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Mr.DetectiveDouche

@mrdetectivedouche / mrdetectivedouche.tumblr.com

30 - I very rarely tag anything. So just...be aware of that. It’s not maliciousness, just laziness.
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K so not to be dramatic or anything, but there's a free vintage French pattern book available on antiquepatternlibrary so if you like to crochet/weave/make pixel art/tie epic friendship bracelets don't walk- RUN.

It has scenes from aesop's fables! Cherubs doing things! Beheadings! Greek muses! Little farm people! Intricate floral pattern! Goth stained-glass window like patterns! Fun little corner pieces! Eeeeeeeeeeeeee

https://www.antiquepatternlibrary.org/html/warm/C-TT008-180.htm

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dibbersify

@knottybliss patterns!

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knottybliss

Oooooh I gotta check this site out

I can't believe more people don't know about the antique pattern library! All those public domain, vintage handiwork books and magazines are scanned in pdf format, and FREE TO DOWNLOAD! Languages include French, Italian, German, and English. It just does need to be mentioned that most of the earlier English publications are British, so American users need to make sure to convert the instructions as necessary. Especially crochet instructions, where a British double crochet is an American single. No, I don't know why 🤣

Publications include (for those who can't see the picture) :

Battenberg Lace, Beading, BerlinWork, Bobbin lace, Bookbinding (yes, bookbinding!!!)

Calligraphy, Carpentry, Crochet, Cross Stitch, Cutwork

Drawing, Dressmaking

Embroidered Net, Embroidery

Filet, Filet Crochet, Flower Arranging

Glass

Hardanger

Irish Crochet

Knitting, Knotting

Lace (soooo many forms of lace making)

Macrame

Paper, Point Lace

Quilting

Ribbonwork

Sewing

Tatting, Tulle Embroidery

Various

Waxwork, Woodworking

Workbasket Magazine -- a publication that usually posted multiple different crafts in each issue.

It's a wonderful site, and I've loved it for nearly 20 years!

Antiquepatternlibrary.org

THE SITE

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As a general rule, if you're having food cravings, you should probably pay attention to that, because it's usually a sign that your body needs something. Like, if you've just finished a workout and are suddenly desperately craving fries? Maybe you're low on salt, you did just sweat a whole bunch. Period cravings for junk food? Your body's under some stress and working hard, you need energy, and foods with a lot of fat and/or sugar are an easy way to get that.

Back in the early 1900's when exploring Antarctica was all the rage, y'know what was a major part of everyones daily rations? Butter. Just butter. The men out on the sledging teams would have cravings to eat entire sticks of butter with nothing else, so that was included in their rations. And that happened because under those extreme circumstances, their bodies desperately needed as many calories as possible, so their diet consisted mainly of butter, chocolate, and animal fat. Eating entire sticks of butter was the healthiest possible diet for them.

That's an extreme example of course, but my point is, there's no such thing as inherently Good or Bad food. Anything that's edible can be healthy under the right circumstances, just like anything can be an unhealthy choice under the wrong circumstances. Your body knows what it needs. Listen to it. Unless you're actively going through a serious medical situation, you do not need a tightly restricted diet. Diet culture is a scam, body fat is natural and healthy, food is good for you, and calories are the fuel your body needs to power its continued survival.

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The burning question about "homesteading tradwive influencer vs. actual medieval farmwife" wouldn't be about who would win, but what would be the final straw that would make Kathrynn - who got married at 21, doesn't know what a chemical is, and who would have sent her children to school if she had had the chance - finally decide to beat the ever-loving shit out of Kathrynn, who got married at 21, doesn't understand what a chemical is and can't spell for shit, but still thinks she can homeschool her kids.

It wouldn't be over feminist issues. Medieval Kathrynn has no concept of "women's right to vote" - it's not like her husband has the right to vote in government matters either. It would probably be about religion. Medieval Kathrynn has no idea what "catholism" is, but she heard Modern Kathrynn talk shit about the saints and decides to toss aside the goat she was castrating and go "that's it, I'm beating your ass."

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elihearts

I'm pretty sure it would be vaccination, actually. Medieval Kathrynn would find out that there's an easy, safe way to keep the babies from dying of measles/mumps/smallpox and that Modern Kathrynn is CHOOSING TO NOT DO IT and would use the grave marker of her third child who passed from the pox as a bludgeon.

^^^^

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Yeah, they’re gonna lift the working class right into a company town.

Only rich people would think this was a good idea.

Learn your history, people!

We DID this shit- for DECADES. It was fucking awful. Companies paid people in “scrip” which was only good for use at the Company Store. So effectively, the company got your money coming and going, and they didn’t pay you at all. And the longer it went on, the less likely you were to have savings that could have helped you move away or get a different job.

I’ve already seen one ad trying very sneakily to promote the idea of “AmazonBucks”, including giving them to workers as rewards, or instead of things like healthcare, sick days, and PTO.

Here’s your reminder that scrip is fucking illegal, that company towns are always a shit idea that should stay dead and buried, and that if unions didn’t work? Every big company out there wouldn’t be fighting tooth and nail to destroy them.

