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Broken

@mimicxism / mimicxism.tumblr.com

I want to be more than damaged goods but all I'll ever be is broken.Original character, multi-ship, multi-verse, semi-selective, and very friendly. Blacklist ooc; kiwi whines to ignore me ranting.
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“Yeah. Cooped up.” If it was up to them, she’d still be in that house, either that or in an early grave. Those days were gone though, as much as memories lingered, and she had her freedom, what more could she ask for?
Other than undisturbed sleep and for her mind not to relate everything back to her suffering.
Part of her still wanted revenge purely for all the nights of sleep she had lost, but she knew that road didn’t end with her parents and being consumed by hate wasn’t something she was sure she’d ever come back from.
She blinked. His efforts to elaborate on the statement were far to familiar a tatic to miss. At least she wasn’t the only one who rambled when she said something she didn’t mean to.
“Right,” she’d be lying if she claimed not to be curious, but she doubted either one of them wanted a session of twenty questions. “Personally, I’ve seen more bad middles then ends.” She glanced away as she said it, even if it wasn’t meantto call him out, it sure as hell felt like it was the second she said it.
She really needed to learn when to shut up.

“Really?”

He blinked for a moment, his thought process trying to figure out if she were still talking about various forms of mediums, or if she was simply trying to hint at something a bit more personal. He would ultimately decide that it might have been a mix of both, and figured that it’d be best if the conversation was kept casual. At least that way he wouldn’t risk assuming too much and making things awkward for them both.

“I guess that’s to be expected, I think it’s naturally part of story telling for the middle to be full of strife and conflict,  you’d be hard pressed to find ones that didn’t.”

He would give a small yawn, perhaps lack of sleep truly was getting to him, which could be considered a good thing for him. He could use some rest after all spending far too long awake. 

“But, I believe a bad middle doesn’t mean a bad end’s to come. If everything goes just right, there’s a happy ending to be achieved, and everything would have been worth it.”

There was a light, soft laugh that followed.

“Sorry, I think I may have been a bit dramatic in saying that. It wasn’t my intention.”

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mimicxism

Harper's jaw clenched, considering her next words even as they slipped from her mouth, "There's supposed to be moments, though, isn't there? Where it's not so bad?"

Well, crap. There wasn't any excusing that as book talk, was there?

"Sorry, I didn' mean- I just can' keep my mouth shut when I'm tired, ignore that." She forced a smiles, even though all she wanted to do was run off and leave this conversation where it was. So much for dancing around personal conversation. At this rate, she might as well tell him that she was awake because her dreams were haunted by the images of knives and guns being forced into her hands, and, of course, her step-father.

"About that book shop," she grasped at straws to avoid any questioning her response might have sparked, "where'd ya say it was?"

She wasn't sure what she'd say if he asked for clarification. Her loose lips might just spill her whole troubled backstory, and God knew no one wanted that.

She needed to start taking sleeping pills. Maybe that would stop the dreams and, in turn, stop disasters like this conversation.

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rpmemes4u

ANNA CLENDENING LYRICS STARTERS

,, i am overthinking every word.

,, happy ever after? i don’t think so. 

,, i am in love with someone, who doesn’t know i exist. 

,, i can’t ever win. 

,, am i invisible ?  

,, i’m falling for you slowly. 

,, i play pretend. 

,, should i let it go? 

,, you will never leave. 

,, on the surface everything’s just fine. 

,, it’s too easy to fake a smile. 

,, no matter how hard i try, you will never leave. 

,, i hate you and all the stupid things you do. 

,, you get the best of me. 

,, i wish i could just let you go. 

,, you are all i’ve ever known. 

,, what’s normal again ? 

,, with you i am never alone.

,, i messed up bad.

,, i should have done better.

,, i’m skeptical of love.

,, tearing my heart in two.

,, you got your issues , but so do i.

,, how was it so easy for you to lie ?

,, if i’m being honest i miss you.

,, there’s no coming back from this.

,, i gave you so much , but it wasn’t enough.

,, you broke your promise.

