@safebird on Tumblr

safebird reblogged

imfluid

chuuyasboots

#the magnus archives podcast #but only the eps where jon is the narrator

safebird reblogged

izzyliker

catilinas

help i’m in london w my dad and he keeps pointing at buildings and saying ‘there used to be a coffee shop here’ but by ‘used to be’ he means. in the seventeenth century

catilinas

we went past a pub and he was like ‘when this was a coffee shop (in the seventeenth century) isaac newton dissected a dolphin in the back room one time’ like ok. we are about to miss the train

#this is what dating on the spectrum is like

safebird reblogged

izzyliker

memorycycle

not my itsy bitsy ass climbing up the water spout again

safebird reblogged

ladiesloveduranduran

femmchantress

Quick while everyone’s distracted unify Ireland

safebird reblogged

lettuce-gremlin

1percentcharge

My favorite pirate joke is “why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at c” not because it’s THAT funny but because it’s a relatively simple joke that nobody ive told it to has ever correctly guessed the punchline for because they all think it’s gonna be a joke about arrrr

1percentcharge

Another classic is

“Why couldn’t the pirates play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck!”

For more hilarious pirate jokes like these go to google and type pirate jokes into the search bar and click search

1percentcharge

#my ex used to tell me a similar one #shed go whats a pirates fav letter #and id go arrr #and shed go you'd think itd be arrr but actually its the c

safebird reblogged

lettuce-gremlin

aurosoulart

when your art program’s closing message hits you straight in the heart and makes you stop and contemplate the state of it all

aurosoulart

because of the huge response to this post, I decided to make a version of the art that includes the text

(I’ve also uploaded this version of the design to INPRNT, Society6, and Redbubble)

safebird reblogged

bastardsinclair

wolfboyvirus

Hello tumblr, im doing something of a mini survey so i have two questions:

1. Did you know before reading this that there was mercury present in thermometer fluid

2. Regardless of your previous answer would you say this was common knowledge

#yes and yes #thats why breaking one is baaaad

safebird reblogged

farklelucas

childhoodrecalled

2002slut

these bitches only existed on hallmark cards

They exist in my head and talk to each other while I drive to the.Store

#this is thank you thank you thank you erasure #i still hear their voices

safebird reblogged

derryhawkins

thecollectibles

Avatar: The Last Airbender by Flesh.png

safebird

Anonymous asked:

(1/2) Hi. First of all, my best friend loves birds so I really appreciate your inbox title. I dislike the cursed fact that hummingbirds have "teeth," but she would be quick to tell me that they aren't really teeth and explain the biology to me. Second, in 2016 you wrote a fanfic about Disney descendents and I read it. And even now, four years later, there is a section that really haunts me: the discussion about apples. I adore the line "The laws of apples do not apply to us"

(2/2) I have carried that line with me through some of the best days and worst months of my life, across difficult separations and painful reunions, and I genuinely just want to thank you. Your writing is so beautiful and so poignant, and I never in a million years would have thought a Descendents fanfiction would be so important to me, but here we are. I'm actually debating getting a tiny apple tattoo (and maybe the quote, if that is okay with you?) bc of your work. Thank you so very much! 🍎🍎

Okay, I haven’t been on here in months so idk if the person who sent this will even see that I finally replied but this comment makes me feel amazing, if you see this anon, I’m very happy that something of mine has made such an impact and if you ever get that tattoo I would love to see it, thank you for telling me all this! <3