You're in her DMs. I'm in her DNI.

When I was a very tiny child my mom was in a local production of The Reluctant Resurrection of Sherlock Holmes, a play where Arthur Conan Doyle is hired to investigate a murder at a haunted house with Sherlock Holmes, a figment of Doyle’s imagination that only he can see and hear. Doyle very sincerely believes that the house is haunted, and Holmes thinks that Doyle is a moron

I was too young to appreciate this concept when I was a child, now that I’m older it’s the best concept for a play I’ve ever heard in my life.

holy fuck I need to see that

We really need different names besides teaspoon and tablespoon. At least with different letters at the beginning.

Sincerely, someone who misread "2 teaspoons of cayenne"

Fortunately I enjoy pain

I shed this curse like water regularly thank you.

this is not the neil gaiman website i hate you

1 reblog/like to kill Neil Gaiman faster

Men invented dueling so they could shoot hot loads into eachother

Please Lord not this post

Meta Jazz, the Arkham Intern Therapist Pt 2.1

Note: The writing bug bit me while wading through the comments and replies so you guys get more! 😁 Special thanks to @the-scarecrow-of-aus & @starlightcat04 for helping spark this continuation!

Also, so you're not confused, this part is from Kon's POV and backtracks to before the Bane incident to explain how Kon started going undercover in Arkham. Pt 2.2 has the Bane incident from Kon's POV.

~*~*~

When Kon got the call from Tim asking if he'd be willing to do a favor for him, he hadn't expected it to be an undercover assignment in the infamous Arkham Asylum itself.

"You want me to do what?" He asked staring at Tim in disbelief once he reached the Nest to debrief.

i have this whisp of an idea where for whatever reason, pre-abyss, the peak lords meet mbj for some sort of peace talk and they are all witness to moshang (who are acting like they dont know each other)

bc first its like...holy shit shang qinghua, please stop being weird, everyone can see you staring at the demon lords boobs, you are gonna fuck this up!!! hes gonna get mad!!!

and then they see mbj notice and.....not get offended and HE'S RECEPTIVE (in a very lowkey way) and they have to have a meeting later (without moshang) where they all yell at each other

Danny is at a Ghost Hunting Convention in Gotham with his parents. He hates his past self for thinking that going to Gotham was a good idea.

He's in a tank, full of water, with a curtain draped over it as the Joker waxes poetic about how Batman is too late and blah, blah, blah.

Danny has bigger problems than Batman's pissing contest with Joker.

His parents are on the outside of the water tank he's been stuck in for the last twenty minutes. As a Halfa, he just stopped breathing, no big deal.

But they don't know he can do that.

He needs to do something so that they don't think he's a ghost, and going intangible is out because, obviously, that would make him a ghost.

...Hadn't Clockwork said that his status as a Halfa made him...flexible? On what he looked like?

That meant shapechanging, like Amorpho.

It would be really, really hard to explain, but also, better than being mistaken for a ghost.

He squeezes his eyes shut, hopes he doesn't come out of this looking like a horrifying version of clayface, forces himself to change.

The skin on his neck ripples, his legs fuse like when he's in his ghost form, and the sensation is so strange he gasps...and he can breathe.

The curtain is still over the tank of water.

Danny is glowing.

There are freckles that are glowing a soft green that dot his arms and...tail.

He's a mermaid. Merman.

Well.

Maybe he can say it was a recessive gene?

By the time the curtain was finally jerked back, Danny had just enough brainwidth to be sure his hair was black and that he just stared incredulously at his own tail until someone else made up an excuse he could latch onto.

Hey, he wasn’t the best at ideas, but like, one thing he HAS figured out is sometimes the person at the center of the Weird Thing has no idea what’s going on either. People will make a plausible reason and he can just agree with a ‘uhhhh maybe?’ and it’ll work out. Probably.

Suddenly, Danny isn't so sure if he shape shifted his Ghost form or if he accessed another living form he had all along.

I'm thinking why not both? Danny actually is a Mer/Atlantean? (I thought all the Atlantean's in the DCverse were still humanoid, not mers? I could be wrong though.) As such, he has a living mer form to go with his living human form. His living mer form has pearly white hair, an inky black tail with white speckles, and sea green eyes.

Then when he became a Halfa, he developed both a human and mer ghost form. His ghost mer form, as a color inversion of his living mer form, has inky black hair, a pearly white tail with black speckles, and blue eyes.

Specifically, this blue, on Kaldur's tattoos. (Not a great image, I know. Good enough to make my point though.)

Now Danny is just so completely baffled and Batman is internally sighing about having to call and invite Aquaman to Gotham.

Link in bio. What will he learn?

please just tell me that somebody out there knows the post i’m looking for

YES

you ever heard a lightning fucking scream?

youre about to

New Boothill lore just leaked

never let being a girl stop you from being a boy

never let being a boy stop you from being a girl

Reblog if you stand against order, civilization, and goodness itself

To reiterate, Laios in all fours barking and growling, and legit was about to fight a monster with his bare hands and teeth bc he was in charecter

This is breaking containment into the TERF enclosures which I very much expected, but I will happily shout from the rooftops that furry porn artists are more productive and beneficial to society than JKR’s incessant whining on the elon musk dick riding app about how much she hates trans people

1439 votes but 288 reblogs because the TERFs are afraid of the truth so they're just linking it directly to each other lmao