my opinion. They didn’t really do much, except a CTG. Yea, and I got a pill to poop. But I didn't do it anyway.😬I just didn’t have to and couldn’t. 🤭🤷‍♀️ After that I was not allowed to eat & drink until after the surgery the next day.

I hate hospitals! Besides, I kept remembering that one horrible night in the emergency room when Daniel and I were so badly injured. I was terrified, I just wanted to go back home. I wasn’t the only one checking in at the maternity ward today. Another girl also arrived together with her boyfriend, almost simultaneously with Nico & me.

That girl stared at me all the time, as if she.... wanted to kill me?

However, I didn’t come here to argue with other pregnant women. I was struggling with other things. The fear of giving birth, totally fucked me up. Secondly, I was also worried about my baby!! What if he gets withdrawal symptoms? Then my son has to be treated at the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). I don’t know how I would handle that? 😞All the fears and anxieties I had throughout the pregnancy were now slowly becoming real.

A nice midwife who was on duty that night showed me my room. Nico asked her, if he could stay the night with me until tomorrow morning for the c-section? She said no! Visiting time ends at 7 pm, but he is allowed to stay with me until 10 pm, bcs he's the baby's Dad.

Suddenly we heard a scream! The midwife apologized to see what was going on out there. That one girl who also came here today, contracted. Her doc had induced labor this afternoon. I could see she was getting right to her limit. I really felt sorry for her. This will continue all night long. Her son was born only a few hours before mine. Some days later we will talk and find out, that she and I, but also our babies, have a lot in common. Nothing good to be honest.😞

N. had to go. We said goodbye, tomorrow morning at 7 he’ll be back.

My last quiet night? In any case, my nights will be different from now on. Whether I was aware of this at that moment? Yes, I was! And still, I couldn’t sleep, I was too excited. Everything will change tomorrow. I will finally be able to see my Baby and hold him in my arms. 💙

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RL Story

CW: Pregnancy, c-section

We got ready for.... delivery. Yea, we got ready, but I wasn’t ready!! 😨 I was scared! Of course we were excited, but I was way too nervous and also nauseous, when I got up in the morning.

Nico tried to calm me down. He had to help me in the bathroom and even did my skincare routine with me together. I was never allowed to put my cosmetics on his skin. Especially stuff like face masks, he doesn’t like that at all. But this morning... I suppose, he wanted to cheer me up.

He knew I was not only afraid, but also sad. Nico has to leave tomorrow night. He has to play soccer. 😞He will accompany me during the c-section and stay with me & our son in the hospital for a few hours, but as I said, in the evening, he has to leave. I was so unhappy about his constant traveling and soccer. The next 3 months I will see him only 3 times.

Anyway, tomorrow morning the c-section will be done, but I had to go to the hospital a day earlier, to be prepared for the surgery. Nico was with me. Tomorrow morning my Mom & Grandma will join us. Later my Sis, Dad & N's Mom. But also Sandra and some other People. I had too many visitors the first day, which overwhelmed me. 🤯🤯... I don’t remember much tbh? I know what happened after the c-section, the moments with Nico and our Baby alone 💙 but everything that came after that, is totally blurred in my mind. I mean that first day, the day my son was born. That I had to stay another 8 days in this fucking hospital, I did not know yet. 😞

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RL Story

Another year's almost over. It was Christmas. N.'s Mom invited my family. Even my Grama came. I was so happy about that. As you can see, Melanie also showed up. 👺

Well she's Nico's sister and belongs to his/our family. The relationship between me and Melanie was still tense. She hasn’t spoken to me, since she saw me again. I don’t care, as long as she avoids me and stops insulting me.😒

Sandra and her new bf Dario (Psycho) have also come. Sandra seemed so happy with him. He also got along well with us. Except with Ana! Ana did not like him from the beginning. She avoided him, she didn’t feel comfortable around him. As if Ana had sensed, that a part of Dario was dangerous. I didn’t feel any of this! I didn’t notice anything negative about him at the beginning.

Last year I spent Christmas with Daniel and his family. His weird, crazy mother, Tatiana his sister, and Irma that freak.😠It was all about our wedding. 😢💔Ngl, I also thought about Daniel this Christmas at N.’s Mom's. I was wondering where he might be? He has been through so much this year. I wished he was happy and clean, wherever he was.

The strangest thing for me about this funny evening was Nico's Dad. Why was he there? He & N.'s Mom are divorced. She’s happy with Felix. Nico didn’t want to see him as usual anyway. Melanie also seemed to avoid her Dad more and more. So I asked myself why he wasn’t with his new wife at Christmas? 🧐

Anyway. It was a nice evening. Next year, when hopefully everything goes well, we will celebrate Christmas with our Baby. 💙I was very nervous at that time. I was terribly afraid of childbirth. 😨Only 3 Weeks left. Help!

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RL Simself Story

Although my belly wasn't really recognizable or big, I was only 5 weeks away from delivery. 😨 And I had to decide! C-section or a normal birth. Due to my panic attacks I was advised to learn to meditate! I should use it during childbirth, to better cope with pain/labor & to avoid panic. Today, N. and I attended a class for couples, where I should learn to relax.... together with him. I was a little confused, because I expected something different. Once there, a nice, little woman entered the room. She was the instructor/coach.

