I'm back on my bullshit.

never stab the devil in the back

at my job we have to go through a training program that teaches us the library of congress classification system, and when i was first being trained my boss started to boot it up and she gave me a really anxious and guilty look and said “listen, i’m really sorry in advance, there’s nothing i can do about this, just…. just try to get through it” and i was like lol what’s she talking about and then the program loaded and i was greeted with a deliriously funny-looking photoshopped wizard with glowing eyes pointing at some intro message like “AH YES, JUST AS THE PROPHECY FORETOLD… APPRENTICE, YOU COME AT A TIME OF MOST DIRE NEED… YOU MUST LEARN OUR WAYS” and my boss just looked at me helplessly and was like “i’m so sorry. it’s like two hours long.”

thankfully it wasn’t an elaborate fever dream and i have found screenshots

did you guys know about this oc stuff. you can just make a guy. big if true

but watch out. theyre in your brain now

im jesus

judas no

this is the funniest fuckin post on this website

It's hilarious to me to imagine Sonic could not keep a regular phone for longer than a week without breaking it

Unrelated: I have also been injected with praying mantis DNA

Do other writers ever get this like, hyper-specific dialogue exchange drop into their brains and you know exactly where these character are standing and what they’re doing and how they’re saying these words but that’s all you get. You don’t have much other context and this specific moment that exists only at this time in your headspace??

Birthday date 💖

when I say my jaw was on the floor

Skeletor has forever destroyed our ability to come up with voices for skeleton characters.

this is like saying NASA has forever destroyed our ability to wonder what it's like on the moon. like we can still use our powers of imagination if we want to but the question's pretty much fucking settled.

The Beast that Bothers

i honestly think the "oc dont steal" brand of humor died as hard as it did because literally nothing will be as funny as Σario

nothing could top this

I wish everybody was anxious enough to be as spacially aware in the grocery store as me

Im not going to lie it has me feeling like Neo from the matrix at times. No one is unpredictable to me... Your movements were all calculated ahead of time. And all possible movements you could have made. Nothing gets past this guy

Link in bio. What will he learn?

"the early 2010s were better" no they weren't. "hey soul sister" was on the radio.

stereo. The way you move ain’t fair you know.