Just why?

Oh boy... Another rant on some random stuff of my life... Hope this doesn’t end horribly.... Anyways life has been hard as it is, friends freaking out about Net neutrality... and friends freaking out about NET NEUTRALITY. It absolutely got me irritated to have these close people be freaking out about something that won’t be even affecting them since they live in the damn U.K. But no, they make a big deal out of it. Sure they have good reason to freak out since that they would be losing several friends because of the process but they don’t realize that it won’t happen because of it being repealed by congress since it violates the Bill of rights and the first amendment says,”Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.” And what does the Net neutrality do? “People of color, the LGBTQ community, indigenous peoples and religious minorities in the United States rely on the open internet to organize, access economic and educational opportunities, and fight back against systemic discrimination.” It will take the down LGBTQ group, and religious minorities and it will violate the first amendment because it takes away the freedom of religion. And also everyone is freaking out because of how it will destroy the internet but they don’t realize that it won’t go through because it Violates the basic Bill of rights that we all had made as a democracy! It just irritates me! It really does! But I will only guess it was just the heat of the moment and that much thought wasn’t given on the real politics. But enough of my idiotic rant of something like that, I have vented my stress of that and though I will be ranting my stress on something else. The topic on what is a good friend. Now good friends are there to help when help is needed and to not really bring down but instead lift up. Well I have had to deal with something like that in my friend group in discord... We all have that one friend that we always cherish and often give multiple chances right? Well this one friend kept calling my very close friend an art thief although she was needing help with changing a certain character’s look so that it doesn’t match another person’s character to very close similarities. Now what she had done was change the hair and color of it, but she needed some help with changing look, but this friend declined her need for help and instead kept yelling out and spamming chat that she was an Art thief to a point that she was pissed. Not to mention this happened while I was away! Now this just makes me think that hell breaks loose when i’m away and I will believe that, I really do. Just because of the fact that it happens time after time again. Though the problem is resolved it does hurt me that this friend just kept calling thief even though my female friend was asking for help. Now she didn’t say exactly that she needed help but she dropped hints on help. Even I KNEW, she needed help when I was reading through the chat. As someone who is able to read between lines to some degree, I understood perfectly what was needed. *Loud breath in and soon out* But enough of the hell that I dealt with, it is resolved and we all somehow stayed friends despite this ordeal. Though I have gotten a headache from this problem and from just venting it. Now I bid all of you Adieu *Bows and lights shut off.* -NSG

Tears

I always wondered why we cry. Why we give off these tears of sorrow. Why we give off these tears of Joy. As I am writing this out, I am listening to one of the many songs that make me want to reflect on my past and cry. The truth is, the song itself is not sad but it is calling to my past. It calls to the fact that I had rough times and that I had good times. It hits both good and sorrowful memories that I see as old reminiscences of life. The way how the keys are hit, how the Piano and violin are played makes me think back when I was a young child, wondering why life was the way it was. So I say, that truly this gives me gratitude that i’m here and alive, that I’m here to write these things out and talk of my past, that I’m here to be a pillow for those who need to cry. Now that I think of that beach and sunset... I really just want to cry, but not of my sorrowful past. I want tears of my happy future that will come. I thank you all, though some I do not know and some who I know personally, and may we all shed tears. Not of sorrow, but of Joy.