Uncertain as usual, I clung to Nico, as if I wanted to hide. The little woman had me in view. She realized I was insecure. She probably guessed, that N. & I did not feel right here?

N. & I sat on our mat. After the nice woman introduced herself and explained what exactly this is about, I was sure, that this is not, what I thought. She talked about meditation, pregnancy & sex.

While I was doing a pelvic floor exercise, Nico was supposed to help me, but somehow he was..... distracted by the couple next to us.

I took part. I’m not prudish or anything. I was rather worried that I might be too heavy for him.🤣 However, I think it helped me come out of my shell a bit. Also, I gotta say, I.... felt.... something, him! 🤭

I have no idea what got him so excited? I swear I did nothing. As far as meditation is concerned, it wasn't necessary for me! In a few days I will decide on a c- section. 😕🤷‍♀️The cord's wrapped around my baby's neck, his CTG wasn’t perfect. But this was all recognized in time, so that my docs, could plan the c-section. (It wasn’t an emergency)

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RL Story

Everything repeats itself....

.... At least that’s what N.’s Mom thought.... I was at my prenatal check-up today. I had a CTG. Philip accompanied me. He's just my ride and N. knew about it!!

His Mom thought it was.... strange, that Philip accompanied me. I was mad, because it’s none of her business! I didn’t want to talk to her about it! I don't have to justify myself, for anything! N., P. & I closed that chapter, months ago! It’s been 2 years now, hell!! We know, it was a mistake, she doesn’t have to remind us all the time. We decided to leave the past behind.

But Nico’s Mom seemed to have to get something off her chest?

I was about to pack my things and go back to my parents. But I didn't want to upset N.! When he came home that night, I didn’t even mention it.

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RL Story

CW: pet loss

Last week was N.’s birthday. But since we were all so sad about the loss, N. didn’t want to celebrate his birthday. Besides, he wasn’t home anyway. He had to play soccer. Today N. came home. He was only gone for 3 days, but I still missed him sm. We were all so sad. The whole atmosphere here in the house was very depressing. That’s why, I was at my parents place. I had to get out of here. 😞Anyway! Today I was back in the house. I wanted to surprise N. I baked him a cake, a birthday cake.🥳

He didn’t expect my little surprise. I wanted to show him how much he means to me.🥰 Even if he didn’t want to celebrate his birthday, I thought a little surprise, will certainly cheer him up.

And well, my mission was successful! He was so happy, that was really sweet... N.’s been a little better. He only needed some time to himself, to process his dog's loss. I told N., that his Mom and Felix will be out tonight. They probably also needed a change of scenery. So Nico and I were alone in the house. I was a little scared tbh. But N. promised me he wouldn’t leave me alone for a second. He knew I was still feeling uncomfortable in this old house.👻 After I gave Nico his birthday gift, we went over to the living room.

His soccer ball was still on the floor. I remembered that I had never tried to play soccer with Nico. I asked him to show me something, a certain trick, he always does. I knew I’d embarrass myself! He’s a pro! I’m just a clumsy loser, yk? That was a stupid idea anyway! I almost killed N's Mom's plants with the ball. I hit one of them.🤦‍♀️But at least I made Nico laugh. We were both on the floor, laughing at the mess I made.

I asked Nico what he wants us to do tonight, after saving the plant I almost killed? What we did that night alone in that old house, I’ll tell you next time.

Oh, and some good news btw: Annabelle's coming back home to her Dad! 🩷

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RL Story

CW: pet loss 🙁

I spent the last two days at my parent's. This wasn't planned, I just wanted to help with all the baby stuff my family got for me. My Grama, my Mom’s Mom, came by yesterday after my Dad finally fixed that fancy baby bed my Mom bought. I haven’t seen my Grama for a long time. The last time we saw each other was when I was with Daniel. My Grama missed me. She knew I was pregnant and wanted to see me. She also got me some nice things for my Baby.

N. called me last night. He told me he couldn’t get me, because he was tired. He wanted my Dad to drive me home. But my Dad was totally pissed, about that baby bed, so I didn’t ask him to take me to... Nico, yk? However I stayed the night. But I called N. and.... well, his dog passed away.

The next morning I went straight to him. He was asleep. He didn’t really say anything to me. I kind of felt like I let him down? 🙁I wasn’t there when it happened. 😭I would have liked to say goodbye to his dog. 🐶 I felt so sorry for N. He got his dog when he was 10 and now alsmost 13 years later, he lost him. 😞

I left our bedroom. I didn't want to cry, I went downstairs, to talk to N.’s Mom. I wanted to know what happened and why didn’t they tell me? I mean, we all knew it would happen. Last week we had to go to the vet with N.'s dog, because he almost didn’t move anymore. He was very old, yk. The vet told us to say goodbye to him and just spend his last days together with him. But 2 days ago, I had the feeling, that our dog was doing better? He got up and even played with us. I thought he got through it. Maybe we have a few more months left with him? I just didn’t want to believe our dog would die, before our Baby was born. But well, I was wrong. 😞I'm gonna miss N.'s dog (Dino) sm.🐶

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I got a ... new pet.

