hi, i was wondering if i could get some advice or a second opinion from someone who isn't a guy. i have anxiety and one of the things i get quite obsessive thoughts about is my sexuality, whether im secretly a lesbian in denial, and i don't know how to figure out if i am or not. i currently identify as bisexual and i have a boyfriend that i am attracted to (i think) and i can imagine being in each others lives for a long time, however i still have a lot of thoughts about what if i don't actually want to be with him, and what if it's just comp het causing me to feel like i need to be with a man. i have read the masterdoc, and some things resonate but at this point i don't know if it's down to anxiety or what and it's killing me. im sorry for dumping this all here, i just need a hand
hey anon, sorry for taking a while to respond. I have OCD myself and deal with similar anxiety-related thoughts. I think anxiety can really really make you second-guess yourself and doubt your relationships, and while the masterdoc can be helpful that isn’t the be all end all. I think some things in it will prob overlap between bi/lesbian women because the lines aren’t always so clear and there is really a lot of overlap between those communities and our experiences.
if you can, I would really, really recommend speaking to a therapist or other professional because anxiety is a bitch and it is really hard to be alone with those thoughts all the time. if you are attracted to your bf, enjoy being with him, and can see a future with him, then I think that’s enough. obviously you deserve to figure things out with yourself and your anxiety, but it does sound like it is interfering with your perspective on this. I would just try to not fixate on it too much (easier said than done, I know) and seek some professional help to work on things if you can <3