Aesthetics: Thorin Durin and Carlton Lassiter

She blows outta nowhere, roman candle of the wild Laughing away through my feeble disguise No other version of me I would rather be tonight. And, Lord, she found me just in time ‘Cause with my mid-youth crisis all said and done I need to be youthfully felt ‘cause, God, I never felt young She’s gonna save me, call me “baby” Run her hands through my hair She’ll know me crazy, soothe me daily Better yet she wouldn’t care We’ll steal her Lexus, be detectives, Ride 'round picking up clues We’ll name our children Jackie and Wilson, Raise 'em on rhythm and blues.

- “Jackie and Wilson,” Hozier [x]

@head-detective-of-the-sbpd

Psych Aesthetics - Carlton and Juliet

“You’ve been so much more than a partner. You’re my confidante. You’ve showed me immeasurable patience and loyalty.

You are very important to me, Juliet, and I don’t always do a really great job of letting you know that.

So I’m telling you now.”

secret relationship .

painful

provoked

steamy

innocent

Make me choose:

Shus or Lassiet?

“You’ve got other units, chief. I’ll be going to get my partner now.”

Make me choose: Parental/mentoring relationship

Anon asked - Henry/Shawn or Karen/Lassie?

“You’re staying put. I can’t have my lead detective on the street with a target on him.”

“A lot of people want to kill me. I take great pride in that.”

                                      Indie Detective Carlton Lassiter of USA’s Psych                                                              Penned by Richard                                                                Est. Jan 11 2016

            This was going against every rule he could think of regarding relationships and romance in the workplace; especially in a police department. It would have to be kept a secret, or else they would be separated; just like how Lucinda had needed to switch departments after their relationship was discovered.

                But... he wanted to do this. He loved her. He knew that. And as much as he wanted to drown out those feelings, he couldn’t. Juliet was someone special, and just seeing her every day made his life that much brighter.

                He wanted to be able to properly express those feelings. And he simply couldn’t within a strictly professional and platonic setting. So when Juliet put forth the idea of a relationship, he didn’t dismiss it right away as he would have with anyone else.

                At her question, he could at first only stay silent. But then he met her gaze, quiet decisiveness on his face and his eyes open and vulnerable. “I do. I... I really do, O’Hara--Juliet.”

        He had never, ever meant to fall for her. God, he had never wanted to. He had never wanted to fall in love again - it only ended in despair and hopelessness. It never went well, not for him. And that was only proven yet again; his stupid heart betraying him, causing him to have feelings for a woman who not only was his colleague at work, but who seemed to have another love interest already.

         He hated love. And all the pain it came with.

         But all of this was his fault. It was his own emotions he had to deal with. It wasn’t Juliet’s fault. He shouldn’t drag her into this. But when you were drunk, remembering what you should and shouldn’t do was difficult at best.

          “Mmh.” He stared into his glass of scotch for a long moment before tipping his head back and downing the rest of it. “Yeah, I... I know.”

@head-detective-of-the-sbpd and Sick Juliet

          It really wasn’t helpful for her body to interrupt her protests that she was fine with a rather intense coughing fit. Carlton’s knowing brow raise when Juliet finally resurfaced was embarrassing. 

          Still, she tried to maintain her steely glare for a few moments before turning back to her desk and the mountain of paperwork atop it. “ I’m fine, Carlton. I’ll go to CVS on my lunch break and buy some cold medicine. ”

          She was sick. And while that also meant work at the department was hindered, that also meant that... well, that Juliet was not feeling well, and that wouldn’t do. Since she wasn’t taking care of herself, Carlton would have to take matters into his own hands.

            Which, of course, she protested.

            “No. You’ll go home now. I’ll pick up some medicine and bring it to you. And I’ll take care of your paperwork. Go and get some rest, O’Hara. Do you need me or McNab to drive you home?” 

