hi, welcome to my blog! please feel free to make yourself at home and stay for awhile ♡

lol no worries!! and my bias is jaemin 😳🤠

NCT127의 두번째 정규앨범!! 많이 사랑해주시고 "2020년" 화이팅 넘치게 보내요!! 아뵤~~~!!

hope this helps!

JENIIIII THANK YOU SO MUCHHHH omg it's so good to hear from you 😭😭😭💖💖💖💖💖🥹 i'm VERY burnt out ngl but the semester ends in a month so...we'll see 🤠🫡 how are you???????? sorry for disappearing on you 🥲

YUUUUUPPP to the detriment of everyone on this platform 🫡🫡🫡

STOPPP YOU'RE SO SWEET!!!!!! 😭 thank you so much for reading, really means a lot! 🥹 and i hope you're doing well! sending you love and whatever brings you comfort ❤️

2023년에도 같이 달려보자~ (쟈 is a cuter way of saying "자") basically means "let's work hard together in 2023 too"

달리다 literally means "to run" (like in a race, like you're trying really hard to beat someone) but in this case it's more like "let's work hard"

i hope this helps!

𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒏𝒄𝒕 𝟏𝟐𝟕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ㅡ

click 〔 here 〕 for the hyung line.

⇢ 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍 feels the most secure when you’re by his side, so he’s quick to notice when you start pulling away from him. at first, it was the texts — on the days you didn't see each other, you'd always text him throughout the day, even though you knew you wouldn't get a written response. it's not that he didn't read them; he was too busy with work to respond, so he'd always react with a thumbs up or a simple "haha." but then, your daily text threads stopped. he knew you had your own life, so he assumed you were too busy to send updates, but the nightly phone calls stopped, too. did he do something wrong? did you find someone else? what the fuck was going on?

he waits until the weekend to talk about it, and he listens attentively as you open up about wanting to be “less clingy and annoying.” he takes your hand in his with soft, cool fingers in a reassuring grip. “i didn’t know you felt this way, y/n,” he says softly. he presses a light kiss to your knuckles before delicately pulling you into a warm embrace. “you aren’t clingy or annoying, baby. you’re the cutest person in the world, and in a perfect world, i’d spend the rest of my life right by your side. nothing is as special as the time we spend together, and that includes reading your daily updates and watching all the tiktoks you send me and falling asleep to your soft snores on our nightly facetime calls. i love it all, and i love you, so don’t pull away from me, please?”

⇢ 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐎 isn’t one to ruminate on the past, mainly because he tends to overthink and overanalyze every little detail in a sticky situation. that being said, it would be a blatant lie to say that he hasn’t looked into your former relationships and partners. he’s matured enough over the years to keep his jealousy in check, but no matter how much time he spends with you, he just can’t seem to shake off a lingering insecurity that’s convinced him he isn’t fulfilling your needs…

which is why he’s all the more surprised when you bring up the same insecurities to him. he listens without judgement or interruption as you express how you’ve been feeling, his heart aching as you tearfully open up about not being enough for him. he waits for you to finish before enveloping you in a tight hug, and he thanks you for being vulnerable with him, reminding you that your feelings and concerns are valid. he gets carried away with listing all of the qualities he loves about you, and he doesn’t stop until you seal his lips yourself with a kiss. “there’s nothing to compare, my love. no one holds a candle to you. you’re the one for me, i mean it!”

⇢ 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊 knew from the moment you met that there was no hope for him; he was going to fall head over heels in love with you. it’s been five years since then, and his affection for you has only increased tenfold. he truly admires everything about you, from your ability to understand and empathize with others, to your independence and strength, to your resilience and readiness to bounce back from any setback, to your creativity and ridiculous sense of humor. of course, he appreciates your beauty (something that he reminds you of very frequently, especially at night 🤠), but more than anything, he loves you for who you are and genuinely cherishes the depth of your connection.

so, unsurprisingly, he’s concerned by how suddenly adamant you are about not wanting to get dressed in front of him, something you’ve been doing for years now. at first, he doesn’t think much of it; you reserve the right to privacy, and he respects that, but it goes on for over a week. he’s sure something is bothering you, and his suspicions are confirmed by how you immediately burst into tears when he asks you about it. he holds you in a firm embrace as you describe how insecure you feel because of your stretch marks and acne scars. nothing hurts his heart more than to hear you disparage yourself, and he waits until you calm down to share his thoughts.

"it's okay to feel that way, babe. but i'm going to be honest...i think you're beautiful no matter what. who cares about stretch marks or acne scars? those are just nouns. they don't mean anything, and they definitely don't take away from how amazing of a human being you are. you’re beautiful, and i can’t get enough of you.”