Nostalgia

Oh the many things that bring back so many happy memories. One of these being my favorite game growing up being Kingdom Hearts 2. This game held a special place in my heart just because of the fact that it was a rpg with Disney characters and yet it had it’s own interesting plot and story. Back then I used to play that game to no end since first things first, I loved it and I just loved the way how the game did great with battles, and having to incorporate new mechanics. But back to when I played this game, I often would just either be sitting on the bed in my room or be sitting on the ground in front of the giant T.V. in my living room. I just remember the great intro of the Violins and Pianos playing as the opening theme, Known as Dearly Beloved, play and my impatient self trying to get into the game fast. I remember the amount of deaths and how many tries it took me to get a certain Secret boss dead (I’m looking at you Sephiroth mother****). Though I would have to leave the game since I had to be moving away. I lost the playstation and the game copy I once had though now, I play Kingdom Hearts 2 Final Mix. I remember starting up the game and hearing the sweet Violins and Piano play once more and I was almost moved to tears. I felt at peace to know that I would be able to play a game of my childhood. Although when I play it, I took the giant leap from the easiest difficulty to the newly put hardest and went with a restriction of Lv 1, I was happy, mad, sad, and many things but I was so grateful to be able to play my favorite game again. Enough of this though, I must end off from my slight reminisce of my past. Though how much I want to write it out more, I know you people have much better to do than read this person’s rambling of his past.  NSG out-

Our Voices

Our voices are pretty awesome I tell you that, but the bad part is that when you’re yelling at some point a lot and doing some ‘terrible’ voice acting on some characters you’ve done in the past, your voice wears out pretty bad. I should know, my throat is killing me and it’s 12:34 am on 11/6/17. This all happened because of I went to Knotts berry farm and just kept deciding to get on the big bad dropper of Supreme scream while having a friend with me. All I can say is that, it shouldn’t be called supreme scream, instead Supreme Yell. I was yelling random stuff like,”WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?” or,”WHY DID I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS THREE TIMES ALREADY.” I always wondered why out voices couldn’t be lasting, like we could do so many things with them such as being able to yell for indefinite amount of time without getting a sore and raspy voice that makes you sound like a smoker, or being able to do awesome voices (Mcree’s voice is like butter!). But really it just has to do with being unique. We all have out strong suits and areas where we are lacking. On my hand, I can’t sing to save my life but I can pull some voices: my creepy killer and some others. Although I want to expand my horizons of voice acting and maybe singing, my voice would be just dead after it all. I can’t handle much strain on these vocal cords of mine but if i’m going out, I’ll be going out doing what I love. Now time for this idiot of a highschooler to finish his hw for the morning and get some needed sleep and rest on the throat. -NSG

Life rants pt 2

The real thing that I truly hate about moving is that I have to deal with being the new kid and having to set a new persona as myself. It was just like when I first came to Fallbrook. When I was there for 6th grade at the school, I was a sorta shy yet swear mouth. Then Middle school came around and just changed me again. I was more out there, more obnoxious and idiotic. I don’t know why I was like this, why I was so stupid and acted as if I was a constantly changing kid on personality. I think it just might’ve been because of what I was doing at the time. I was more a Roleplayer and heavily relied on that as an escape rather then to do the other things that were an escape for me, Playing video games. Now it didn’t hit me on how much I was missing out on games and such until I came back here to be with my aunt and my uncle with their single child. Now I wish I can get back to my escape but all I can truly do now is just rant on about how I hated my life and how it was so regrettable for me. I just want to go back to streaming the games that I loved to play.  Enough about my gaming self and how I tried to cope with my life of being a child of two divorced parents. I never really wanted much, sure I wanted food constantly but I never really new things. I wanted things that would last but never new games or new play things like games or something of that sort. Now today is a new day, It’s 11/2/17. Yesterday was the first. At this moment I’m listening to my best role model and best mother like figure play League of legends. She truly is the best person I could ever be friends with and the best person to even call my ‘Mom’. She helped me through my problems even when they were hell, such as my last entry was having the topic of running away. I wanted to run away to her but she talked me out of it. She made me see the future consequences of that actions and how it would effect her if she got caught with me. She gives me a reason to endure my hell of life, my torment. I just wish that one day I can be there for her and help her. Just know that I’ll be your little Nexus boss2 and know that You’ll forever be my Mama Jan. Thank you for everything. Thank you for giving me advice when horrible advice was given. Thank for being there for me when I spoke in my anger of life. One last time, Thank you. @flufflebunbun420