          “But it’s subtle and Irish,” Juliet countered, starring the name before Carlton could turn the page. Subtle being the operative word; she was NOT naming her child Justice. Justice is a noun, not a name, no matter what Carlton said. 

          He offered up a middle name - Colin - and Juliet tapped her pen against her cheek thoughtfully. “Colin…” she murmured quietly, testing the name out. Her gaze drifted down to her stomach, mostly flat but a definite bump just starting to form. “Riley Colin Lassiter…” Her smile grew fond as her free hand ghosted down across her stomach. “Yeah. I like the sound of that.”

          There would never be a day when Carlton didn’t think Justice was the perfect name for a son. But if Juliet didn’t approve, she didn’t approve, and there was nothing to be done.

           Though he still held out hope to at least win her over enough for it to be a middle name if they had another son.

             He watched quietly as Juliet considered his suggestion, a surge of pride and love warming his chest when her hand ghosted across her stomach. He didn’t believe it some days; they were choosing names for a child. For their son. It was really happening... he couldn’t have imagined this would ever be happening.

              And she liked the name. So did he. Carlton grinned, moving to place his hand over hers. “So do I. So do I.”

           It hurt. That was the reason for his outburst, and he knew it. The first time he had let himself be open, and received what he thought was acceptance, and suddenly it was all being yanked out from under him. Fleeting. What he had been afraid of as a teenager - the reason he had never taken the chance with anyone he was attracted to. 

             It wasn’t fair to Thorin for him to act like this. He knew that. She had no control over what her father did. And besides, maybe it was for the best. Maybe it would be a good change to Thorin’s life to get that internship. He couldn’t keep her from that.

             So as quickly as his wounded anger had flared up, it vanished. He knew Thorin wasn’t looking at him as she spoke, but he couldn’t keep from averting his own eyes either. He chewed at the inside of his lip, trying to stifle the pain in his chest and the tightness in his throat. 

            “It’s okay,” he said in response to her apology, voice quiet. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped like that.” He kept staring at the ground, blinking rapidly. Then he drew in a deep breath, trying to steel himself - just until the conversation was over, just until he could escape to the pub for a few hours. “I hope everything goes well.”

             He was about to turn away, desperate to escape the sting of what could very well be their last interaction for a long time - or forever. But he hesitated, still staring at the ground beneath his feet. “You’re wrong by the way. You’re worth the effort. Don’t tell yourself that, or let anyone else tell you that.”

              There was silence for a long moment, and Carlton finally said, “Good luck.” He didn’t leave, despite wishing he could; perhaps because part of him didn’t want to walk away until she did. Wanting to spend as many seconds with her as possible before she left.

               It had been a week. A week of fearing the worst and working manically around the clock, only catching a few hours of sleep total - just barely enough to avoid the hallucinations that plagued a person if they stayed awake for longer than four days. The cups of coffee got stronger and more frequent until they were practically all he drank. Juliet and the chief couldn’t force him to rest but they did make sure he ate and drank properly enough to keep from passing out.

                  Carlton couldn’t bear to stop searching; not when it was his wife who had gone missing. Not when the note left in her car for him to find stated that it was partially his fault she had been taken.

                    He was beginning to give up hope of finding her in Santa Barbara or the surrounding areas. He had followed potential leads all over central California with no luck and no more leads.

                    But finally he found something that seemed promising. An alley outside of an abandoned two-story apartment building that someone had reported seeing people entering and leaving from. When he spotted someone who looked vaguely familiar, Carlton took his radio and requested back-up. He had given up on ‘hope’ days ago, but he dared to wonder if maybe he had finally found - at the very least - a lead.

                       And just as he lowered the radio from his mouth, he heard a faint voice. He went stock still, straining to listen... it sounded... oh, god, it couldn’t be...

