for the pairing + au ask meme: mckirk + role reversal
Dear God I didn’t even know I needed this until now.
- Jim as a young, bright CMO. He’s really good at his work, with steady hands and he’s incredibly resourceful, but he’s also incredibly reckless when it comes to his own safety. He’d run head first into danger in order to save a young ensign from bleeding to death.
- Captain McCoy would be so stressed about this that he’s taken a rank in healing. And when Jim inevitably goes down (and he does, more than once), Bones can sit at his side, listening to Jim’s instructions and patching him up whilst his doctor slips in and out of consciousness.
- Bones would frequently point out that, according to Starfleet Regulations, rather than beaming into danger, they could also just leave. And he has done that, refusing to send his crew down to fetch a stupid artifact for the sole purpose of having it in Starfleet’s possession. He’s gotten very skilled at ignoring Jim’s: “C’mon Cap, what’s the worst that could happen? I’ll go down with them. It’ll be fun!”
- Despite being in the heat of danger way more often than a doctor should, Jim gets out of most missions without ever killing another life. The day that he does kill, it’s to save his Captain’s life, who’s face-to-face with a gigantic alien who’s killed at least three ensigns already, and the remaining away-party crew is occupied with other aliens. The creature doesn’t respond to a stun, and Jim has no choice. It weighs heavily on his shoulders that he’s killed someone, and for the longest time he’s lost that spark in his eyes Bones just adores about him. It doesn’t return until Bones tells him Jim’s phaser misfired, and it was actually Bones who killed the thing.
This may or may not be a lie. - Bones visits Jim in medbay at least once a week with severe headaches. Jim diagnoses him with severe stress all the time and tells him to take it slow. Cue to them bickering about whose fault it is that Bones is just a permanently stressed Captain.
- Bones also frequently visits Jim in medbay to keep his own medical skill up to date, and mostly to listen to Jim’s stories. He’d just sit in Jim’s office, watching Jim speak so vividly and excitedly about this exotic alien he saved from getting his arm amputated. Or how he helped a woman give birth amidst this big sandstorm on this Class M planet. And just hearing Jim talk so excitedly about saving lives just makes him fall so madly in love with him every time, despite the unnecessarily gory details.
- Eventually, he just visits medbay with fake illnesses so that he can have Jim look him over. Careful fingers touching his arms, his forehead, or wherever his current illness takes place. Though after Bones’ vitals are fine three times in a row, Jim catches on. He makes up some terrible fake diagnosis to scare the hell out of Bones, though subtly suggesting making out to be the only cure. Bones happily accepts, and visits medbay with the same symptoms a lot more often.
“COME ON CAPTAIN, IT’LL BE FUN.”
okay, but this makes me wonder how Jim’s (or would it have been Bones’?) death in the second movie would have been different in this au
But can you imagine Bones dying, though? The grumpy Captain, permanently stressed and tired. The Captain who said “fuck you” to Starfleet once and refused to send down an away party to this dangerous Class M planet for this dumb artifact. The Captain who’s always yelling at the doctor and often proclaims he’s so done with this shit.
That very Captain would still give his life for his crew in a heartbeat. And in that moment, heading into the core room to prevent the ship from crashing and killing all of his crew, and possibly thousands of innocent people, it’s such an easy choice to make. Both a logical and an emotional one.
Bones would be terrified of dying, but at peace with his choice. And Spock is with him, at the other side of the glass, and it’s soothing. It makes the burning sensation of his body shutting down on him a little more bearable. His crew is safe, and in good hands with Spock as their new captain.
But then Jim rushes in, and so many feelings rush to Bones’ head, though his body doesn’t know how to speak them all. He leans against the glass, watching Spock struggle to keep Jim from opening the glass door that keeps them separated. Spock, who has the strength of at least three humans, literally struggles because Jim is desperate. He’s upset. He’s as far from calm as he can be. It isn’t until Bones mutters a tired “Damn it, Jim!” that Jim listens, and sinks to his knees in front of the glass. Bones watches those big blue eyes, glassy with tears, and the last thing he registers before he dies is that this is probably the first headache in a long time that isn’t Jim’s fault.
Jim isn’t quietly mourning. He’s emotionally compromised. He’s angry. At Khan for killing his best friend. At Bones for dying on him. At Spock for not letting him go out and kill Khan. And he’s angry at himself for not saving Bones. He trashes his office until he’s exhausted, sliding down against the wall with his hands in his hair. Only then he notices the tribble, and it takes him long to register what that means. When he does realize, he climbs back to his feet and gets to work. Uhura and Spock bring in Khan, and it takes every inch of restraint not to kill this superhuman, but Jim manages to save Bones’ life.
And when Bones wakes up, Jim is there by his side. He’s dressed in white, and with that blond hair and bright blue eyes, Bones knows for sure he’s dead, because Jim looks like an angel.
“Don’t be so melodramatic. You were barely dead,” Jim says, scanning Bones’ vitals. “But I saved you.” He adds, because that’s typically Jim. Hearing his voice is an instant reminder he’s not dead, because already a headache is brewing in the back of Bones’ head. “Tell me,” Jim continues, putting away his instruments and instead, just places a careful hand on Bones’ arm, “are you feeling homicidal, power mad, despotic?”
“Not yet,” Bones speaks, his voice rough from being down for a while, “but that’s because you’ve only said about 20 words to me so far. Give me half an hour.”
Jim laughs, his smile bigger and brighter than Bones is used to, and his hand just lightly squeezes Bones’ arm. “You’ll be your old self in a few days. Just on time for our five year away mission, too. It’s going to be fun.”
That instantly dampers Bones’ mood, and, yes, there’s that headache he didn’t miss. “Five years in space with you. God help me.”
