Warren Mackenzie pieces selling for $1500 will never not be funny to me

Warren Mackenzie: oh yeah this mug is like $4 and cheaper than ones you'll find at a department store. My design philosophy is all about functionality. If I raise the price, people will think it's too expensive to use it. All I literally care about is usability. Please for the love of God just put some fucking coffee in it. This is literally what I'm all about. Just a cool guy mastering the art of functional pottery

Gallery owner: this is a genuine Mackenzie piece and I'm pricing it so high you won't even want to breathe on it

The Great Gatsby’s copyright expires January 1, 2021 and I for one am quite looking forward to the inevitable publication of Nick/Gatsby fanfiction.

Look me in the eye and tell me there’s not at least ten people sitting on a completed manuscript right now. I dare you.

WE HAVE ARRIVED

*dual wielding my new wizard staves*

One casts poison the other also casts poison

but green

things are heating up in the temperature fandom

You will never have gloop. She will never do what you yoinky. You will never have big splurgs or a big ass gloopy

Me: Listen… before we go in, I should warn you. I have a cat…

My date: Oh! I love cats!

Me: Sure, but.. my cat has kind of a weird meow….

My date: You mean like kind of a croaky one? That’s fine!

Me: No, it’s.. well… sigh…. You’ll see.

(A muffled Wilhelm scream is heard through the door)

Golden possum and baby

anti-surveillance-state hero

coke fiend

it’s what they deserved

the dyatlov pass incident

My greyhound was snoozing under blankets in her bed but then decided she wanted to look out the kitchen window. A magnificent beast.

this is the point the berenstein and berenstain universes are reconverging