                        He searched frantically for the source, finding a small window on the ground that seemed to lead to a basement. He dropped to the ground, leaning backward and kicking at the glass. It shattered. He situated himself into a crouch, staying aware of his surroundings while also gettting low enough to look through the window. The basement was far too dark. “Thorin?” Oh, god, let her be here. Don’t let this be a hallucination. “Thorin?”

        Sometimes, you saw things on the job. Terrible things. Because sometimes, you couldn’t get there in time. Sometimes, the bad guys won, and sometimes they got away afterward. Maybe for good. 

         And those things stuck with you. Oftentimes, you carried the images of death and tears home with you. You carried them to bed at night, and saw them replay in close-up every time you shut your eyes. They were there when you woke up, and trailed after you during the day. The longer you worked, the more years you fought to protect others from danger, the more images that followed you until before long you had an army of ghosts haunting your steps.

        But sometimes you could block them all out, because the opposite side of the spectrum - light instead of dark - waited for you the moment you stepped inside the home that had become your refuge.

       As it was today. Carlton came home after a long day, stopping inside the hall and looking around for a long moment, taking in the warmth and the light. He could hear voices from the living room; it was late, he had no doubt missed supper and the rest of his family were probably playing a game or watching a film.

      He walked inside and sure enough, they were there. At first, he just wanted to say hello; greet them, and then go find something to eat. But after a few silent moments, he did something on impulse and instead moved to draw the nearest of his loved ones into a hug, eyes shut tight.

@queenthorinoferebor / @nximpulsecxntrxl 

          With working parents, it made it difficult to properly raise a family but Thorin and Carlton made it work. Of course, sacrifices needed to be made and Thorin worked from home a lot more often; she didn’t need to these days, with Astraea old enough to take care of both herself and Byrne until Thorin and Carlton came home, but it was more or less habit now. 

          Plus, they had the evenings and that was always nice. 

          Astraea, as per usual, insisted on helping with dinner and a plate of food had been set aside and placed in the fridge, waiting for Carlton’s arrival.

          Given that it was Friday, Byrne insisted that he and his sister could do their homework later in the weekend and what they really needed was a movie night. And well…Thorin couldn’t really argue; she was a rather indulgent parent, but it was easy to be with such good children.

          They were nearly halfway through The Avengers when the door opened and a few moments later, Carlton appeared in the entrance of the living room. “Dad! Sit down, we’re having movie night!” Byrne greeted, walking in from the kitchen after refilling his bowl of popcorn.

          What he hadn’t expected was to feel his father wrap his arms around him tightly. The boy blinked in surprise but didn’t protest, shifting the bowl to one hand in order to wrap the other around his father’s waist.

          Astraea, from her perch on the couch beside her mother, smiled at the spectacle. Standing up and taking the bowl from her little brother, Astraea set it down on the coffee table before moving to hug her father as well. “Hi Dad,” she greeted. “Mom? Are you joining in?”

          “You know me, all about those cheesy family group hugs,” Thorin laughed, pulling herself off the couch and wrapping her arms around her children and pressing as close as she could to her husband’s side. “Welcome home, honey.”

          One of the most relieving things in Carlton’s life was returning home and finding that his family was there, happy and safe. Every day he left for work, there was the nagging fear that something would happen.

            That he might not return home, and that someone - Buzz McNab, who had become a fast friend of the family, perhaps - would be the ones to drop by the house instead to bear bad news.

            That he would return home after all but find his family gone, and a note waiting that detailed just what had happened to them with a request for ransom or a warning to never cross th writer of the note again.

            But each night, he had been fortunate enough to meet the setting of the sun whilst still breathing, and come home to warmth and smiles.

             So he took the moment to just shut his eyes and relax in the embrace of his family. Without opening his eyes, he said in collective response to his children and wife, “I love you all so much.”

@head-detective-of-the-sbpd

          The attention span of children was remarkable. One minute, Astraea was happily chatting with her mother, chewing at her second slice of pizza and the next, the door opened.