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She hummed, followed by a quiet laugh, “My parents didn’t mind too much,” the comment slid by easily, it almost didn’t make her cringe, but cringe she did, “not when I was younger. But they preferred I did other stuff as I got older.” Suffer, most notably, but she didn’t plan on expanding that sentence any farther.
She hated that she couldn’t look back on memories of happy times without the hell her life had shifted to shoving its way into the limelight, but, really, she was more used to it than she cared to admit. Happy was hard enough on its own, happiness from memories was practically impossible.
She let her eyes drift closed for a moment too long and immediately felt the weight of her hours awake. God, she wished her brain wasn’t her worst enemy.
“Nothing too deep, if I’m honest. I’m a stickler for cheesy begginings, middles, and ends, sorry.”
Mostly because her beggining and middle weren’t, and her end likely wouldn’t be either. But those were just dirty details. She shrugged and grinned.
“Well, I suppose that’s not too out of the ordinary, I’ve been told some parents don’t like their kids to be cooped up all day.” At least, he thinks it’s nothing out of the ordinary, there’s a bit of uncertainty in his voice to reflect his doubt, but he decides to move on instead of focusing too much time pondering about such a small detail. 

Instead, he notes how she’s evidently getting tired as time went on, but figured that mentioning that she should sleep would be met with her shaking it off. It was probably best to just let her tire herself out naturally until she couldn’t fight it, which was along the lines of something he was trying to do as well.

“Don’t be sorry, if I’m going to be honest I’ve always preferred lighter stories myself, a story doesn’t have to be deep and depressing to be good. I’ve had enough of bad endings myself.” The last sentence had managed to slip out before he could stop himself, and could only hope that she assumed it to be about books, and not anything about him personally. Though, in his moments of worry, he would decide to add on to his statement, just in case.

“i mean like- in stories and shows and everything, y’know- Always seems like everyone’s just… getting killed off just when things seem to be going their way.”

He ended that statement in a small, awkward chuckle to try and play off the statement. Though in reality, he probably made things worse for himself, but didn’t have the liberty of hindsight to stop while he had the chance.

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mimicxism

"Yeah. Cooped up." If it was up to them, she'd still be in that house, either that or in an early grave. Those days were gone though, as much as memories lingered, and she had her freedom, what more could she ask for?

Other than undisturbed sleep and for her mind not to relate everything back to her suffering.

Part of her still wanted revenge purely for all the nights of sleep she had lost, but she knew that road didn't end with her parents and being consumed by hate wasn't something she was sure she'd ever come back from.

She blinked. His efforts to elaborate on the statement were far to familiar a tatic to miss. At least she wasn't the only one who rambled when she said something she didn't mean to.

"Right," she'd be lying if she claimed not to be curious, but she doubted either one of them wanted a session of twenty questions. "Personally, I've seen more bad middles then ends." She glanced away as she said it, even if it wasn't meant to call him out, it sure as hell felt like it was the second she said it.

She really needed to learn when to shut up.

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“Well, it’s actually because my home was-”, He paused, and realized that he was dangerously close revealing a bit more about himself than he would have liked. The half-alien was so used to talking about the status of his destroyed home to others, that simply not bringing it up was almost a task he had to inflict upon himself. It could have made him laugh, if it didn’t pain him so.

“-a small town. My home was a small town where my mother would usually have me go outside rather than stay inside reading all day. Even though it was small, there were certainly plenty of things to do.” The lie had been rushed, and not something he could easily expand upon if she had decided to question what he had said, all he could was that his answer satisfied her curiosity

The real answer as to why books weren’t common for him was simply due to his own energy, when he was young he couldn’t sit still, and as he got older that energy was channeled into helping his mother with her inventions and training to defeat the androids. By the time that threat was gone, a new one came shortly after, and another one came after that. He would have liked to read more, as there had been plenty of amazing stories he had heard of, but none he had read himself, it was in the current timeline he was in that he decided to take it upon himself and try to read in his spare time.

“You, uh, have any favorite books you recommend?” 

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mimicxism

She hummed, followed by a quiet laugh, "My parents didn't mind too much," the comment slid by easily, it almost didn't make her cringe, but cringe she did, "not when I was younger. But they preferred I did other stuff as I got older." Suffer, most notably, but she didn't plan on expanding that sentence any farther.

She hated that she couldn't look back on memories of happy times without the hell her life had shifted to shoving its way into the limelight, but, really, she was more used to it than she cared to admit. Happy was hard enough on its own, happiness from memories was practically impossible.

She let her eyes drift closed for a moment too long and immediately felt the weight of her hours awake. God, she wished her brain wasn't her worst enemy.

"Nothing too deep, if I'm honest. I'm a stickler for cheesy begginings, middles, and ends, sorry."

Mostly because her beggining and middle weren't, and her end likely wouldn't be either. But those were just dirty details. She shrugged and grinned.

