Problematic And Tedious

I will honestly never forgive y’all for going crazy over kylo ren. like u literally had poe and finn and u chose kylo. that’s like saying u would fuck jar jar binks over anakin or obi. rip to ur taste in men but I am different

"Aroace barbie exists” I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

"She’s right," they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 2nd row stands: Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie

No bc you’re telling me “Anthony leaves smosh and has to work though and overcome his issues relating to smosh that stem a lot from that beautiful thing (smosh) that was supposed to be just him and Ian ended up turning into something he didn’t recognize which made him feel a lot of resentment because he felt like something had been taken from him once the company that took over bastardized him and Ian’s creation so he decided to leave but not before suggesting that Ian leave with him but Ian doesn’t want to let go of smosh *bc it’s their thing and he doesn’t want to lose that* so he wants to collab but Anthony cuts all contact bc it’s all too painful for him which makes Ian sad to the point he listens to *their song* and sends Anthony a message about it trying to cope with what perceives is the end of their relationship (in addition to him becoming bitter bc he feels abandoned by Anthony) meanwhile Anthony is experiencing the same worries because he feels like he’s lost his childhood best friend and worries they’ve grown apart too much with how strained their relationship became during smosh and they both feel like the relationship is unable to be saved and repaired and that chapter is done for good until they end up reconnecting because of Ian’s friend which leads to them hanging out and suddenly because of their individual growth that’s occurred in that time span Anthony realizes the magic is still there and it’s like it never left and so one day at a party Ian asks Anthony about buying smosh back when he’s already been contemplating it and starts going on a 30 minute tangent about his plans for smosh and so they decide to buy smosh back and return to making videos together and drop the news on their fans with no warning and Anthony interviews Ian on his channel in his longest interview yet and Anthony tears up multiple times and they seem so at ease around each other and it closes with Ian saying “If we burn it to the ground, I’m happy to do that with you” as they softly look at each other and get ready to take on this journey together” is real life and NOT a fanfiction? Because that sounds exactly like fanfiction to me

“I’m like, ‘Okay, she’s a doll. She’s a plastic doll. She doesn’t have organs. If she doesn’t have organs, she doesn’t have reproductive organs. If she doesn’t have reproductive organs, would she even feel sexual desire?’ No, I don’t think she could,” Robbie said. “She is sexualized. But she should never be sexy. People can project sex onto her. Yes, she can wear a short skirt, but because it’s fun and pink. Not because she wanted you to see her butt.”

Margot Robbie said Ace Barbie Rights with her whole chest.

one fun thing about being a teacher in march 2023 is that chess is a literal epidemic among teens. we are starting to have meetings about how we can STOP teenagers from playing too much chess which is like if we were trying to figure out how to stop them from reading for fun. When i was in high school five years ago chess was nerd shit only but now it is transcending every social and language barrier and is absolutely rampant. kids aren’t on their phone texting in class anymore it’s ONLY chess.com. kids are playing chess on their phones while playing chess in real life. this is still better than tiktok because at least the kids are developing an attention span from this

the worst part of this is that they’re on chess dot com instead of getting an education. but the BEST part of this is watching high schoolers develop the weirdest goddamn strategies I’ve ever seen. One of my students invented something he calls the “evil advisor gambit” where he gets a third person to give out constant terrible advice to both teams hoping that his opponent falls for it straight-up or that his opponent thinks HE fell for it and will act accordingly thus worsening their own strategy. he has won every game he has been able to pull off a coordinated evil advisor gambit in. this is chess innovation never before seen in its 700 years on earth

i have a friend who has kinda bad eczema on their right hand but their left hand is fine and thats because acidity makes eczema worse and that includes vaginal acidity and my friend is both a lesbian and a slut so they finger a lot of people and that fucks up the hand they use (their right hand). Anyways do you think BBC sherlock would deduce that by looking at my friend’s hands

nothing couldve prepared me for the last sentence

saw new users saying they don't block bots bc "they inflate follower count 😌" and "what's the point" like who's gonna tell them (1) Noone cares about follower count and you can't even see it and (b) You have to bc they are using you to legitimize their dodgy links. They don't care about your aesthetic cat pics and lightning mcqueen fanfiction. They are using you.

i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, “go ahead and take one, bitch.”

he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes “what did you just say? how do you know my name?” so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, “…. bitch?” and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.

i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says “go ahead and take one, mitch.” im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show

Thinking today about a post I saw some time ago about how wearing glasses shouldn't be considered a disability because it's "socially acceptable" and also about how I haven't been able to update my prescription for 2 years because I just cannot afford an optometrist visit or new frames.