⇢ 𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍 is the first man you’ve ever met who’s been able to intellectually and humorously keep up with you, and you haven’t given him a chance to escape from your grip ever since (not that he’s ever wanted to, of course). the two of you met in college, and after months of constantly riffing off each other, you made the first move and confessed your feelings in an uncharacteristically sincere way. it’s been a few years since then, and while it’s undeniable that you two have the most fun when you’re together, you start to wonder if he really loves you. it’s not that your relationship was necessarily lacking anything; you two were plenty intimate, both emotionally and physically, but…it still couldn’t hurt to ask, right?

it’s one of those “let’s order pizza and rot on the couch for hours” kinds of nights when you finally find the courage to ask him, “do you love me?” he hears you, but it’s clear he doesn’t take you seriously; he doesn’t even bother looking up from his phone as he answers with a sarcastic “of course not.” he waits for you to respond with some sort of witty comeback, but you don’t. he glances up and nearly drops his phone on his face when he sees you tearing up. he immediately asks if you’re okay, and he solemnly listens as you make light of your insecurities. he pulls you into a rough hug and kisses you, his lips soft and sweet against yours. “shit, baby, i’m sorry. i didn’t know you were feeling this way. of course i love you. y/n, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and i’m sorry that i don’t say it enough. i love you, baby. i love you so much.”

〔 𝟎𝟐:𝟏𝟐𝐚𝐦 〕 “walk out that door, and we’re through, y/n.”

you stop so hard you nearly trip on your own feet.

it’s well known that haechan isn’t the most rational human being, and he often says things he doesn’t mean, but something in his tone makes it clear to you that he’s serious this time.

memories start crashing through your mind like a tidal wave, and you honestly cannot remember the last time you two got through a full night together without fighting. something was always wrong. either you were too sensitive, or he went too far, or you didn’t give him enough freedom, or he didn’t pay you enough attention.

where had things gone wrong?

a shaky sigh escapes your lips, a broken sob caught in the back of your throat. you pivot on your heels, the floor below you creaking as you slowly make your way towards him. you stop just a few inches away from him, not daring to make eye contact with him in fear of the tears pooling in the corner of your eyes spilling down your cheeks.

haechan doesn't skip a single beat when he tangles his fingers in yours and pulls you impossibly close, the heat of his breath tingling your ear. no words are exchanged. it’s just you, him, and the pitter-patter of the rain outside.

you certainly aren't conventional lovers; most, in fact, wouldn't consider your relationship healthy or respectable. you know that you're playing with fire, but you wouldn't trade these moments for the world. they're yours and yours alone, and you find that you can live this way just fine.

⇢ 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐈𝐋 begins thinking about starting a family after noticing how excited you become whenever your neighbors come over with their toddlers. it isn’t a novel idea to him; you have had multiple heartfelt conversations about your dreams for your future together. he drops subtle hints by reminiscing about his childhood experiences and asking for your opinions on raising kids (somehow, it’s always when you show him funny baby tiktoks). you eventually catch his drift, and it isn’t long before your journal is full of potential baby names and your closet of newborn essentials.

⇢ 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍𝐍𝐘 tests the waters to gauge your enthusiasm about starting a family before bringing it to you directly. he makes way too many “our baby would be so much cuter than that” comments whenever he sees babies on tv or social media (or even in public, in which case you’d always smack him and tell him to reign himself in). despite his jokes and playful remarks, he’s serious about parenthood and does his best to quell your anxiety about raising a family. also, be prepared for all the milf jokes.

⇢ 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐆 is apprehensive about starting a family, despite having extensive experience helping his sister with childcare. he’s read way too many birth trauma stories and maternal mortality statistics to be completely comfortable with putting your body through childbirth. he does not want to put you in a dangerous situation and even suggests growing their family through adoption instead. whatever you choose to do, he supports you 110% and does everything he possibly can to prepare for fatherhood.

𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 ♡ 𝐍.𝐉𝐌

〔 𝟎𝟖:𝟎𝟑𝐩𝐦 〕 “it’s okay, y/n, we’ll figure it out together!”

tutor!kun gives you an encouraging pat on the back before he starts re-explaining differential equations for the third time, but the only thing you’re able to focus on is how full your heart is from spending so much time with him.

there’s a part of you that feels guilty for not paying attention, but it’s alright. you’ve understood the material since the day it was taught. you just needed a reason to see your crush.

© 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑. 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃.

〔 𝟎𝟏:𝟎𝟐𝐚𝐦 〕 the truth hits you harder than you could’ve ever prepared yourself for, so much so that you’re not quite sure what to do with yourself when your husband reveals his dirty little secret.

now that everything has been exposed, it’s wild to think that you’d missed all of the red flags. it’d been weeks since he had stopped coming home in time for dinner, since he had stopped answering your calls after 6pm, since he had stopped touching you altogether.

it’s like the love had just...

disappeared.

