jidashia reblogged
happy old gnoll
jidashia reblogged
all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.
Isn’t Lady Gaga bisexual?
yes that is indeed why she's on the list of famous women who like women
why have multiple people reblogged this with some horse-assed "um actually most of these people are bi or pan" did I fucking stutter I said they like girls. what is your point. I'm going to kill you.
the icon is because of this post
POV: you make a good post and then encounter tumblr reading comprehension
ericrmalice-deactivated20240323
btw to just clarify for anyone who sees this reblog of this post
op is basically saying something along the lines of "yea ik taylor swift is bi but like. why is she y'all's only lgbtq+ pop icon when there are all these other lgbtq+ people in the pop scene???"
i might have worded this badly but hopefully i got the main point across
hi op here I certainly did not fucking say Taylor Swift is bi
Op is saying that liking Taylor for being QUEER or Lgbtqia+ is not a bad thing, but to also know she is not the only one.
He did not call anyone in the original post lesbian bi or pan.
He did call two people NB
you have to be fucking with me there's no way
jidashia reblogged
Congratulations to Marcille DungeonMeshi for achieving Pathetic Little Man status on tumblr, a hard glass ceiling for many female characters to break. I look forward to calling you my sopping wet beast and poor little meow meow for fandom days to come. Keep trucking babygirl, you'll bag Falin one day
jidashia reblogged
jidashia reblogged
I was avoiding my homework earlier so I ended up searching a bunch of info about ADHD and
Are the neurotypicals okay?
Anyway, large bastard and I have fully drift compatible ADHD and after that search I had to go and find him and tell him how glad I am that's we're a disaster together. Then I raced through my homework and went to turn it in and found out that the professor pushed the due date back by three days.
Girl help the radfem swiftie is getting gender essentialism on my post about how it's shitty to blame relationship problems on your partner in lieu of communicating.
Ma'am. Ma'am. I feel like you might not actually be exhibiting any empathy in your statements here.
I shouldn't have to make this explicit but if you think that half of the population of the planet is irresponsible and untrustworthy and stupid and entitled because of their gender you are an asshole and you should reconsider the things you read and people you interact with that led you to you holding such bigoted, harmful, and unkind opinions.
Also this is, like, very clearly buying into the ableism presented in the screenshots by taking it as read that the ADHD partners in these scenarios are being "shitty" or "toxic" or "bored" or "unfaithful."
ADHD causes some very clear, very well known interpersonal issues in people of all genders and it is possible to recognize that
- "People with ADHD experience relationship difficulties as a result of executive dysfunction" and
- "People with ADHD are often infantalized, demonized, ridiculed, and dismissed by neurotypical partners"
Can both be true statements.
And that's *aside* from the fact that neurodivergent people generally, and neurodivergent women especially, are more likely to be victims of IPV than neurotypicals are, and that many neurodivergent people who are abused or treated poorly by their partners are DARVO'd specifically on the basis of their neurodivergence.
Just. Like. Way to miss the point in every direction.
Jesus. Is that account satire? The combination of Dworkin quotes and Swiftie drivel makes it really hard to parse.
Ah yes, men with ADHD, those entitled monsters who are (checks notes) *significantly* more likely than neurotypical men to end up incarcerated, have an elevated risk of early mortality, are less likely to have completed college, and are more likely to be chronically underemployed.
That's who we should watch out for, those are the master manipulators of there trying to entrap noble honest sweet kind women into relationships so they can treat them badly.
AND "your ADHD is fake, you're the problem."
Really, really impressively wretched opinions on display in under a hundred words. You used to have to go to Twitter to find this level of radioactive take in such a short format.
Btw it wasn't the ADHD that made me rude and disrespectful. I practiced hard to get to this level of assholery.
Also, question by question:
- Does ADHD make you rude and disrespectful? No, but behaviors that many people consider rude and disrespectful are fairly common in people with ADHD; this can be addressed by assessing the social norms of the people you'll be interacting with and clearly communicating when you find a particular behavior to be intolerably rude and finding a workaround. If you hate being interrupted it's probably going to be difficult for you to have a relationship with someone with ADHD. However you might want to consider that your ADHD partner isn't interrupting you because they don't care about what you're saying, but because they're so engaged in the conversation that they want to participate before they forget their point. "Rudeness" is constructed and it's worthwhile to interrogate.
- Do adults with ADHD say inappropriate things? Sometimes. Sometimes adults without ADHD say inappropriate things. People with ADHD may struggle with impulse control and their mouths may get ahead of their brains sometimes; if your partner is saying inappropriate things frequently and it is upsetting you, that is something to bring up with your partner.
- Does ADHD cause inappropriate behavior? That's going to depend on a lot of definitions, and see above for impulse control. ADHD doesn't cause people to, for instance, start conversations with strangers about their sex lives, but it might cause people to lose focus in meetings or daydream instead of getting work done. All of those things are "inappropriate" in certain contexts.
- What are manipulative behaviors of ADHD? Fuck you? Manipulative behaviors are manipulative behaviors; are you asking why your kid is trying to wriggle out of doing homework (perhaps it's boring) or are you asking whether your partner is 'gaslighting' you when they forget to do the dishes? Many people with ADHD deal with a certain level of conflict avoidance or RSD as a result of a lifelong history of criticism; is your partner actually manipulating you or are they trying not to get yelled at? This is probably worthwhile to investigate before going off in search of a list of red flags.
- ADHD Relationships in Adults. Man, good luck finding advice that isn't belittling or infantalizing.
