*neurotypical voice* exfoliate

Mansplaining: The tweet.

This is performance art.

It’s hard being such a cute explorer

dickass give em jizz jazz

tit tat give em lick lack

~st.nicky minaj, 1946

sure swords and scythes LOOK cool, but they’re really no match for guns, guys.

there are only two genders

kin drama and shipping wars

13:21 

[teaser]

southern memes:

•having literal pastures next to your school •“there’s a half inch of snow we must close schools” •dinky snowmen built out of said half inch of snow •those shirts that girls wear with leggings and boots that say things like “tea drinkin’, jesus lovin’ southern girl” •texas •"what accent? i don’t have an accent" •cicadas •high school football •people getting mugged at rivaling high school football games •monogrammed EVERYTHING •those small town boutiques where everything is pink and green polka dots or chevron print with letters on it •going to smaller towns and people acting like they’ve never seen unnaturally dyed hair before reblog with other Southern Memes

- being able to identify what part of the state someone is from entirely by their accent

- “fixin’ to”

- beauty pageants 

- the most god-awful and ridiculous names you’ve ever heard in the history of ever (they’re family names. don’t insult them. just smile and accept it.) 

- church on every block (this is not, strictly speaking, a hyperbole. it is very true)

- this has already been said, but let me reiterate: sweet tea 

- passive aggression 

- “bless your heart” 

- two-part names. (mary ann, ann marie, sarah jane, etc.) 

- college football loyalties that can and will break a family

- “______ than a ______” but never pronounced properly i.e. “i’m madder’n a hornet”

- bama. not Alabama. just. bama.

- if you didn’t join a sorority, did you even really go to college?

- we all know a mary katherine/kathryn and she was either the nicest person you ever met or basically the emodiment of evil

- “i tell you what” is a complete thought

-fried okra

-collared greens (colla’d greens)

-FRICKING CHUBBIES (the shorts)

-you call someone “ma'am” or “sir” down here and it’s considered polite but you call someone from up north that and they think you’re calling them old or some other insult

-Georgia pronounced like “jaw-ja” with no r

-Sonic happy hour

-camo

-the trains rolling through at the most inconvenient times like we legit had a train come through during my cousins graduation and the ceremony halted for like ten minutes

-standing outside during tornados with your neighbors just like looking at the clouds 

-cutoffs, mullets, and cowboy boots

-ur mom probably has a Wall of Crosses in her house

-the answer to “what did u do this weekend/over break” is literally always, “we went to the lake”

-also like u don’t even have to name a specific lake everyone just knows

-mason jars everywhere

-two seasons: the Long Winter and Satan’s Asscrack

- Those “Summer in [insert state here]” pictures everybody and their great aunt share on facebook.

- When your accent gets stronger when you are trying to be polite.

- So many Civil War Memorials. So many.

- Junk sculptures in front yards.

- That one yard with all the cars in it.

- That one store/house with all the metal signs plastered all over it.

- This sign:

- Antique stores. So many antique stores

- Barbecue restaurants EVERYWHERE

- “We go to the church on the hill”….. “Which hill?”

- Cows getting loose and chilling in the middle of the road

- Everything can be fixed with WD-40 and/or duct tape

- “It’s so good it’ll make you wanna slap your mama”

- Accent intensifies when you’re around other people with said accent

- Accent also intensifies when you’re yelling about something

- I personally like to call people “jackwagon” when they do something stupid. That could just be me though

-The Celebration (if your from Walking Horse Territory)

-Drive your tractor to school day 

 -Town History Celebrations (Our’s is called Old Timer’s Day) with a parade through town 

-High School Homecoming Parades 

-Just parades…they happen for everything 

-Eclectic festivals (My personal favorite is the RC and Moonpie) 

-Pulling over for funerals 

-Hanging in the “insert grocery store chain here” parking lot 

 -“You wanna take this behind the Co-op?“ 

 -ville is always pronounced -vull

I can’t believe @memento-amare and I forgot:

- Dollar General stores everywhere

- Piggly Wiggly

- Save a Lot

- Vera Bradley

- Sundrop and Coca-Cola cake

- Banana pudding at every potluck ever. With Nilla Wafers

- Real moonshine. Like the moonshine you get when you know a guy who knows a guy

- Confederate flags and “Rebel Girl” tshirts

- Very large, very loud trucks

- Bama Fever and Tiger Pride stores

- That little drawing of a clown on the back of Golden Flake chip bags that tells you to put your garbage in the trash

- Shur Fine is more than just a vague answer y’all it is a generic brand lol

- Houndstooth everything

- Boiled peanuts in every gas station. Like in a crock pot ready to be sold by the cup.

@stephaniie-brown this made me realize u probably have an accent

-brisket

-other people’s impression of “mexican food” vs real mexican food

-(go to the sketcy dives if you want real mexcian food, fyi)

-hating all other southern states

- “i live closer to mexico then i do a place that actively gets snow”

-”it never snows here” “YES IT DOES IT SNOWED FOR 3.4 MINUTES THREE YEARS AGO AT 9:43:02 ON JANUARY 22″ 

-y’all

-flannel + cowboy boots

-you always know three people with horses. even if you don’t know that you know, trust me you know them

-those people who live four hours away from everyone and they have chickens

-hayrides at Halloween, the hayrides are haunted

- Walmart is a hometown institution - a cult-like obsession with Popeyes

Can I just say, my town literally has a Rice Harvest Festival. No joke. 

•I'm going to repeat "bless your heart" because it is not in fact a blessing, but actually super condescending •setting off fireworks in the front yard •camo is a fashion statement

dont worry, they have PLENTY

You can only reblog this today.

I cannot believe I’m reblogging a homestuck meme in the year of our lord 2017 but I gotta 

cursed image

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