Insecure
Request by @feedourthoughts: Hey! Could I request a dean x reader fanfic where the reader is insecure about her body because she is skinnier and has smaller hips and breasts etc. Please?
A/N: it took me a bit to write this, it’s the end of the semester so a bunch of stuff is coming up but I finished it after sitting around giving it a lot of thought. Hope you enjoy it!
She’s just sitting there. Just staring at her coffee cup, completely in her own mind in the kitchen of the Men of Letters bunker. It was about 7:30 in the morning and she couldn’t sleep well last night. Her mind was just in constant thought.
Her face was contorted into focus, thinking and planning, not exactly sure what to do. This issue was on her mind from time to time but it didn’t become a pressing problem until some stranger pointed it out to her, confirming her deepest insecurity.
“Excuse me young man,” this man in his early forties said to her yesterday evening at a gas ‘n sip to her turned back, “can you grab that six pack in front of you, I’d really appreciate it.”
She recalls turning her face to him, in complete offense. He quickly back tracked.
“Oh sorry miss, thought you were some boy from the back, can you please hand me that bud light, I’d greatly appreciate it,” he smiled apologetically and she handed him the bud light.
Ever since that encounter she just kept thinking.
I look like a god damn boy, this guy straight up called me a boy. How the hell did I end up just looking like some dude?
She slept for about 3 hours that night, dreamt about being a teenage boy instead of a girl and just feeling distressed. Her closest friends and hunting partners just kept saying she’s one of the boys, her latent crush just saying he doesn’t date boys so it’s best to be friends. She realizes that there are bigger things to worry about. She tries to suppress these feelings, with the fact that monsters are out in the world and there’s people that actually live that nightmare of not living as their real gender.
It took three calls of her name to get her attention.
“Hey Y/N, snap out of it,” Dean was in a bathrobe with a T-shirt and boxer briefs on, freshly out of the shower as she can tell since his hair was flat and wet.
Her focused was broken and her eyes moved to the man sharing the kitchen with her.
“Oh hey, good morning, how’d you sleep?”
He looked at her suspiciously.
“Like a baby, what’s wrong with you? You’ve been weird since you got back from the food run last night.”
She looked back at her coffee mug, staring at the hot, dark liquid.
“Nothing important, really.” She rubbed her thumbs against the porcelain cup. Her lips puckering at the thought of his reaction to her thoughts, knowing she wouldn’t hear what she wanted.
“All right, I’ll bite,” Dean poured himself his own cup of coffee from the pot and sat across from her at the wooden table, “what’s on your mind sweetheart.” He looked concentrated and concerned. Ready for a conversation.
“I told you it’s not important.”
“Fine, if you don’t want to talk about it, great I get it, but don’t be all depressed about it and just stay quiet, it doesn’t really help. Trust me on that, I’m an expert,” he got up and took a swig of his coffee and headed towards the exit.
“I look like a boy,” she said almost at a whisper. He almost didn’t hear it.
He turned his upper body towards, looking at her in disbelief.
“I said, I look like a boy.”
Dean turned his whole body towards her at this point.
“I heard you, why the hell do you think that?”
She sighed while she continued to stare at her coffee.
“Look, you can’t argue that I’m the most feminine girl out there. My boobs are small, my hips are narrow, my waist is practically non-existent, and Sam even has longer hair than I do.”
“Well, that’s just Sam’s fault for not getting a haircut.” He joked, she was not amused.
“You’re not helping Dean.”
“All right, since when do you care about this stuff? Last I checked you’re not the one to to be sporting a dress with heels.”
“This man at the gas station called me a ‘young man’ and I don’t know, he just brought up a bunch of insecurities.” She was staring down at her lap, avoiding eye contact with him.
She looked up when she felt a presence next to her, seeing Dean crouched down at her level, pulling her hand into his.
“Screw that guy. You shouldn’t be losing sleep over some asshat who’s rude enough to call a hot chick a dude. How about this, next time I see his face, I’ll let him meet my fist.” She laughed to herself, and Dean smiled hearing that laugh.
“You don’t even know how he looks like Dean.”
“Oh I’ll find him, I’ll put an APB out on the dude. I’ll see how he likes it when I make him look like a girl.”
“That…that doesn’t make sense.”
“I actually don’t.” She laughed again and Dean smiled again.
“All right, so go back to bed princess, don’t lose sleep over an idiot.” Dean gave her a kiss on the cheek and on her hand before getting up. Y/N gave him a gentle smile, as he began walking away she jumped up and ran to him, giving him a hug.
“Anytime sweetheart.” She looked up at him, making eye contact.
He leaned down and gave her a quick peck on the lips. He moved his hand through her hair, feeling the texture between his fingers.
“Why don’t you come lie down with me, I’ve missed you.” She smiled and nodded.