pokemon is about siccing your dog on a creature that is intrinsically, biologically, a baby mime

pokemon is about an act your dog can perform on someone else’s dog, which sports announcers and scientists alike are calling “gunk shot”

Dude that is too much slop for him

stop doing coke with these jokes and come smoke crackula with dracula

The Wolf of Walgreens

boar of strenght and boar of power

heavy training every hour

huge and fat my awesome pig

i make it large i make it big

I’m planning out my bedroom when i live on my own next year

just got kicked out of Starbucks for - you guessed it - inventing a special kind of glue that lets me climb up anything.

you know im on somewhat of a mid journey myself