ORC FACT
got your stupid ass. this is a gnome post. give me all the fucking berries right now
got your stupid ass. this is a gnome post. give me all the fucking berries right now
from steps by frank o’hara 🫶🏻
your abstract concept fucking bit me
i love how delusional some articles of clothing are, like you read the tag and its like “hand wash only/tumble dry on low” son you are a cotton tshirt. youre going in the warsh and whatever happens in there is in gods hands
so I recently got this dark magical amulet, and I am,like, obsessed
Albert Einstein’s office—just as the Nobel Prize-winning physicist left it, taken mere hours after Einstein died. | April 1955
your friend brett in 2003: “hey guys! ready for a deathmatch round in blood gulch?”
you and your two other friends who found a glowing crystal in the back of your house that gave you a prophetic glimpse into the future where the three of you live successful lives but only if brett dies following a series of finely-connected events that begin with him winning a round of deathmatch on blood gulch: “yeah brett you’re on”
hey man sorry im late. yeah i gave a mouse a cookie. you know how it is
And the rest of us rise too, and clink our glasses across the table, like an army regiment crossing sabres: Henry and Bunny, Charles and Francis, Camilla and I. “Live forever,” we chorus, throwing our glasses back in unison.
your honor, in my defense: who cares like omfggggggggg who cares???????????? like. come On
cdc recomand that. you be my friendd>:3
Having found family isn't enough I need to commit acts of eco-terrorism
baby can i b ur profen
“Run into a cave and break your ankle so that people have to come find you and they see you lying at the bottom of this beautiful cave and maybe there’s a waterfall and the light from the crystals makes you look really beautiful and they say “Are you okay?” and you say “I think so” and they say “oh my God have you been here alone this whole time with a broken ankle” and you say “it’s okay” and they say “you’re so brave” and you are brave and you look so beautiful surrounded by cave crystals and everyone stands over you and says “oh wow” and “you poor beautiful thing” and “I’m so sorry we let you run into the cave but I’m so glad we found you” and let them carry you home and promise to be your best friends forever and that everything’s their fault and also they named the cave after you and you’re prettier than all of your enemies and your enemies all died of jealousy while you were in the cave.”
— Daniel M. Lavery, How To Respond To Criticism (via boringoldraphael)
just ate an orange… no scurvy for me thank you… #NoScurvy