OMG MY FIRST REQUEST!! YES OF COURSE! I REALLY REALLY REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT ! and if anyone else has any requests, send them my way!!! :)
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My Muse
She loved Harry, his music, his career and could not be more proud of him, his success and who he has become.
Although, she was struggling.
This whole album has been about Harry discovering himself, who he is… but also about his ex-girlfriend Camille.
Y/N knew about Harry everything he went through after their relationship ended, he was struggling greatly. They met around half a year after the break up, but she could see Harry was still struggling. She could see how he would keep to himself around new people, especially out in public. He was quite and wouldn’t speak out much, very different then how their mutual friend, Sarah had always described him.
Sarah has always talked highly of him, being in his band they grew very close and she often got to see how he went through his different writing processes. She saw him before and after shows and she knew him before and after Camille. Something Y/N could not relate to.
As time passed, the two got together, forming what their friends called a power couple. Harry and Y/N were completely inseparable, growing closer and closer as each day passed.
Harry opened up to her a few months into the relationship, sitting her down and letting her know exactly what happened in the relationship and why it was so difficult for him when it ended. He told her that since it was a huge part of the album, he might have to talk about it a bit, without saying names of course but she knew that everyone else already knew who he was going to be talking about.
“It’s okay, Harry. I totally understand. Don’t worry about it.” She would always say, giving him a smile and a soft kiss onto his jawline.
Y/N wasn’t lying, she did understand why and she didn’t want him to worry about her, not now. Not when his second album is taking off, hitting the top of the charts in preorder alone.
She did enjoy the majority of interviews. Hearing him tell funny stories of the writing process, or always getting emotional as he opens up about finding himself, his true sound and how he doesn’t feel like he needs to hold back anymore. But interview after interview, it got harder. Hearing him talk about the love he felt and then the unbearable pain after it was gone. She felt inadequate. Wondering if nothing went wrong, where would she be? Would Harry still fall for her when Sarah introduced him like he said he did?
Although, Y/N never brought up these concerns to him. Especially after the album drop he was on top of the world, explaining how he has never felt happier and more free, but she couldn’t help thinking if he would be happier with her by his side instead.
“Y/N, are you alright?” A voice brings her out, looking up and seeing Sarah standing there at the door, offering her a soft smile.
“Oh hi! Yeah, I’m totally fine don’t worry about me.” She nodded, looking back at the monitor, watching Harry messing around on stage with Mitch after finishing up a soundcheck nearly a minute ago. They often liked to stay for a while, messing around on stage, this often gave Sarah and Y/N sometime to catch up as their boys hung out together.
“Are you sure, sweetheart?” She asked, eyebrows furrowing as she sat next to her on the couch, “Cmon (Y/N), you know you can trust me with anything.”
“How’d Harry do?” She asked, trying to ease in, hearing Harry strum in the background to Cherry, causing Y/N to bite her bottom lip.
“Good… was just a sound check. Everything running fine- seriously what’s going on?” Sarah insisted, interrupting herself.
“What was he like? With her?”
A silence fills the room until Sarah let’s out a sigh, muttering a soft ‘oh honey’ before scooting closer, arms going around her friend protectively. Sarah knew she was struggling, but with it being such a difficult subject, she didn’t want to pry too much. She wanted to wait until Y/N was ready to confide in her, but instead she bottled it up.
“Fuck, sorry I shouldn’t have asked thats… sorry it’s none of my business.” Y/N quickly says, forcing a laugh and wiping her eyes, standing up quickly and going to look for her purse.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I know how hard this has been for you.” Her friend agrees, standing and following her, “have you and Harry talked about it? Talked about how this has been for you?”
Y/N shook her head, biting her lip hard as her eyes were squeezed shut, knowing if she spoke a word she would break down, she had been holding it in for too long.
“Do you wanna talk about it with him?”
She shrugged at this, honestly not knowing the answer. If she did, she didn’t know if Harry would stop all together, making his album less authentic or If he would be upset she held it in, or even said anything about it at all. But she genuinely didn’t know if she could hold it in any longer.
“You can tell me.” Sarah nodded, hugging her tightly, “let it out.”
“It hurts” Y/N breaks, letting out a sob, “it seems like- like all he talks about is her! And I know he wrote this whole thing before we met and- do you think he still loves her?”
