wait i performed abnormal behaviors. fuuuuuuuck

group gentle weeping begins in 6 beautiful minutes

my mellon collie ass could never face the infinite sadness

*covered in blood & in visible distress* i just need to write a list

"happy april fools day!" wouldnt even notice with the type of shit i got goin on

For meals, my boyfriend has been eating wads of lettuce and raw turkey slices rolled up into tubes, and then biting chunks off a block of asiago cheese, followed by biting chunks off buttered hamburger pretzel buns.

This mfer has been separately consuming all of the ingredients for a burger and NEVER ONCE considered sitting down to actually cook a hamburger. I need to stress that it's not because making a burger takes effort he doesn't want to spend cooking, he literally never even considered that these ingredients could be consumed in the form of a burger.

When I sent him a recipe for smash burgers he said he would need a skillet. I said "Didn't you bury a skillet in the backyard" and he responded "hang on let me ask." A few moments passed and he said "No it was a frying pan."

"hang on let me ask" followed by a few moments of silence and a confident answer is a whole ass plural mood

He lives in an apartment with other people. People whose cookware he has destroyed and buried in the backyard.

any particular reason he does that??

He, and I quote "likes to bury things"

new CDC guidelines detail how killing yourself can effectively prevent you and others from infection