Game Night: True American
I had a more serious topic planned for this week’s blog post, but it needs a little more TLC before “going public,” if you will. In the meantime, here’s a post about an activity that’s 50% drinking game, 50% life-size Candyland. Or 75% drinking, 25% Candyland. Or 90% drinking and a loose Candyland-like structure.
The show is New Girl, and the game is True American. It doesn’t make sense until you’re drunk, and it only ever goes downhill (or uphill, depending on your perspective) from there. The rules are confusing, but it makes more sense as you go!
(DISCLAIMER: Consuming alcohol can be dangerous and drinking games often promote significant alcohol consumption. Drink legally and responsibly. Don’t drink if you’re pregnant. Don’t drink and drive. Know and respect your limits. Blah blah blah basically don’t be an idiot. Let’s get started.)
1) Pawns, aka cans of beer, are the soldiers of the Secret Order. They create the castle surrounding the King, aka a large bottle of liquor at the center of the castle. The castle is in an X-formation sprawling outward from the King.
2) There are four zones, designated by the extensions of the castle. There is a trail of chairs, cushions, tables, etc. through the zones in a vaguely circular fashion.
3) The floor is molten lava. You must traverse the zones using the aforementioned objects without touching the ground. If you fall, step on, or touch the floor, you’re out.
1) You must have at least one drinkable, open beer on you at all times. If you only have empty beer cans on you, you’re out.
2) You may not have more than three (3) beers with you at a time. If you get caught with more than that, you’re out.
3) If you get out, you must chug/finish a beer or take a shot to get back in.
4) Pawns may only be picked up at the beginning of the game and when on the four (4) designated spots around the castle.
5) Turns may be cyclical or random, depending on preference and level of intoxication.
6) Quotes can be from TV, music, movies, memes, etc. but they must be at least somewhat mainstream or recognizable.
7) You get to move one space on your turn. Other players get to move forward or backward 1-3 spaces on your turn if they win or lose that turn’s “game.”
1) Everyone holds up a random number of fingers against their foreheads.
2) Anyone holding up one less finger than you is on your team. Unmatched players can team up as needed.
3) If you’re caught with an empty beer and your teammate is on one of the designated spots around the castle, they can toss you a beer.
4) If you get out for any reason, your teammate can chug a beer or take a shot for you to get back in the game.
1) It starts off with a rock, paper, scissors tournament to see who becomes the President, aka the player who tips the game off.
2) The President shotguns a beer and yells, “1, 2, 3, 4, JFK!” Everyone else yells, “FDR!” in response. This starts the game; everyone has 7 seconds to grab a pawn and run to a spot.
3) In order to MOVE ONE (1) SPACE, someone yells out, “1, 2, 3!” Everyone must put a number of fingers up, 1-5, and put their hand on their forehead. If no one has the same number as you up, you take a drink and move one space. If you have the same number as someone else, move back one space.
4) In order to MOVE TWO (2) SPACES, someone must call out the first half of a quote (“Four score and _____”), and everyone else must successfully complete it. If you complete it, take a drink and move two spaces. If you don’t complete it, move back two spaces.
5) In order to MOVE THREE (3) SPACES, someone must call out two things that have something in common. If guessed correctly, those people take a drink and move. If no one guesses correctly, the person who called out must reveal the answer. If it’s reasonable by general consensus, the caller drinks and moves forward 3 spaces. Everyone else moves back 3 spaces.
6) The President may yell, “JFK!” at any time at which point everyone must yell, “FDR!” and finish their beer. Keep in mind: the game gets more fun the longer it goes on. Use this power sparingly.
7) When a player finishes their beer, they yell, “All trash belongs…” and all other players respond, “…in the junkyard!” at which point empty cans are thrown into a designated receptacle.
8) To win the game, all pawns must be gone and you have to be the first to drink from the King. You do NOT have to drink the whole bottle (please don’t).
That’s about it! You can add rules, change rules, or completely take some out to suit your fancy. You get to make this game into whatever you want.
The game is True American. It doesn’t make sense until you’re drunk. The rules are confusing, but it makes more sense as you go.
Let’s get started. 1, 2, 3, 4, JFK!