Writing whatever is going my Mind

Memories. Why do my memories haunt me? Why do they bring back pain yet bring joy? What did I do to make these memories of pain, these memories of Joy, these memories of sadness? It must be the regrets that I have when I left my true home. When I left Fallbrook one year ago. I never had a true home, never had truer friends that I truly saw as friends. Sure I might have friends where I am, but my heart still longs to come back to Fallbrook, my true home. I beg and beg to go back yet I’m restrained from going back, whether it be financially, emotionally, or whatever the hell it is. I’m tired of feeling this pain. I just want to go back, I want to go back home. I doubt my true friends would remember me but it would be a blessing if some did, if some remembered me for how I was back then. Hopefully what people say to me here doesn’t show over there. That i’m a bragger, that I’m a legitimate prick. I want to be like how I was back then. I’m just homesick right? Or am I holding onto something more deeper? Something of higher sentimental value? I truly will never know til I go back. Sure it’s a long and winding path that’ll be harsh and treacherous, but I’ll be ready. I’ll be ready for the old laughs from old conversations we all once held. I want home, I want my true and only home in which I found true love. My love for Fallbrook. My love for Friends. My love of everything. But in truth, my love for my true Home. With my nonsensical rambling I want to turn to a darker thing that I came across the other day. My thoughts of running away to somewhere better, where I won’t be touched by my parents’ wrath of ideals and faith. I wanted to leave to go be with people who cared but, though with others wanting me to stay, persisted that I stay at home, that it will be better! It didn’t take me until the person whom I wanted to stay with talked to me, who talked me out of my hatred and anger, who talked me out of my want without consequence. They told me to stay where I was, to know that my parents care for me, that they want me to be safe and to be at home. I just wanted friends who truly know me and who I truly know. Though in truth I was going to cause grief to my parents, my siblings, my family and faith. I was being purely childish in my thoughts and want. I... Sure am an Idiot aren’t I? That very question lingers in my mind. How close I was to to truly running away from my problems unlike my true self where I hit them dead on. It truly does show how emotions, how feelings can cloud the greater judgement or cloud the person’s true personality and self. As I near my end of this, I just want to state that I truly am an Idiot at times and... I too can make mistakes with such stupidity and have the end result of regret. We’ve all felt regret and we all know that god forbidden feeling. But nevertheless, I must end my thoughts on paper and finish up my needed things. Today is a new day with it’s own problems and affairs. I bid you all adieu and farewell until my next ‘rant’ on my idiotic life.

Short Story- Written on 9/18/17

[The prompt of the entry is to start with "I was Kayaking across the ocean, when I realized I had come to a foreign land."] I was Kayaking across the ocean, when I realized I had come to a foreign land. Upon reaching shore, the place was oddly familiar for some reason. It was a town that I had once gone to before but in worlds of my own. I started my walk and saw the many shops, the town hall, all of it was exact. It was the town Dusk. 

 "Nexus!" A feminine voice from behind yelled as I was about to go over the corner to another street. I turned around to the voice who had called me out, and I soon felt a punch just hit me in the center of my gut. I was Breathless. "Where have you been?!" the small girl yelled once again. Her half parted hair was two different colors at different sides: One being a pink and the other being chocolaty color. Her pinkish colored eyes pierced into mine. 

 "Hit me again Neo and I swear to the gods that I will take that vocal collar off of you," I threatened as my lips moved on their own. I could see her small figure just growl slightly, and crossing her arms,"After all that's something you shouldn't do to your boyfriend of all people." 

 "I missed you though!" she exclaimed. She seemed to grow a bit more nicer? I couldn't tell since she looked at me with a continuous angry look and since she did punch me in the middle of my gut. 

 "I know you missed me and all but I need to go back to base. Maybe after everything we can just relax and just try to live it simple?" I suggested. 