#UnionStrong #SolidarityForever

We even have old songs about how this is a bad idea

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rad-roach

You know how shitty it is that your health care insurance is directly tied to your job? Imagine if your housing worked the same way. Your husband or wife dies in a warehouse accident and you have 30 days to find a new place to live.

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cuprohastes

I live in the North of England, which, because Londoners are inherently bigots, is the middle of England. We had Mill towns: Some mill owner with Notions would build a Model town or a set of terraces and lure people in from the smallholdings to work in the mill.

And then they'd own you: You'd buy your bread at the company store at their price, you'd pay them rent, be fined for being late, for dropping your work, for missing quota... If you were super unlucky you'd have to use the company coin, which couldn't be spent anywhere else. Very EA. You'd get a half day off on Sunday to got to church but you'd work 7 days a week. Your kids would get a few hours school, because some interfering politician had made a law saying children had to have an education, then they'd be expected to show for work.

They'd have to crawl under the looms, while they were in operation and scavenge thread and chaff. Meaning the foreman would occasionally haul you off the machine you were working on and tell you your kid just got scalped because the machine caught her hair and ate the top of her head. So sad, back to work, PS you're being fined a penny for not being at your station.

The soot would get everywhere: We were still power washing it off inb teh 90s. Stuff that didn't get it is still stained black. The dust from the fabric would give you Black Lung, and you'd retire at 50, having been deaf for 30 years, hacking up chunks of lung, and be dead by 55. Then the company would charge your family to bury you. And yes: they'd throw them out of the tiny house that shared a toilet with 20 other families.

Oh yes: The shop floor was so loud it'd deafen the workers, and they'd all be lip reading and using ad-hoc local sign language to talk. You know that running joke about OSHA being written in blood? Yeah. It was.

So here's the interesting part. You know who dug us out of this corporate hell?

Quakers.

They took offense at all of this and started showing up, running Co-Op shops. They did the same as the Corporations: Everyting you had to buy, or wanted, was at the Co-Op. Houses (One of the biggest mortgage lenders was a Co-operative bank until Capitalism happened to it), food, clothes, funerals, furniture and banking. You put your wages in to the Co-Op and they'd let you buy everything on lay-away.

And that helped break the Mill's monopoly.

And they also made... chocolate.

The Quakers came to the conclusion that Chocolate was morally correct: It cheered you up, was nourishing, and had no real drawbacks (Hey! Look, white people thinking - They never looked too hard into where cocao was coming from or what the conditions were like. If you're feeling too happy and cheerful go look up the Belgian Congo some time.)

Anyway, you still find these weird little Yorkshire towns with these huge Mill factory buildings, sitting right next to a chocolate factory: Rowntrees (Bought by Nestlé), Mackintoshs, and Cadburys were all Quaker owned co-operative factories with on-site showers, and profit sharing.

Then Capitalism noticed and ate them, yum yum.

Anyway, point being is that there's a working model for how to wreck a Corporation Town: You clone thier operation with a non-profit or Co-Op. They provide the same products and services that Corporations provide, but they put the money back into the pockets of the people, they circulate money instead of accumulating it.

I'm salty about this topic because I live here. I've worked in the Industrial Museum, met the survivors of the Mills (Old age takes no prisoners) and watched the literal colour of my home change from soot black to creamy brown stone, lived in the Mill terraces, watched Nestlé wipe out an entire company and squat in it's corpse while slowly degrading the products to pump up the profits at the consumer's expense and of course run slavery plantations.

Anyway: TL:DR Company towns are slavery and always have been.

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liz-squids

A fun twist on the company town is the use of "Esau scrip" in certain parts of the US: if a man was injured or otherwise unable to work, the company would extend a loan to his wife to feed the family. If the man hadn't gone back to work within 30 days, the loan would come due, and the wife would be forced to pay it back via sex work.

The practice does not appear to have been universal, and was not widely spoken about even in the communities where Esau scrip was issued -- labour historians think that a combination of shame and fear of violence (against themselves or their rapists) kept women quiet. But there is a paper about it here and an article here.

In conclusion, join your union.

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What if there was an apocalypse but some people were really really in denial and optimistic and thinking everything will be back to normal soon?

Like they’d be foraging through the ruins of New York for supplies, shooting raiders in the face and saying “Man, this recession is really bad, huh?”

Image

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

this post, plus that satire one about the increasingly ridiculous callout culture that slowly became more and more accurate

was anything going on in 2017??? did everyone randomly have prophetic visions????????

Another one from 2017 by @nullsynth

the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls

turns out we had the 2020 vision after all

“the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls” is actually a really fucking metal quote and i will be using it in the future

@handoverthehands it’s from Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel. Referenced as well in Spirit of the Radio by Rush and again in Disturbed’s cover of the original.

And that in itself was a reference to the Book of Daniel from the bible, when the words of the prophet were written on the Babylonian palace walls.