      “ Daddy! ” 

          Leaving her pizza abandoned, Astraea ran up to the door, stopping just half a foot short of her father with a wide grin and no shortage of pizza sauce on her face. “ Hi, I missed you! I wanna tell you all about kindergarten and Mama bought pizza cause it was my first day of school and we get to celebrate! ”

           It had been difficult to focus at work that day. Carlton had almost - almost - taken a day off from work, but deecided against it; if he had, all he would have done was pace around the house all day anyway. 

              Either way, it was an immense relief when he walked through the door of the house and saw his daughter running up to him, pizza sauce and a wide grin gracing her features. Carlton smiled at her enthusiasm, leaning down and scooping her up into his arms regardless of the fact he was wearing a suit - stains would come out, and he wanted to hug his child. “Did she now?” He glanced toward Thorin and then back at Astraea. “Well. Let’s get you back to the table, and you tell me all about it.” 

                He made his way to the kitchen, pressing a kiss to Thorin’s cheek before setting the little girl down, still smiling.

             “That’s not… that’s not the problem, I just…” Carlton averted his eyes, inhaling slowly as he tried to find the words he wanted to say. “It’s not your criminal record. It’s nothing about that, I’m just…”

                 A long pause fell as he struggled to put his fears into words. “I’m an officer of the law. And I just… I’m not holding anything against you. That’s not it at all. I’m…”

                 I’ve never had this happen before. I’ve never asked anyone on a date before. My parents never really explained the etiquette. I don’t want to screw this up, but I’m also afraid it’ll affect my chances of being anything more than a beat cop. 

                  I just don’t want to screw up.

                  “Sorry. Forget I said it.”

          For a long moment, Thorin only stared as Carlton tried to stammer through an explanation to his comment. She wasn’t entirely sure she understood his apprehensions, especially given her rebuttal and his assurance that it wasn’t about her laughable criminal record. But the least she could do was let Carlton know where she stood and let the chips fall where they may.

          “Look,” she sighed softly, running a hand through her hair. “I’ve done some dumb stuff, yeah, but that was the past…and I don’t think that should keep me from being happy in the future. Do you?”

          She sighed again, directing her gaze to her combat boots for a moment as she composed herself, before looking back up at Carlton, with what she hoped was a confident smile painting her lips. “I like you, Carlton Lassiter. You’re…dorky and awkward and you’re honest and kind and…I think we get each other. I’m young, yeah, but I’m over 18. I’ve done a few petty crimes, sure, but I’m not a criminal. Not really. So…the way I see it, you don’t really have any excuses to hide behind. Either you like me or you don’t. If you don’t like me, that’s fine. I get it. I’m…I’m not the sort of girl people usually go for. But…if you do…I’m here.”

          There. Heart officially beared. It was Carlton’s move now.

         Carlton wanted nothing more than to turn back time and find some way to avoid this entire mess. He shouldn’t have said what he did, and certainly not in the way that he did. If he could just go back and choose to keep his mouth shut... but he couldn’t. He had made his mistake, and now he had to cope with it.

            But then Thorin was speaking, and while the part of him that wanted to run out of the room was still clamoring, now the sudden urge to just stay and try to work this out had appeared as well.

            He was silent for a long time, helplessly chewing on his lower lip and rubbing his palms together in a nervous manner. Then he finally managed to go still, looking down at Thorin. And before he could stop it, the words came tumbling out of his mouth. “It’s... it’s not that I don’t like you. It’s that... it’s that I do. A lot. I... you’re right, I’m not in danger of being in trouble for this. I don’t... I don’t have any excuses. The long and short of it is just that...” He sighed. “I’ve never done this before. I’ve just been too nervous. The few times I haven’t been, it was immediate rejection. So I just...” 

               Another long pause, another quiet exhalation. “I like you. I don’t want to screw it up. And all of this has just been because I’m...” Another several moments of silence, and then the last word spoken in hardly audible tones. “... afraid.”