this ep should have been gayer… just saying

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gotta share @telesilla’s tags -

#that was (give or take) around the time of the bronze age collapse #crete was no longer a major player #and the known world was kinda in turmoil #and yet someone planted an olive tree #i’m not saying there’s a direct parallel #but you know…systemic collapse thanks to many things including climate change #and it sucked for a lot of people #but they still needed olive oil #and idk man…maybe plant a tree #because the world has ended so many times #but the tree is still here #and so are we

the world has ended so many times but the tree is still here and so are we

omG I SEARCHED GOOGLE FOR A SEWING MACHINE DIAGRAM AND THIS CAME UP I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

We actually keep this picture hanging up in our costume shop. If you have ever operated a sewing machine, this picture will speak to you on a spiritual level.

So apparently Tumblr ate my original post about this but:

A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.

What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”

After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”

This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image:

This is the funniest post I have ever read on Tumblr for so many…many reasons.

POV: Jadzia is handing you a datarod with a questionable holosuite program on it that she bought from an adolescent child's auction(??) as a gift for you(???)

never understood those futuristic/sci-fi settings where they have robot pets..... no way in hell cats are going out of business

That's why star trek portays the real future of humanoid robot having a real cat and making hundreds of wet food recipes and making sure other people tell his cat he's beautiful.

Man I hate it when people use the pronoun “you” as a singular pronoun in an informal setting. “You” is plural, unless thou dost speak to an unfamiliar person. The correct singular second person pronoun is “thou” in most cases. Grammar never changes. Pronouns must always stay one way until the end of time. Learn thy proper English. *sigh* Kids these days.

If thou this mistake shouldst make on thine own blog, then know, villain, that thou art a dirty descriptivist, and no friend of mine. Ne'er should language itself alter, it doth remain fixèd as such, untouch’d by change. Wouldst thou, vile descriptivist, that we forget the heritage of our great tongue? Nay, say I. Thou art but a dickhead who sayest so.

stynt ðy clappe! beoð ðo writerris be wetleas knafen. ðy langag o engelond diffoulened be, ille usenid bi sclaundrous novelri.

so anyway i found my moms xfiles fanfiction from the 90′s

CONFIRMED

can’t wait for when this exact thing will happen to current fanfic writers

fanfic worries at 20: is my mom going to find my porn

fanfic worries at 40: IS MY KID GOING TO FIND MY PORN

I’m reposting this with a link to some sources from the OP, btw; I’m sorry for not tagging them, but Tumblr won’t let me and I’m guessing it’s a privacy settings thing.

https://www.academuseducation.co.uk/post/ancient-mesopotamian-transgender-and-non-binary-identities

lil prompt from Patreon!✨

When the 2009 movie came out I was OBSESSED but I still can't believe they sidelines my grumpy baby boy Mccoy. COWARDS THE LOT OF THEM!

hallmark movie

This should have been prefaced with “we forced a bot to watch 1000 hours of christmas movies”

Petition for Netflix to do a reverse Hallmark movie. A housewife from a small town has to go on a trip to the Big City due to some inheritance issue(her husband of course doesn’t accompany her because he is a lazy ass). In the process she finds out that she fucking LOVES the big city. She loves the possibilities, the culture, the life,the night life,

She also just happens to find a job she loves, decides she doesn’t actually want children, that she hates going to church, that she never really liked either her or her husband’s families

And then her angry husband calls her:

husband: where the hell are you? You were supposed to be done with this b.s two weeks ago? I don’t have any clothes. Mom had to come here to do the laundry and she is so pissed at you. You better be here to prepare Christmas dinner!

woman: Actually dear I decided not to sell my great aunt’s flat. In fact I decided to move to the city. Also the reason I am calling was to tell you that I am filing for divorce

husband:you bitch. you will regret this. i will leave you penniless

women: actually dear in case you forgot dealing with the finances was something you considered beneath you so all the bank accounts are in my name. but don’t worry. i’ll leave you the house. maybe now you will actually bother to do the repairs I have been asking you to do for years. merry Christmas. All tell your mother to go fuck herself

That is a Christmas movie I would watch.

Today's children don't know what it was like when half of your photographs would turn out with demonically glowing red eyes.

This is like unearthing an ancient artifact from a forgotten civilization

if there is a screen

ao3 will be seen

There are many benefits…

On Questioning and Answering in Star Trek: The Motion Picture

funniest reply to being asked why you made someone fight their boss to the death thirty seconds ago