savanna

“I have been staying awake at nights, wondering if I should tell you.”

Loving him was red

“You look back somedays. For the most part though, you don’t talk about it. You don’t tell your friends about the dream you had last night. The one where I come knocking at your door three years from now just to tell you that I haven’t ever stopped loving you. Or the one where you call me in the middle of the night just to say that home doesn’t feel like a place, that it’s a person and that it exists only when your heart is in my mouth. So for the most part, you don’t like to talk about it. Except sometimes you drink a little too much and in between the silence that lingers you talk about how much it hurt then and how much it hurts to remember it now. Then the next day you go back to what you know how to do best. So you play forget until there’s too much alcohol in your veins and you play forget until it’s too hard to stop thinking about all the ways that love was bad for you. You curse it for the ways it didn’t stay but you never curse at yourself for all the ways in which you were too much of a coward to fight for it.”

“i think almost is the saddest word there could be. “i almost kissed her” “we almost made it through” “it almost happened” its a word used when you expect a certain thing to happen, but life turns into another direction, and you’re just stuck there wishing.”