WHERE is that poem about that person learning all about their partners hyperfixation before getting dumped the last line is like “love is a stack of books on my nightstand with a bookmark near the end” I need it to feel whole help me please

NYT Tiny Love Stories, 2/11/2020

Sometimes when I’m bored I like to play the “what’s Silver’s real name wrong answers only” game in my head. Favorites include:

- still John Silver but spelled a different way

- its actually Juan de la Plata because he’s Spanish by birth

- they never gave him one (this one’s canon)

- his real name is completely coincidentally also James McGraw and he didn’t want there to be any confusion

- its [insert name of other popular fictional character] and that would also be too confusing

- John Smith, but he didn’t think anyone would believe him

- he got hit on the head with a big rock right before the first episode and just sincerely does not remember

- its actually

Juan de la Plata because

he’s Spanish by birth

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

HAIKU BOT???!!

The reason the work you’ve done on how you feel doesn’t seem like it’s working is because you need to do it until it works. It’s never been “this strategy will pull you up” it’s always been “here’s something you can do that will END with you getting out of that hole” the climbing still hurts and the being underground still hurts but that doesn’t mean it’s not working

*doing laundry* “this doesn’t feel better

*cooking meals* this doesn’t feel better

*exercising* this doesn’t feel better

*making art* this doesn’t feel better

*cleaning the apartment* this doesn’t feel better

*somewhere months or years down the line*

holy shit

tl;dr

good cromch

This was very lovely to wake up to. It's completely legit, in the replies people posted videos and pictures of the 'walk for El Vaquita', the fake protest to get El Vaquita desperately needed medical attention.

The comments in the tweet lead to celebration of a another Chilean comrade doggo named Negro Matapacos. And this is exactly the kind of education I want this month.

I love him. also

same energy

Love this professor Potato🥔🤓

“alright let’s get serious” *sits back on an office chair as a potato*

Haha looks like that relationship didn’t work out… didn’t work out et al.

my favourite thing that I learned about the voyager spacecraft today is that two days before Ann Druyan had her brain waves and heartbeat recorded to send into the universe Carl Sagan and her had confessed their love for each other and gotten engaged and so all of those feelings of being in love are out there recorded on voyager right now 

“On June 1, 1977, Carl and I shared a wonderfully important phone call,” she recalls. Without the aid of a date or even a romantic moment alone, the two had fallen in love during the mad rush to complete the Golden Record. “We decided to get married. It was a Eureka! moment for both of us—the idea that we could find the perfect match. It was a discovery that has been reaffirmed in countless ways since.”

Echoes of that moment reverberated through her mind during the recording session. Her conscious mind may have been reciting culture and philosophy, but her subconscious was buzzing with the euphoria of the Great Idea of True Love. The hour was electronically compressed to a single minute that sounds, appropriately, like a string of exploding firecrackers.

“My feelings as a 27 year old woman, madly fallen in love, they’re on that record,” says Druyan. “It’s forever. It’ll be true 100 million years from now. For me Voyager is a kind of joy so powerful, it robs you of your fear of death.” (link)

the way ivan aivazovsky looks at the sea…i think…i think that’s what love looks like.

love is surrounding yourself with people who see you this clearly

Still the freakiest fact about him is that despite being as tall as a person or more, he banged out these beauties in a day or two at most (and smaller ones ina matter of hours). The longest he spent on a painting, at age 81, to make his largest ever painting, was TEN DAYS:

It is 2.9×4.3 meters large. That’s 9'4"×14'1" for people in other measurement systems. It’s HUGE. There are artists out there that spend years on paintings much smaller than this. He was not one of them.

He also didn’t only paint the sea, but he MOSTLY painted the sea. Very few people could draw light filtering through waves the way this guy did and apparently it was tied into his layering technique that allowed him to paint so goddamn fast.

He is obviously my most favorite painter ever.

!!!

I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

there are only two genders: frog and pig

I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either

1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR

2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children

yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology

oh god

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like

So do with that what you will

Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):

Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha

I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.

In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.

This is the worst addition to this post

I am reminded of Treasure Planet.

In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies

I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?

Or is that just something my brain made up?

Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman

Last time I saw this

post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at

the second Eggman

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

anyone in this thread smoke weed

In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them

(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think that’s very important)

No no but Geralt is absolutely the ONLY person on this entire continent (the Netflix Witcher Universe) that’s unaware of Jaskier’s celebrity status because he 1) met him when he was a nobody and just hasn’t been paying attention since 2) doesn’t talk to anyone but his horse. So whenever someone around them recognizes Jaskier and go “ITS HIM!!!!” Geralt just assumes it’s an angry spouse Jaskier cuckolded and immediately starts doing his banquet shtick. As a result there are now at least 50 different stories out there about how the famous bard Jaskier broke his dick in a terrible accident when he was 5. The fangirls are devastated. Jaskier is absolutely FURIOUS

How traditional pitchforks were made.

It took 6 years starting from orienting branches

I love this so much

I would very much like to have one of these.

Writers?

If you have a chance, help preserve this nearly forgotten knowledge in your stories somewhere!

Wooden pitchforks are a bit safer than metal ones (little fear of rust causing lockjaw/death if you get poked), and when they’re grown like this, they’re far sturdier in many ways than anything assembled that isn’t metal...and they’re often lighter / better balanced than metal, too!

Looks like he’s all ready for Dr. Frankenstein’s winter crafting results.