 Neo could just be seen giving off a sigh and an unwanted nod,"That'll be great Nex... Just come back safe." Her tone was sad as if she was losing me. I turned and forced my hand out. A slight force of energy came out of me as a dark portal opened infront of me. It was around 9ft tall and around 6ft wide. My body took over and I just ran in, getting into the corruption of the portal. [Completed on 10/12/17 8:55 P.M.]

-NSG

Dream Entry written on 10/11/17

[The prompt for this one was to write about a dream that we had and remember. This one is quite dark, you’ve been warned.]      I was running from roof to roof. I was able to have enough speed to jump from edge to edge of these buildings being around three to four stories tall. I felt powerful, like nothing could stop me. For some reason I was hearing screams. Screams of pure fear.

    Every time I jumped I could hear the terrified screams as if a person was jumping off a building to commit suicide. I tried to look down at the busy streets of the city as I jumped and all I saw was a person actually jumping with a crowd there, trying with their failed attempt of prevention or there to watch it happen. The person jumping looked similar to me, maybe it was me or a representation of my want years ago. I didn’t know, but I did know that I was causing these things to happen.      Thinking on these things slowed down my run til I just stood and just dropped to my knees, tears rolling down my face. A dark portal-like entrance opened in front of me, a hooded man of sorts walking out. He spoke nothing yet I understood the pure silence. This man soon dug into the inner parts of his coat and withdrew it to reveal a Glock, pressing it against my head. I was truly accepting of my fate. The click of the trigger was followed with the distinct gunshot.      Following the gunshot was me to awake in my bed, All I ever thought from once I woke up was,’I’m sorry everyone... for being such an Idiot.’

[Written on 10/11/17 and time completed at 3:02 P.M.] [By NSG]

Short Story- written on 8/9/17

[Now the prompt for this journal Entry was that we have to start the story with,”The sun was blinding me and all I could see was a cloud of insects swirling all around me.”]

The sun was blinding me and all I could see was a cloud of insects swirling all around me.Then they dispersed, all I could see was the desert dunes that I had been traversing for so long.

“Geki!” a feminine almost childish voice yelled to me. As any person would, I turned to the voice. It was a small girl wearing a purple dress, she looked to be around eight. Her hair was a soft silvery white which flew in the air as she was running towards me, with her arms wide open as if awaiting a sweet loving embrace.

“A-ammy?” my voice stuttered from the sight of my small daughter. My legs moved on their own and I, too, ran to her. When our bodies collided for a hug, her body bursted into sand. My eyes had finally stopped their daydreams and I remembered by predicament, being in the middle of a sandstorm.”So it was an illusion... this damn treasure is getting into my head,” I muttered quietly as I felt a burst of pain in the back of my head. I tried to take a step forward but I instead collapsed onto the sand covered ground.

“What do we have here?” A backstabbing thief,” A gruff voice growled. I tried to flip myself to see the man who had assaulted me, though my vision and consciousness failed me. I slowly drifted into unconsciousness as I laid face forward, unwary of the future.

[Cliffhanger anyone? Well I might continue this but it’ll take time for me to do it so just expect my other Journal Entries to keep you company for now!]

[Time done for this ‘Chapter 1′- 10/10/17 1:15 A.M.]

A Small Visit

Journal Log 10/10/17 12:42 A.M.

Man... haven’t been in quite the while. It feels like a year.... though my latest activity was in either in Feb or Jan. This place sure does bring back memories to be honest with anyone who still looks at this ‘blog’. I’ll try to change up everything here and maybe try to submit some personal stories since English is having us write plenty of ‘Journal Entries’. Well Tomorrow I will try and maybe put in one of my first Journal Entries I put in for class, which ends in a cliff hanger cause we had a timelimit... heh.... Anynow! This ends this Journal Log!

-NSG

Though it’s late of this great day of Valentine’s day. I have to something to everyone who has followed this terrible blog. I thank you all for staying with the blog, for following though you all are mostly people I know, I still thank you all and I love you all. May you all have a happy Valentine's day.