“Y/N, no.” She says, pulling her back and wiping the tears from her friends face, “I’ve seen this man before, during and after both of you, and I have never seen him this happy. Ever”
She shakes her head, not believing her. “It can’t be me. It’s the album, the success! He’s himself now, so that’s what’s making him happy. I didn’t help him- she did.”
“Y/N stop” Sarah demanded, grabbing her shoulders and moving her hair out of her face, “Harry is in love with you! I remember him coming to me, asking me for advice when you went out on your first date.”
She shakes her head, disbelief and doubt being pumped through her veins, “it just doesn’t make sense! Look at her and then look at me. Who would you choose?”
“Stop.” She argues, rolling her eyes, “she’s skinnier and prettier and older! She’s way older than me, way older than him. Is that what he wants? I’m younger than him, Sarah. Young enough where there’s a million articles about it.”
“You’re going to make yourself sick if you don’t calm down.” Sarah demands, “please? Just calm down and we can talk about this. What does your age have to do with anything? You’re so beautiful, Y/N.”
“No, I should stop. Mitch and Harry will be back any second.” She sniffles, looking at herself in the mirror and sighing, dabbing at the skin around her eyes to try and depuff them.
“You can’t hold this in.” Sarah whispers, hugging her friend again, “please? Talk to me?”
“I love him and it’s scary because I don’t know-“ Y/N begins but quickly stops, hearing her boyfriends loud laughter, soon getting louder as he opened the door.
Y/N shoots Sarah a sympathetic look, silently begging her to remain quiet and not say a word, which she nods, giving Mitch and Harry a smile as they walk in the door, each boy going to each of them.
“Hey babe!” Harry smirks, kissing her before pulling back, eyebrows furrowing together and he lowers his voice, “are you alright? You look like you’ve been crying.”
“I’m okay!” She smiles, “poked my eye when I was fixing my makeup. Anyways, what are you guys up to?”
“We were gonna go grab some food before the show! Where do you wanna go?” He asks, hands going around her waist.
“Oh I’m not hungry.” She quickly responds, “been feeling a bit off all day so I might stay behind. I wanna feel better for your show.”
Harry frowns, pulling her closer to him before leading her out of the lounge room, leaving Mitch and Sarah as they continue their own conversation. Harry leads her off to his private dressing room.
“What’s up?” He frowns, lifting his hand to her face and rubbing her cheek softly, “what happened?”
“Nothing, Harry.” She smiles, her heart growing at his concern. Yet, she knows she can’t tell him. Not now, hours before his mini Fine Line show in London. The last thing she wants to be is a distraction, “don’t worry about me, really! And I feel like I’ve been budging in too much, go bond with the band!”
“You’re not interrupting anything. I want you here.”
“I know and I appreciate that, really, love being around you and everybody.” She giggles, “but I’m not gonna be there the whole tour and I gotta get used to that.”
“I wish you could be.” He frowns, pulling her right against his chest, “always want you next to me…. or below me.”
“Harry!” She laughed, pulling back and playfully pushing him, “you’re crazy.”
“Crazy for you, my love.” He dopily smirks, kissing her, softly.
She giggled against his lips, pulling him closer for another, each kiss making her worries drift further and further away. Mind reeling as his hands fall down her waist, gripping her bum as he pushes her closer, his lips falling down to her neck.
“Hey man, Sar-“ Mitchs voice causing them to jump away from each other, the three of them turning red as he clears his throat, “Um- sorry. I was just saying that Sarah said she’s gonna take a nap before the show too so I think it’s just just gonna be us and the other guys.”
“Sounds good!” He smirks, feeling a bit smug after what Mitch just walked in on, he turns back to Y/N, tucking a hair behind her ear, “you can stay in here if you want, lock the door and take a nap or whatever you need. Nobody should bother you and I’ll be back before you know it. Okay?”
She nodded, thanking him before pressing a kiss to his lips, “I love you, Harry.”
“I love you more, babygirl.” He smiles, kissing the top of her head before waving goodbye, following Mitch out.
She sighs, falling back on the couch and closing her eyes, mind muddled with confusion. Moments like that make her feel so silly, wondering why she ever worried in the first place. She does trust Harry, she doesn’t worry about him going out to try and find someone else, but she always wonders if he prefers to be with her, just has Y/N because he doesn’t have that option anymore.