“honey, say something. anything,” doyoung desperately pleads, his hands finding yours. suspense lingers heavily in the living room, almost as if all hell were to break loose if either of you were to let out a single sound.

you silently resign yourself to the chaos that’s bound to ensue, and you finally release the breath you had been holding in for what had felt likes hours. you can feel the weight of it roll from your shoulders when you finally muster up the courage to speak.

“what is there to say?” you ask, your voice just a feather above a whisper.

he lifts his head slowly, his eyes daring to match yours. “curse at me, scream at me, just do something.” there’s something about his gaze that sends your heart into panicked overdrive, and with one smooth motion, you rip your hands from his grip.

“what’s the point, doyoung? nothing will change the fact that you broke this marriage,” you snap, the bite of your voice cutting through the tension like a freshly honed blade. tears blur your vision as you finally allow yourself to give into the heartache. “nothing i say will change anything.”

he visibly winces, and he drops to his knees and bows his head in what seems like remorse. “y/n, i’m sorry. i’m sorry, baby. i love you so much, and i’m so, so sorry,” he repeats in a litany of pitiful contrition. 

as much as you want to believe in his performance, doubt starts pooling in the pit of your stomach. “doyoung, stop it.” you swallow a sob that’s creeping its way up the back of your throat, and you cross your arms over your chest, almost as if it would be enough to keep you from completely falling apart. “don’t you fucking dare say that you love me. you wouldn’t have done this if you loved me. you wouldn’t have kept fucking her if you loved me.” 

the silence that follows is thick and stagnant. he presses his lips together into a straight line. something moist plops against the back of his hand, then again, and again, and it isn’t until he sniffles that he realizes he’s crying. he clutches the thin fabric of his slacks, and he ducks his head in an even lower bow. “i’m sorry, y/n. i don’t deserve your forgiveness or your love or another second of your time, but i truly am so, so fucking sorry. i’m sorry, y/n,” he whispers in a hushed sob, his voice breaking as his lips form your name.

a deep ache thrums through your chest, and you unthinkingly slide off the couch to the floor in front of him. you wipe his tears with shaky fingers, and he immediately crashes into you, his arms enveloping you in a tight embrace as he chokes out a deep sob.

the sound that escapes past his lips sends a chill down your spine. kim doyoung has always been composed, intentional with every breath he takes. this is the most unbalanced you’ve ever seen him, and it cuts through your heart like a dagger. you don’t think you’ve ever felt a pain as devastating as this before. but if you’re sure about anything, it’s that you’ve never been this broken.

© 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑. 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃.

𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 | 이동혁

Every relationship comes with a story. This is ours.

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟎𝟓 ; in which you & Haechan tell your respective sides of your love story.

# 𝑫𝑼𝑹𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵 :: 17 minutes (~3.3k words)

# 𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺 :: dark thoughts, insecurities

“Can you introduce yourselves?”

“How long have you been together?”

“How did the two of you meet?”

𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 | 이태용

Every relationship comes with a story. This is ours.

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟎𝟒 ; in which you & Taeyong tell your respective sides of your love story.

# 𝑫𝑼𝑹𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵 :: ~11 minutes (2.2k words)

# 𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺 :: insecurity, infertility

“Can you introduce yourselves?”

ahhh thank you so much for reading!! you're too kind 😭 i genuinely enjoy writing these episodes for the members, so i'm very very happy that you enjoyed it! it's based on a very sweet youtube series called "both sides", i recommend checking it out 🥺

〔 𝟎𝟗:𝟒𝟒𝐚𝐦 〕 the morning sunlight greets you with a warm caress as it peaks through the narrow cracks in your blinds. it’s the heat that initially rouses you to consciousness, but the fact that you aren’t alone in bed is what really startles you awake.

you jolt upright and still the thoughts swirling around in your head into awareness, your eyes involuntarily squinting to adjust to the brightness. “jeno,” you whisper, draping your hand over his shoulder in a gentle shake.

a quiet yawn catches in his throat as he lifts his arms up towards the ceiling in a long, well-needed stretch. he shifts his weight to his side, blinking his vision to focus as he reaches over towards you. “g’morning,” he murmurs, his voice husky and heavy with sleep. he laces his fingers with yours, giving your hand a light squeeze before pulling you to his chest in a soft embrace.

i remember you!! a lot has happened since then, so i ended up having to turn that job down. i'm currently working for the CDC and finishing up my degree, but the plan is to apply to schools and earn my drph in reproductive/maternal health. i'm kind of in the existential dread phase of my life :(

anyways, i appreciate this message! i'm sorry for getting back to you so lateㅠㅠ i'd love to hear more about how you've been doing! wishing you the best 🫶🏻

으구으구 이제 성인이 됐구나~ 너무 늦지만 생일축하해!! 메시지 보내줘서 고마워 🫶🏻 and thank you! 바다님두 건강하게 잘 지내면 좋겠어~