Randomtober #10: Anya and Dimitri
burn the saints inside you.
FELLOW TRAVELERS 1.03 "Hit Me"
i feel like i cant even trust my own brain. please dont take offense when i cant trust you.
i never felt loved by my family which is why i always searched for it in the worst places because when you’re about to die of thirst, even a drop of poison tastes like heaven.
Everybody around me has some kind of dreams, goals for the future.
When I look at the future, it's just an empty darkness.
trying to explain my emotions to someone, getting invalidated, and then telling myself never to open up to anyone again in a vicious hourly cycle
"if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" babe slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally
Can't stop thinking about how it's so easy for them to not talk to me, yet I become physically ill at even the idea of not having them around
I wanna burn down every single bridge I built cause I’m tired of being the only person that makes sure it doesn’t fall apart
Did we all have the same childhood
i will forever be the hurting child, the angry teenager and the lonely adult.
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you ever listen to a playlist and all of the sudden a song that has incredible blorbo energy comes on you're you're just like this
it's an art, you know. loving someone you can't have? it's an art. it's a way to convince yourself that, even if you can't confess to them, you're capable of caring enough to want to wake up in the morning. it's a testament to all of the pain you've been through. tells you that the map you've followed all your life, with all of its twists and turns and roadblocks, has lead you right where you need to be: here, alive, loving. loving. loving. and yeah, maybe you can say it to them, those three words. you can't really mean it, though, and that's what hurts, right? you can tell them, "i love you. i hope you're happy and healthy. you deserve it." you can tell them, "you're my favorite person. i love you so much." you can tell them, "you're the best friend i've ever had. i love you." no matter what, you can shower them with love. pray they understand. and if they don't? the heart beating in your chest is a consolation, isn't it?