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Lavellington

@lavellington

Lisa. 30. Irish woman, based in the UK. She/her. Dirk Gently, Good Omens, Sherlock Holmes, Star Trek, etc. My fic is here if you're into that. Header by @anansigalpals, icon by me.
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when lizzo said “self love is survival” and when hannah gadsby said “do you understand what self-deprecation means when it comes from somebody who already exists in the margins? it’s not humility. it’s humiliation” and when mitski said “i used to rebel by destroying myself, but realized that’s awfully convenient to the world. for some of us our best revolt is self preservation”

when audre lorde said “caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare”

when Jenny Slate tweeted, “As the image of myself becomes sharper in my brain&more precious, I feel less afraid that someone else will erase me by denying me love”

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ziggyplayedd

things that made me stop wanting to die that require no effort whatsoever

  • change the color used to highlight text on your laptop
  • move the pictures on your wall
  • stack whatever clutter is in your room into piles even if you don’t have time to clean it all
  • slightly vary your commute, even just by one street
  • change where you sit and scroll aimlessly on your phone even if it’s only to the chair in your room instead of your bed
  • drink water or juice out of a wine glass in the morning because nothing is real
  • shower with the lights off, without music
  • buy $3 flowers at trader joe’s—they look bad next to the more expensive ones but they look so good in your room
  • start typing things you don’t post into your notes. your thoughts can be worth documenting even if you don’t deem them worth sharing
  • wake up super early just once. you don’t have to make it a habit it’s just extra satisfying to go to bed that night
  • listen to the entirety of your favorite album from 2015

Almost all of these are about variety. Humans need stimulation! We need enrichment! We literally cannot do the same thing every day!

The other day I was feeling miserable, so I hopped on a bus and rode it all the way back to where I’d started, and my brain, which had finally had some proper stimulation via new environments, was suddenly ready to go again!

This is why taking walks/drives and trying new hobbies are good for you! Don’t turn yourself into a sad zoo animal! You need some pumpkins to roll around in your enclosure!

ITS BACK!!!!!

god i fucking love the quote “dont turn yourself into a sad zoo animal” it has really inspired me!

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“We chose the term “asexual” to describe ourselves because both “celibate” and “anti-sexual” have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad. “Asexual”, as we use it, does not mean “without sex” but “relating sexually to no one”. This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression. Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.”

Note the date, people:

That’s 1972

29 years before AVEN was started online,

and 47 years before the present.

And that’s only the date that Manifesto was written, so asexuals as members of a community must have existed at least some time before that.

So, no: we are not just Tumblr trenders. Get out of here with that.

Also note how this clearly states that the words asexual was chosen specifically because others words implied that sexuality was bad or that the person might have made a “superior” choice in giving it up, and that IS NOT part of being asexual. 

Associating sexuality and sexual attraction to something bad has never been inherently part of asexuality unlike what aphobic people on here keep saying. It has always been their own internal shame and issues about sex that they keep projecting on to us.

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inkskinned

ive been on tumblr a long time and i remember when everyone said “oh don’t romanticize mental illness” and it was agreed that doing that was gross and a good way to kill people indirectly

but somehow we’ve come full circle and there are people who legit defend their right to be anti-recovery there are people who don’t want to get better and spread the idea that you can’t get better as if it’s gospel and it’s fucking frightening to me bc nobody seems to want to say “hey? this is toxic and untrue and is your disease speaking, and it’s not something you should accept.”

and i feel like every recovery post gets about 500 of these people saying “this isn’t something that will work” “cool karen i’m depressed” “maybe it worked for you but it won’t work for other people” and that’s… just… im so sorry if you’re 15. i’m sorry if you’re in high school and watching grown adults tell you it doesn’t get better. that nobody says that with time and help and patience the world stops being so heavy, that accepting your illness as a fact is one thing but accepting it as the only way to be is just wrong, that you can learn to live with it and still find some degree of “happy”…. if i had seen this shit back when i was … oh god starting at 12 when i was already self-harming …. i think i’d have actually honest-to-god killed myself. not a joke, not a funny tumblr punchline, i would have actually just killed myself. 

i’m saying this right here and right now to the adults on this site. if you for any reason shoot down positivity that’s causing no harm - you might have indirectly worsened someone else’s condition, and you should try and do better in the future. if you find it necessary to tell people “recovery is a lie”, you need to do better. i know everyone has different circumstances, but i also know that mental illness behaves in such a way that everyone thinks they can’t recover.  if you feel like you should be spreading the Word Of Relapse, you are causing toxic language to be normalized and you need to do better. 

im team “cool karen ive got depression and that means i’m going to try this because i’ve got to try something” i’m team “romanticize recovery” i’m team “it isn’t working now but it might in the future and it’s worth staying to find out” im team “hey this didn’t work for me but it might help somebody else out”

fuck guys it shouldn’t be an unpopular opinion to say “i don’t want any of you to die”.

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stephrc79

Oh thank fuck someone finally said it!

I’m sometimes very leery of tumblr’s tendency to assume things are fixed traits and build identities around them, for exactly this reason.

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baixueagain

When I was a teenager I believed it was impossible to ever heal, or even cope. It very nearly did kill me. Despair is tempting, but it is a false god.

I see some folks in the notes talking about “but I have XYZ and it’s lifelong, how am I supposed to be pro-recovery?” And I want to throw out there that recovery isn’t always about reaching some end goal of “cured,” recovery is about getting better and getting to somewhere manageable. I have some conditions both physical and mental that are lifelong, that won’t go away. For example, I can never un-traumatize myself. However, I’m a lot more recovered than I was a month ago, a year ago, ten years ago. I don’t have panic attacks as frequently, I’m more knowledgeable of my triggers so I can avoid them easier, I’m better at setting boundaries and taking care of myself. There’s even small things, like how I do my laundry before I have no clothes left (usually.)

Recovery looks different for everyone. Maybe your recovery isn’t being able bodied and mental illness free, but just being able to enjoy a night out with friends every once in a while.

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imp

some of you never had an intense homoerotic years-long friendship in your early to mid teens that culminated in a dramatic friend breakup and it shows.

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