Your Neighborhood Air Conditioner

This is better than any snl sketch

when you so shit they gotta bust out a famous violinist to drag you

“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody: 

zeug·ma ˈzo͞oɡmə/

noun

ISN’T THAT AWESOME??

#in english class in high school my teacher had us write our own zeugmas in class#and one guy came up with ‘he fell from her favor… and the window’#i am forever looking for opportunities to use that one

She dropped her dress and inhibitions at the door.

What’s this? My favorite rhetorical device showing up on my dashboard?

IT HAS A NAMEEEE!! OH MY GOD!!!

I LOVE THIIIIIS!!!

One I’ve loved was “on their weekend trip they caught three fish and a cold”

I love these they’re like a pun and a metaphor wrapped up into one neat phrase

hey, doyle, please don’t say watson keeps his stethoscope in his hat like that’s a normal thing, i refuse to believe that’s a normal thing

reblog my poll boy 🫵🏻

reblog my poll boy 🫵🏻

and this is why baseball is the best sport (see also: these baseball sidequests)

Just started playing the new Apollo Justice Ace Attorney trilogy, and I know a lot about it but never played it. So now all of you get to hear about it...

I know Kristoph is evil eventually but he seems like a nice person so far and it's kinda jarring

Oh buddy...

Just started playing the new Apollo Justice Ace Attorney trilogy, and I know a lot about it but never played it. So now all of you get to hear about it...

I know Kristoph is evil eventually but he seems like a nice person so far and it's kinda jarring

um

I'm sorry if this is seems as rude, but there is actually a very good explanation for this, tasers are only meant to stun you and don't actually cause any long term damage, this happens because tasers only shock you for a very short and controled period of time, and because of that they can have higher voltages, they also need higher voltages to be able to go through skin and clothes to hit muscle. The number you see in wikipedia, 100-250 volts, yes is capable of killing a person but that is because this shock, which usually happens from touching power outlets, happens for an indefinite ammount of time, and is thus able to reach deeper in your body, namely brain and heart, and so can easily kill. Basically taser can have non-lethal higher voltages because the electric discharg they emmit is veeeeery controled, and so they only present a danger to people with pre-existing conditions, other electric discharges on the on the other hand will fuck you up at lower voltages because they can run freely through your body for way longer than the taser energy will.

I hope that explains why nightwing has an actually very reasonable voltage in his escrima (I do feel the need to clarify that this voltage can still kill but much much harder to do that)

imagine if doorways grew back like scabbed over with fresh drywall and you had to keep carving them back out with a jabsaw to keep the doorway clear etc

Imagine if the membranes recoiled in pain every time you did this. Imagine if over time, some doorways became accustomed sensation. Imagine that very rarely, some even seemed to enjoy it.

*sleepover host voice* imagine if you two went to sleep

Oh for gods sake kids it’s like piercing an ear - that’s why you put a doorframe in - you don’t hang a door in drywall, you gremlins. You frame the door. It’s like those gauges that people put in their ears - the hole stays. It won’t scab over with a doorframe in it. You’ve lived around doors you whole life, you little clowns. Lights out

Oh my goodness what an honor to be Calvin’s dad

So my professor lent me this hard tip brush pen thing and thats what i used for the old lighthouse keep dude drawing and guys

Its the best pen ive ever inked with bc im so shakey with inking but this pen made it so easy and it has line variation

And he said i could keep it

*VIBRATES EXCITEDLY*

LIKE BEANS THIS IS ALL FROM THE ONE PEN

IM CRYING

THIS IS THE PEN, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT BRAND IT IS BC I CAN’t READ THE LABEL.

My professor said it got it from Jet Pens online? Ill ask him the brand tommarrow

He said they were fairly cheap! :0

Its a Zebra disposable brush pen.

Here’s the link to them on that website: https://www.jetpens.com/Zebra-Disposable-Brush-Pen-Super-Fine/pd/2309

YOU ARE A BLESSING OMH THANK YOU <3

And they’re like 2 dollars guys this is the best pen ive ever owned in my life

AND ITS WATER PROOF I PUT SOME WATER ON SOEM LINES AND IT DIDNT BLEED GUYS THESE PENS

I have used these pens!  They are, indeed, awesome.  Very good for drawing outlines and then using watercolors over.  One of these, a water brush, and a tiny set of watercolor pans and you have an awesomely portable art kit.  Like so (though that one has a different black brush pen).

Crane Wives songs will be like *folk guitar intro* ooowoahhhhhhhh ooowaoahhhhh. I am a wolf in the river. I am worried that I'm too volatile to ever be in a stable relationship. *guitar interlude with some percussion now* ooowoahhhhhhhh ooowaoahhhhh. There is ash in my hair. I am so tired all the time. I think I'm a bad person.

Quieres

haunted house uquiz by streetlighthalo

This is modern art. The tragedy and hopelessness is perfectly encapsulated in your lack of a choice. Were you in his place, you would do no different. Because the gods have deemed it so, because fate is stronger than you. I’m usually not a big art person but holy shit

[ID: question 18 of 18. It says "you're orpheus." The only option is to look back. It is not selected. A warning says "You must select an answer for this question." End ID]