In the real world, it’s not the kings and people in power who see the signs of doom, but the poor people in the subway, helpless to stop it.

what happened on this post

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betthearm

Nothing. This is normal for tumblr

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minecraft

psychoanalyzing the gender/identity dichotomy between ice skating and ice hockey and coming to the more objectively correct conclusion that ice hockey is rooted in motherly feminine behavior of protecting the nest and that ice skating is about masculine peacocking of one's own physical prowess in seeking a mate

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61below

*pencil scribble noises*

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I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.

Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.

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helila
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contact-guy

"Look here, Watson; you look regularly done. Lie down there on the sofa, and see if I can put you to sleep.”

He took up his violin from the corner, and as I stretched myself out he began to play some low, dreamy, melodious air- his own, no doubt, for he had a remarkable gift for improvisation. I have a vague remembrance of his gaunt limbs, his earnest face, and the rise and fall of his bow. Then I seemed to be floated peacefully away upon a soft sea of sound, until I found myself in dreamland...

-the Sign of the Four

Or: when your crush is falling for someone else and you’re making one last ditch effort to show your good qualities

Details:

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sometimes I see people calling Aziraphale selfish in an accusatory way, as if it's a flaw that needs to be smoothed out, as if it isn't a trait that is at once defiant and emancipating, as if his selfishness isn't mostly wielded in an empowering and kind way, as if it's categorically bad to want things for yourself, to enjoy them, to have and keep them, as if selfish isn't the most revolutionary thing an angel can be

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When I started choosing embroidery patterns for my store, I was really focused on relatively small, simple designs. Things that would be quick and easy for beginners. But honestly... I think I underestimated just how easy the printed interfacing would be, since it's the needlework version of completing a dot-to-dot patterns. They take time, but none of the constant counting and ripping stitches out.

So that meant I've started to get ambitious. Little designs are still great, but what about a few designs that are dazzling from the other side of the room? As a treat?

Maybe just one of Giovanni Ostaus's shirt opening border designs from 1561?

Some fancy chickens and um... tulips? pomegranates? water fountains?

And just for me, a pattern you won't find in any history book, a little confection I made that I like to call: "Strawberry Fieldmice Forever"

That's only like, half of them. I just dumped a whole bunch onto my Etsy.

Interested?

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A little thing I'm also really appreciating in this rewatch of TNG is something that seems to have all but disappeared in the age of tightly plotted, entirely serialized eight-episode miniseries TV: little slice-of-life moments that don't serve any driving plot purpose except to flesh out the world a little bit.

The scene with Picard's hairdresser earnestly telling him how he should better have handled diplomatic relations with the Romulans doesn't serve a deep narrative purpose in the sense of echoing the themes of the episode or foreshadowing some important moment with that hairdresser. It's there to share a little picture of the world - yes, there are still hairdressers in the future, yes, there's still awkward small-talk with said hairdressers. There's also the nice little reminder in all these domestic scenes that normal life is happening aboard the Enterprise, families and all, which adds to the sense of danger when the ship's in peril and paints the moments of war and conflict as uncomfortable juxtapositions. It's not there to serve the plot, it's there to build the world. And the characters! Picard's mostly-polite demurs, the reveal that Riker has been 100% humoring this guy like "oh man, we should've thought of that, you're so right". There's no reason to include it beyond reveling in the world.

I really miss that about a lot of modern TV - we get these needle-sharp hard dives through a world, coherent and concise and often quite lovely, but trying to take in the scope of the world around that plot is like watching out the window of a fast-moving train: you're getting nothing more than vague impressions at a remove. It's the difference between a guided tour of a museum and a self-guided tour: sometimes, at some museums, you just want to meander around a bit at your own pace and let it wash over you.

Given the choice, I'll almost always fall deeper in love with a show that's criticized for "filler" or "monster of the week" because I know it'll give its characters and its universe time to grow. That's what drew me to TV in the first place - I adore movies, but there's only so much you can do with character and world in 2-3 hours. Lately a lot of TV seems to be seen as a rather long movie with the odd break where you get up to make popcorn midway through. I think there's something unique about the format of television that's being lost in this attempt to emulate the structure of a movie, in the same way that some novels feel like they might as well just have been novellas or short stories. It's not just a longer version of the same thing. It has the potential to be something entirely different.

Give me the bloated 20-odd-episode seasons of the 90s and 00s, where characters grew and changed slowly, by inches, and we had the time to change along with them. I love the new stuff, don't get me wrong, but I sure miss that specific brand of mess.

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yugiohz

do you ever look at your calendar and wonder how you’re supposed to get anything done in time like it is physically impossible to do all of that

needed this

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iibislintu

i've started to intentionally not do a lot of stuff at work until someone reminds me of it. then i can be like, "oh hey thanks for reminding!" and then i'll do it

but there's a lot of stuff that if you don't do it nobody notices/cares, and gradually you learn what those things are

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peatbogbody

literally cannot believe "first ever live action omegaverse show" is not bigger news on tumblr

The live action omegaverse show about racecar drivers!

It's not just A/B/O, it's Isekai A/B/O.

My mistake, these are two different live-action Omegaverse shows.

Pit Babe is a Thai show about Omegaverse racecar drivers.

Couple Or Not is a Chinese show about a guy being Isekai'd into an Omegaverse parallel universe where he's mpreg with his Alpha rival's child.

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