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While he hadn’t expected the answer to come out as if it was some form of insult, but it was evident there was more to that answer than Harper let on. There was a pause, unsure if he should try to put his nose into a stranger’s personal life and try to find why her answer was the was it was or simply let the topic be for the time being, he gave a simple nod to her when he finally came to a decision. The two had just met, trying to dig too deep wasn’t the best idea as of yet, perhaps if they met again his opinion would change on the matter.

“Reading sounds nice, haven’t really gotten much of a chance to do so, but books weren’t really abundant where I grew up.” He wanted to connect, to make friends with Harper, but he also had to tiptoe around how he phrased certain things, there was no need to explain his time travel situation due to the slip up of a few words. 

He may not have been the most social person, but he was certain that telling someone about a post apocalyptic timeline was something told on the second meeting, not the first.

“I actually think I saw a bookstore not far from here, if it’s still open, I’m sure we could find something to occupy your time for the rest of the night.”

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mimicxism

She ran a hand down her face, a physical attempt to wipe away what her brain refused to stop chanting.

She did like to read. She'd grown up without many books and the time spent being taught to murder hadn't involved any books, so, really, it felt like a victory. Reading instead of hunting down people, instead of spending every waking moment thinking about her childhood–she did do that a lot, though–it wasn't much, but it was something.

"Really?" She couldn't help but be surprised. Her early years had been spent with her nose buried in any book she could get her hands on and had only changed with her father's death. She knew her situation was far from the norm and, from what she recalled, schools had always been filled with books if nowhere else. "Where'd ya grow up?" Any harshness from before faded, relaxed curiosity taking its place.

Books were a safe subject.

"Any bookstore open late enough for me is practically a Godsend."

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Harper snorted, “Gotta make yourself happy, but it sure don’ take much for others ta take that happiness.” She yawned and ran a hand down her face. “Trus’ me, I could worship myself and people would still know better than ta love me. Least those with any self preservation.” She snickered, “‘Sides, love, family, all tha’ stuff’s nothin’ but trouble.” She coulsnt hide the bitterness in her tone if she tried, she wasn’t in any mood to put forth the effort either.

“I ain’t sayin’ ya gotta go out and fall in love ‘r nuthin’. The thing is ya gotta go and try to make yerself happy. That’s gotta be yer intent. And trust me, I know it’s harder than it looks. In fact, sometimes it’s damn near impossible. Just start with the little stuff.” Logan shrugged at her before putting his hands up.

“Look, I ain’t one to talk and I ain’t gonna sit here and lecture you.”

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mimicxism

"Ta be honest," she paused, uncertain if she wanted to spill her confusion on the front of happiness, "aw, ta heck with it, I don' really know if happiness is an option for me, even if it was, I don' have the slightest clue how I'd find it."

"Best li'l stuff I can think of is gettin' myself wasted."

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Anonymous asked:

A male with blonde curly hair and bright green eyes smiled before sitting at the bar next to the female. "Hey there dollface, what's your name?"

Harper furrowed her brow, "Not dollface, and not interested. Bye now." She accented her dismissal with a wave of her hand.

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image

Once again, he nodded as he listened to Harper’s explanation, being able to relate to not having the best social skills.”You don’t have to explain yourself,I wasn’t under the impression you were incompetent in the first place. Trust me, you’d have to do a lot more than not be a people person to convince me you were incompetent.” He returned her grin with another smile of his own to reassure her, but he knew she might not take his words to heart, seeing how the two just barely know each other.

“I’ll assume it’s going to be far from the last time as well.” Trunks let out a yawn as well and covered his mouth, not because he was tired, but rather in response to seeing her do so just moments before. He shook off the slightly drowsy feeling and returned his attention to Harper, “So, if you don’t mind my asking, what do you normally do when you can’t go to sleep? There’s only so many things I can imagine a half-asleep person doing before they collapse.”

For all he knew, Harper could have been planning to stay up until her body made her get some rest, but he’d yield more results in asking than by simply making assumptions.

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mimicxism

“You’d be assumin’ correct,” She couldn’t help letting out a quiet laugh when he yawned, “sorry ‘bout that.” She could only keep the genuine smile on her face for so long once he asked his next question. Think. That wasn’t something she felt would branch into any enjoyable conversations. The obvious follow-up remark was about what? And she wasn’t in any mood to go on a tangent about her evil step-father and mommy dearest drinking herself into a stupor and that was what she thought about. 