I understand the impulse to say bad vision doesn't count because glasses are such a normal part of our society we don't even think of them as a disability tool anymore, bur the fact is if something happens to my glasses, I am Fucked. I can't drive. I can barely do everyday tasks. Working is going to be impossible. Even if I scrounge the money to get new frames, I have to wait WEEKS for them to arrive. And what happens to me in that time frame? Nothing good, I can tell you that. I literally need this tool to function on a daily basis, because my vision is bad enough to seriously disrupt my life without them.

If anything, glasses are a great example of what society could be if we took MORE disability seriously. If we had actual tools so readily available and normalized you saw them everywhere. But that doesn't make me not disabled, because the minute I lose access to that tool, I can't function.

Literally no one:

Not a single soul:

Male authors:

[Image text from a novel:

"I like your mother. You have your mother's breasts."

"Her breasts."

"Great stand-up tits," he said.]

sorry I think we’re sleeping on

This author is either writing a parody or they’re an alien

this is Cosmopolis by Don DeLillo. it’s a really weird novel about a man going to get a haircut that’s also a pretty explicit criticism of the 1%.

the main character is a multimillionaire who’s so fixated on money and materialism that he’s basically forgotten how to be a normal human being and connect with people. that conversation above is him talking to his new wife. at one point, he even says something like, “this is good. we are having a conversation. this is what people do.”

there is an IMAGE in my HEAD and i cannot DRAW IT. hatred and rage.

there is a CONVERSATION in my HEAD and I cannot WRITE IT. rage and hatred

there is a VIDEO in my HEAD And i cannot ANIMATE IT. hage and ratred

There is a GAME in my HEAD and I cannot CODE IT. Ratred and hage.

there is a SONG in my HEAD and I cannot COMPOSE IT. haged and rate.

one of my FAVORITE favorite things that improv and/or collaborative storytelling like ttrpgs and online roleplay allow for is accidental foreshadowing. when things that seemed and were in fact innocuous at the time suddenly become significant due to their unintentional connection to another, later story beat that no one was aware it could be traced back to from until it happened? that fucks so unbelievably hard i go apeshit every time

fathers casually dropping the craziest lore of their lives in the middle of a conversation

My brother and I trying to piece together our dad’s life based on random info he casually brings up once and then never mentions again

When my great grandpa was on his deathbed my grandpa (his son) was with him and says his last words were “I told them they shouldn’t have hanged that woman. Well by damn they’re paying now” and no one in my family knows what the fuck that means

My grandmother was harassing me about the dangers of online dating, and my grandpa was like, “Oh fer crying out loud, leave her alone. My parents met online, she’ll be fine.” Apparenly my great grandparents were both telegraph operators who would chat over the line in between messages and fell in love and my great grandma moved halfway across the country to marry a dude she met over the telegraph.

No one alive in the family had ever heard this story until like 70+ years later when I happened to start seeing a dude from OK Cupid.

unrequited love for siblings is the saddest thing you could ever portray on its own but over the garden wall said what if the kid is like the sweetest most kindhearted five year old you could imagine and he loves his brooding wistful bitch of an older brother sooo so much and enough to offer up his life in exchange for his brothers when his older brother saw him this whole time as just an annoying step sibling at best and a nuisance at worst and you cant be too mad cause hes also a kid and then when he finally figures it all out it saves them both, the decision to leave lethargy and the rot of melancholy behind and take the love he already has as proof the world is worth it after all and aaa a a. aaaaaa. aaaaaaa. aaa. what a sweet story. what a lovely thing.

i had a vision