why didn't anyone tell me it was lesbian visibility week

Forgive me, great Fish, for assuming your gender and believing you were a dude! I bet your forgiveness, oh great scaled lesbefish!!

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

So I'm currently away at college, and my mother has been sending me regular updates on my son's shenanigans. Apparently, when he wants attention he blocks the TV.

i thot the beatles died

I just want everyone to know my wife has been laughing at this post for like three full minutes, she’s literally in tears and in three years together I’ve never seen her laugh this hard????

my wife now

The thing is 8.7 IS BIG. Most people don't know that cocks on average are barely 6 inches and most receivers are on average sized to take FIVE INCHES. So 8 inches is entering OWIE territory. You gotta do some fancy positions to take more than 6 and even then it'll only be an extra half inch or so. Unless you're actually into getting your cervix pummeled or having your intestines ruptured...you don't want more than 7 inches. There are of course Outliers. But you know those are statistical anomalies. Spiders Georg and all.

So unless you have a Cooch/Ass of Holding, you ain't taking all of Halsin's bear cock.

Srsly...porn has given people a ridiculous idea of what is considered "big".

What city pigeons talk about.

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In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

women will say “hear me out” and show u a photo of pyramid head and then tumblr users will go “this is a perfectly normal man and an ice cold take”

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

An occupational hazard of cab driving I had not previously considered

I love that the nola problem here is not “ghosts in my taxi cab,” but “ghosts are FUCKING BROKE DEAD BASTARDS & I GOT BILLS”

Horror is when ghosts get into cabs and scare drivers Magical realism is when cab companies have to develop policies to prevent ghastly fare-theft

In a book about the tsunami in Japan in 2011, the writer talked about how there was a huge increase in reports of ghostly activity. Apparently in Japan treating ghosts rudely is basically considered the stupidest thing you could possibly do. For months after the tsunami, taxi drivers would pick up a passenger only to have them give an address in one of the devastated areas. The cab driver often looked up halfway to the destination to find their fare had disappeared. Not wanting to be impolite to the person (even if they were dead) they’d drive to the address, open the door to let them out, then drive away.

Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad

malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated

smad.

there are two types of people

i’ve only seen this legendary post in screenshots

It’s always so cool when you find these legendary posts and the OPs are not deactivated. It’s like, the gods still walk among us.

The synonyms lady and the smad guy are married…………….. we are gonna make it bros

woah

A beautiful marriage

This made me bust out laughing

Peer-reviwed from @myturtlegotjacked

Tumblr won’t let me add this tiktok to another post about Jack & Jill dances but I’m full of spite and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever seen so have it anyway, the amazing impromptu Mamma Mia dance 💃🏼

Here is the link to the full dance on Youtube which I've watched several times just for Nicole's sheer joy in dancing.

The fact that Jack and Jill dances are all entirely improvised and partners randomly matched and music randomly picked just always impresses the hell out of me.

It’s our duty to pass down our culture. Sing it from the rooftops. Bishounen……