only going forward

Customer: THIS IS ME WHEN I VISIT MY FRIEND DMV: THE FRIENDFUL VISITOR

Verdict: DENIED

losing my mind at this

Me: my god.. i did it.. i killed him..!

Angel on my shoulder: we're extremely fortunate. You shot him in the side of the head and you're wearing gloves. Place the gun in his hand and set the house ablaze. Officer Goger's tragic suicide will be the perfect cover story

Devil on my shoulder: Goger was always eating stuffing and spelt wheat and steel cut oats. Bet he'd taste reeeeal good on a spit with an apple in his mouth. Come on, i've seen the way you've looked at him..

My tulpa, a 6'9" DD smokeshow hottie PS1 graphics anthro leopard girl in a lab coat: you must put a baby in me Your Highness, quickly!

Your honor I think you'll find that my message "I am going to kill you with a hammer tomorrow morning as you leave for work I know your routine and I will catch you" did not have "/srs" attached to it

I’ve seen people pass around the “hold up, I’m googlin’ something” image but it cropped out the part where he was googling “how many guys can one guy take”

this page, in isolation, is possibly the funniest thing i have seen in any manga

“why are you wearing a cloak at the bowling alley” it’s my bowling cloak you fucking casual

the ghost of one specific homosexual cowboy regularly possesses Tumblr gays

passages that make you burst out sobbing

Me the past 24 hours:

tshirt that says I viscerally hate your boyfriend