Really, what was worse? Nightmares about being trained to kill like a trained dog or thinking for hours on end about the other awful and sickening factors of her life?

Enough of that offtrack train of thought. Now wasn’t the time. 

Read.” she hadn’t meant to spit it out so harshly, but the thoughts had brought bitterness to the surface once again. 

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This was supposed to help me to relax,” a pout appeared on her face, but she quickly wiped it away, “I guess,” Harper swallowed her pride, “I could use some pointers. Don’ be surprised if it goes ta waste, though, I’m not exactly the definition of patience, like I said. I’m willin’ ta try if it results in me catching that dumb fish.”

Noctis nodded, motioning for her to pick up her rod and come towards him. “See where I’ve got my angler out? If you look closely, you can notice small bubbles towards the surface. Now.” He pointed to their left. “Can you notice where they are there? You want to angle your rod for the hook to fall there.”

“I’m not entirely sure tha’ I know how to make this thing go where I want it to.” She shrugged, “I thought ya just went for it. Thought tha’ would work as well as anythin’ else. No harm in tryin’ though.” She shifted her shoulders, resulting in a pop, before attempting to follow his directions. When the hook fell, not far from where he’s motioned, she couldn’t help a satisfied grin.

“It takes some time to get used to it. Do it as many times as you need to. Even I miss-aim sometimes, and I’ve been doing this for years.” The corners of his lips tugged upwards for a moment before he shrugged. “Sometimes that’ll work, but in this area the fish are a little bit trickier.” He watched carefully as Harper tossed the hook, nodding in satisfaction. “If one bites, you’ll feel the tug.”

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mimicxism

“Right,” she shuffled her feet, even she doubted he was doing much more than attempting to make her feel better she appreciated it, “Well, maybe if they’re trickier, fightin’ them wouldn’ be too far out of the question.” She hummed, “Maybe they just don’t like me.

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Harper gave a grin, confidence clear in her expression. “I’m a known traitor. One that doesn’t plan on becoming an example.”

Eyes still narrow, Keith gave this one the benefit of the doubt. “Fine but.. I don’t plan to trust you anytime soon..”

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mimicxism

"Wouldn' expect ya to, no offense taken." She shrugged while putting her mask back into place.

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Harper removed the mask with little hesitation. “I don’ have anything ta hide from you, but my forehead might as well have a target on it if any galra soldiers catch sight of me.”

“I don’t think they’ll find you here…” Sighs. “I take it you went somewhere safe.” Looks confused. “What are you to the Galra.. Why do they target you?” 

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mimicxism

Harper gave a grin, confidence clear in her expression. "I'm a known traitor. One that doesn't plan on becoming an example."

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//sorry for the lack of posts! I'll be back Saturday!

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“Harper,” she cocked a brow behind her mask, “I suppose we’re at an impasse. Can’ say I blame ya, though.” She wasn’t in any hurry to trust anyone either, a galran traitor who spent her time stalking the shadows and avoiding the rebellion as best she could, she didn’t hold the favor of many.

“You say I can trust you.. yet you wear a mask?” Tries to stand and back away. “What do you need to hide if you don’t plan to hurt me…”

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mimicxism

Harper removed the mask with little hesitation. "I don' have anything ta hide from you, but my forehead might as well have a target on it if any galra soldiers catch sight of me."

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@red-paladin-of-marmora
Harper paused, thinking her words through as carefully as she could. “Don’ suppose you’d have any ideas of how I could prove myself?”

“I don’t…” He simply didn’t trust strangers, good reason for this behavior. Guard up despite her words, Keith watched her. “Whats your name..” 

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mimicxism

"Harper," she cocked a brow behind her mask, "I suppose we're at an impasse. Can' say I blame ya, though." She wasn't in any hurry to trust anyone either, a galran traitor who spent her time stalking the shadows and avoiding the rebellion as best she could, she didn't hold the favor of many.

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mimicxism

“I can hardly force myself to get any sleep now. I used to be able to shut it out and play normal,” she sighed, running a hand through her hair, leaving a mess, “but now I can’t.”

“Trust me… I know the feeling. Past mistakes, or even just your past in general. They can haunt you so much, that sleep becomes more a dream than reality. It really sucks.” Prompto said with a quick glance at his wrist

"Really, wha's the difference between sleep and bein' awake? If I sleep, the past digs its claws in and if I'm awake I'm makin' my own life awful." Harper ran a finger across the deep divot on her eye with a sigh.

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