RL Story

Today I went shopping with my Mom & Ana. We bought a baby bed. If it were up to my Mother, she would have bought a complete.... fully-equipped nursery and even more. Going shopping with this woman, is a never-ending ordeal.

I just needed a crib, everything else would have been too much!! We didn’t have enough space in my room. Later when I move into my new apartment, my little one will get his own room, but now, here, it's simply not possible! Idk what my Mom was up to?...And that.... fancy baby bed she bought, was extremely difficult to... assemble, because some screws were missing. That pissed my Dad off! So time for me to leave here!

I went down to the living room to chat with Ana a bit. I asked Ana to be honest with me. I still didn’t understand why she wanted to lie for Philip in court? Next week the trial starts.

I admit I was proud of my baby sis. Now I knew why Ana was so eager to help P. Poor Annabelle. Isabella’s family is just as crazy as Isabella!

After that Ana confessed to me, that she had some dates with P.’s lawyer. So this was true, but she didn’t fall for him or anything. And she also didn't sleep with him. He's 29! Nine years older than her. But he was nice and funny, Ana liked this about him.

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Hey squatty! Thanks for the ask. 💛

f: I’m gonna say CAS! It's just one of the best things in Sims 4. Styling my Sims and having fun. But I tend to waste too much time in CAS. Actually, I just wanted to change something quickly, but suddenly 2 hours have passed, yk? At this point it annoys me, bcs I can't decide what I want!! 🤯

m: Build mode! ❤️❤️❤️Here I can spend eternities. Even if build mode is not perfect & pretty buggy rn tbh 😒, I just...love it.

k: Live mode... bores me quickly. 🤷‍♀️

RL Story

I had a nice evening with N., his Mom & her spouse, whose name's Felix. He is a musician. He plays e-bass & piano. He used to play in a band. Now he earns his money with private piano- or e-bass lessons. Before that, I never really met Felix. I thought he was more serious at 56. But I gotta say, I was positively surprised. He is quite a... jokester. In any case, he is a nice guy from whom I can learn a lot. Like playing the piano. Well, frankly, I still can’t play the piano. I guess I didn’t take it seriously.

After dinner N.’s Mom had a little chat with me and Nico. Only 2 months and 2 weeks left, but Nico and I still haven’t thought of a name for our Baby. We talked about it weeks ago, but we just couldn’t agree. Let's see...

After that N’s Mom took the opportunity to talk to me about.... some unpleasant topics. She and my Mom talked a lot about Nico and me. My Mom told her, that I married Daniel and also about the risks to my Baby, due to my addiction & pills. I'd love to run away. But N.'s Mom was always nice to me, so I decided to talk to her. She didn’t want to expose me or anything. She just wanted to make something clear.

I felt very comfortable with N.’s Mom and Felix, they are both so nice. I hope the good mood remains. 😬 It’s N’s birthday soon, so his Mom invited Melanie too. She tried to reconcile us. I think N.’s Mom forgot how MEAN and insane her daughter is? 😠 Anyway, I'll try but... agh, Idk?

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RL Story

N. & I have moved. Actually, we still had 6 weeks before we had to leave his apartment, but moving so shortly before delivery, would have been too stressful. That’s why we're already here, at his Mom's new place. Now we have at least a few weeks to settle in, before our Baby comes.

While N. was busy bringing our things into the house and set up our bed, I was not allowed to help him. So I went for a walk with N.’s dog, to take a closer look at the area. It was beautiful here, a quiet place. I felt like I was somewhere far away. In RL there was a lake, not far from the house. I was wondering how N’s Mom and her partner could afford a house in such a nice area? Just around the corner there was a bus stop. This bus goes directly to subway. And once you are at the subway, you can get anywhere within minutes. This was very important to me.

For almost two hours N.'s dog & I were wandering around. Our dog didn’t seem to be doing well? He was tired and sometimes just stopped, which was very unusual. I sat down with him somewhere at a bench. As soon as we took a break, he was fine again. Nevertheless, something was wrong with our dog....

Back in the house, N.’s dog went right to his food bowl. I was relieved, he was just hungry, I thought. Anyway, I went up to N., to see how far he was done with our bedroom.

Up in the hallway, I looked around a little... These old oil paintings on the walls, reminded me of my grandparents' house. Somehow creepy, yk? I hope it's gonna look more cozy here, once everything's done. If not, Nico won’t have it easy with me here at night. I can get pretty jumpy in such old houses like this one. But tonight we have dinner together with N.’s Mom and her partner. I have some questions about the house. Why did N.’s Mom even want to move here? She was planning to buy an apartment, but now she's back in a house. An, old house with an... old man. 😬 Her new partner's 56. (10 years older than her.) I didn’t really know him that well, but Nico said he was nice. And my parents knew him too. Two years ago, when Nico and I were (still) together, my parents celebrated New Year’s Eve with Philip's parents and N's Mom and her new boyfriend. My Mom & Dad got along well with him. Well, let’s see...

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