- ADHD Relationship Boredom. This is a thing that happens in neurotypical relationships too. Try looking up the phrase "honeymoon phase."
- ADHD Relationship Book. Good luck. I'm actually not a fan of most ADHD relationship writing, shockingly.
- ADHD Spouse Burnout. Burnout is a thing that happens in all kinds of relationships; yours isn't special just because your partner has ADHD. The recourse for *any* relationship burnout is communication. I'm sorry you're tired but this needed to be a conversation about how many dishes in the sink upsets you before it turned into an ultimatum and a reddit ventpost. "We've had a million conversations about this" well clearly they didn't take so either the conversations weren't productive and you needed to find a different way to communicate or you're dating a shithead and the ADHD has less to do with your burnout than the shit-headery. Also for the love of fuck don't just decide you're going to do everything because your partner is helpless - that's going to make you resentful and make your partner feel like they're dead weight so they might as well not try. Fuckin. Talk to each other for fuck's sake.
- What to expect when dating a man with ADHD. Lots of stuff. He's probably a whole unique individual human under all that ADHD why don't you fucking ask him about what he's like as a roommate and a partner isn't that the fucking point of dating is getting to know people? You're going to have to ask the man you're dating what he's like.
- Why ADHD Partners are hard to love? Fuck you? They aren't? Like maybe if you're going into this with the idea that your partner is going to be difficult to love you should do them a favor and try to find someone else to love? Because it sounds like the ADHD is absolutely not the problem in your relationship.
- What men with ADHD need from a partner? That is an entire adult man try fucking asking him if he can't talk to you about his needs then he's not going to be a good partner and that would be true whether or not he had ADHD. You're going to have to ask the person you're dealing with what they need in a partner.
- Does ADHD lack empathy? ADHD often results in emotional dysregulation, which can lead to people who struggle with expressing or experiencing empathy both in that they might experience less empathy and in that they might experience more. You're going to have to ask the person you're dealing with how they relate to other people.
- Do people with ADHD like to be touched? You're going to have to ask the person you're dealing with whether they like to be touched.
- Does ADHD cause emotional detachment? Theoretically it could. You're going to have to ask the person you're dealing with about their attachment style and way of relating emotionally to the people around them.
- How do you keep a man with ADHD interested in? You're going to have to talk to the man you're dealing with about what he's interested in.
- Can ADHD cause narcissism? Is there a link between ADHD and narcissism? ADHD can make it harder to focus on people outside of yourself, and people with ADHD are frequently labeled as thoughtless, selfish, self-centered, and narcissistic. Personally I think that's unfair and a misinterpretation of behaviors people are exhibiting. The behaviors that seem "narcissistic" (forgetting events that are important to other people; forgetting to do tasks that were requested, difficulty listening to other people's concerns, starting projects on their own with no input from the group) are often manifestations of issues with executive dysfunction that would need to be individually addressed, not labeled as "bad person mental disorder for mean assholes," which is what most questions about 'narcissism' seem to be asking. (And shoutout to the NPD crew, I'm sorry people treat you like shit and have made the challenges you are dealing with into 'villain syndrome.') Anyway, my response to both of these questions is better summed up as:
- Do people with ADHD have a sixth sense? Yes, but that sense is "time" and the only information it reports is incorrect.
Anyway, the reason this list of questions irritated me so much is that it looks like an attempt to pin genuine relationship issues on a diagnosis that may have nothing to do with the issues at hand and which has symptoms that are going to vary wildly from one person to the next. ADHD causes emotional detachment except in the people for whom it causes overattachment. People with ADHD like to be touched except for the ones who don't. What your ADHD man needs is to be treated like a human being with autonomy, not a puzzle box you're trying to beat with a youtube video.
People with ADHD *do* search for this kind of information about themselves (after all, I got here because I searched "i have adhd and i don't want to do my homework") but a lot of questions here are clearly from people trying to figure out how their partners tick without just having a fucking conversation about it. This list reads like it should return a PetCo Care Sheet that recommends a one gallon tank and pumice substrate.
did you type in “wizard staff with orb” but the results were too feminine? or did you preemptively assume that the selection of wizard staffs with orbs would be so vast, you needed to narrow down the results to only the most manly?
no it autofilled to that and i thought it was so funny that i needed to know what would come up
jidashia reblogged
jidashia reblogged
It occurs to me that my ideal aroace partnership is like how the animal shelter sometimes calls animals that aren't even the same species a bonded pair.
They're not mating, but if you separate them, one of them might die of the Sadness.
Maybe I should just start saying Bonded Pair because the normies get too fuckin' hung up on the definition of "Queerplatonic."
jidashia reblogged
jidashia reblogged
'people can write whatever the fuck they want' and 'its good to approach writing about sensitive topics with some diligence and forethought' are statements which can and do coexist
jidashia reblogged
Birthday present for my friend @booleanbug of their lovely Druid Fichin! I always have fun tweaking wow models to my sick and twisted whims.
jidashia reblogged
jidashia reblogged
AU where Sokka’s high-on-cactus-juice encounter with the giant mushroom takes a dark turn. (Also he has a gun)
based on this beautiful tumblr post
bonus:
jidashia reblogged
It's stupid that bread goes bad so fast. Bread should last ten million years on your countertop. You should be able to feed yourself off the same loaf of bread from the day you are born to the day you die. They should pass down bread between generations like a family heirloom. There should be remnants of still-good bread after the heat death of the universe.