She can’t help but lay awake, spending many sleepless nights just comparing herself to her. Camille was beautiful, and nobody could deny that. She had such grace and Y/N felt like her French accent and demeanor made her much more interesting then her own plain American ways. She wonders if Harry wishes Y/N was older, rather than being multiple years younger. She wondered if it annoyed him, bothered him that she had a great lack of experience. Harry was all she’d ever known and all she wants forever.
But did he feel the same? Did he actually love her? Does he actually find her as beautiful as he said? She found it hard to believe, especially seeing all he has had in the past. It makes her feel guilty, guilty for feeling so upset and hurt by seeing and hearing about people he was with prior, even though they’d never met at the time.
The door swings open, startling her and causing her to jump and heart to pound as she prepared what she would say next to Sarah, but it wasn’t her, it was Harry.
“What? What are you doing here?” She rushes, clutching her chest to try and calm her racing heart, I thought you were going to get food? Did you forget something?”
“Yes.” He mumbles, sinking down onto the couch next to her and holding her face in his hands, “I forgot to tell you how important you are to me. More than any album, place on the charts, anything.”
“W-what? Where is this coming from, Bubs?”
“Sarah told me what you said to her.” He frowns, eyes sparkling, “and I’m the biggest fucking arsehole I didn’t stop to talk to you about it once. To stop and actually ask you about it.”
“Harry, really, I’m just being-“
“Y/N listen, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. You’re my person. You’re it for me.” He whispers, leaning his forehead against her, tears forming in her eyes as she’s filled with so many emotions, “you gotta believe me, lovie.”
“I love you, Harry.” She sniffles, “I believe you, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong. This is all my fault. I should’ve talked to you more, I didn’t even think about how hard this would be for you, I’m so sorry.” He rambles, “you are the love of my life Y/N. Yes, I was in love before but this? With you? It’s so strong and real and terrifying. I’ve never felt this before. I want to be with you. Forever. Nobody else. And I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am to not have made that clear.”
“I should’ve told you from the beginning how I felt.” She admits, “I don’t want you to stop talking about it in interviews if that’s what you want to say, you should say it. It’s just really hard to hear you talk about her all the time.”
“I’m sorry my love. I don’t deserve you, don’t deserve your support.” He whispers, kissing her hands, “I am so beyond lucky to have you. You are the most beautiful, kind, considerate woman in the whole world. I don’t know how I got you.”
“Stop it.” She blushes, bringing her hands away from his lips and up to his face, shaking her head in disbelief, wondering how he even existed, “you are truly the most perfect man.”
“Now you stop.” He chuckles, cheeks turning pink, “I’m praising you here… really though love. You are my muse. I have millions of songs written about you.”
“Really?” She whispers, eyes wide, “you’re not just saying that?”
“What do you think Mitch and I are doing all the time?” He laughs, “we make Sarah go because we know she’d tell!”
“Well you’re right, because she told you what I said after I told her not too.” She blushes, looking down at her lap.
“Oh stop that you know she did the right thing.” He laughs, dragging her a bit closer to him so her legs lay over his lap, “Honestly, I was scared to show you them, thought I was open before wait till you hear these.”
“Can I? Can I hear them? Please?”
“I guess since you have good manners.” He smirks, pulling her on top of him. She giggles and he pulls her onto his lap, “you can hear ‘em all. Don’t know what I was waiting for… guess I was just scared?”
“Of what, Bubby?” She frowns, arms resting around his shoulders as she looks up at him.
“I don’t know… I just… I know you’re the one, so it’s kinda scary I guess…not knowing if you feel the same.”
“I do.” She squeaks, “I love you so much- wanna be with you forever.”
“Yeah?” He smirks, squeezing her hips tight causing her to squeal, falling into him, “I’ve been yours since the day we met. You inspire me, Y/N. You are my muse. I’d choose you over anyone. You are my priority.”
He leans in, kissing her softly, almost as if he was afraid of breaking her in two. His lips fell to her neck, sucking on her favorite spot and her grip tightened on him, head falling to the side a bit and she lets out a soft whimper.
“Harry, please…” she squeaked, hips pressing down into him involuntarily.
“I’m gonna take care of you.” He whispers lowly, pulling up the bottom of her dress and over her head, “gonna take care of you until the day I die, my love.”
