I love you. I love you.

All 👏 dogs 👏 are 👏 good 👏 dogs 

All 👏 cats 👏 are 👏 good 👏 cats

All 👏 spiders 👏 are 👏 terrifying 👏 and 👏 need 👏 to 👏 stay 👏 away 👏 from 👏 me 👏 but 👏 are 👏 still 👏 inherently 👏 good

These are my favorite parents in any movie ever.

me: ah, I’m just being paranoid…………………. (squints) or is it my intuition

me whenever anybody says that they like me/that i’m their friend

People should stop sinning

I went to smell my bra this morning to see if it was gross and for some reason the instructions got fucked up on the way from my brain and I ended up putting it to my ear and just listening to it for a second. Idk how my brain thought that would help, like if I could hear the ocean it’s time to put on a clean bra

Me hunting with my vampire friends: cracking open a boy with the cold ones

This tweet was sent from the future

you ever wonder how many people you’re in the “we’re friends but i would kiss you if you asked” club with

Life problems I anticipated as a child:

- quicksand - ghosts

Life problems I did NOT anticipate as a child:

- the crushing sense of failure associated with botched social interactions.

every day we walk further from god’s light